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500 Things You Learned in Fallout 3


soulknightX

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225. No matter how much you helped them, saved their life even, people will stop to berate you for accidentally kicking a rusty can while escorting them out of danger. (I'm looking at you, stupid BOS newbie with a jammed gun.)

 

226. No matter how good a reputation you have, or how much you helped them, or even saved their life, people will still treat you like a thief if you even accidentally look at a locked door or owned item for more than half a second. (E.g., Red still thinks I'll steal an empty syringe, even after I saved her from being eaten by supermutants, activated the town's robots, and saved her patient's life, without asking for any reward.)

 

227. ... and they must have an eyeball in their ass too, the way they see you looking at that door even while they're walking away from you.

 

228. People in a coma (e.g., the aforementioned patient) will still clap their hands and cheer for you after you saved the town.

 

229. BOS (e.g., Sarah Lyons at the first encounter) and Outcasts (e.g., at their fort) will still act as if they just saved you, even if you killed every single enemy without any assistance from them.

 

230. Generally, even if you kicked more supermutant ass than their whole east coast troops, you'll still get about as much respect from the BOS as the late Rodney Dangerfield did. They don't need your help, because you could be a useless newbie like Redding. It takes singlehandedly wiping out a major Enclave base and causing an orbital strike for them to acknowledge that, yeah, maybe you're good enough for them. Barely.

 

231. Shooting supermutants and deathclaws is the best way to improve skills like speech or medicine.

 

232. Conversely, any way of dealing with a problem more creatively than shooting someone (e.g., shooting a car to take out a group of ghouls) is worth no experience whatsoever.

 

233. Saving people from Supermutants is really interfering with natural selection, and ultimately pointless. (E.g., after seeing a hostage I rescued run into supermutants at the memorial three times in a row, and still go back that way each time I shoot whatever mutant was chasing him, I decided to just let him earn a Darwin Award.)

 

234. None of the raiders, slavers, supermutants, bandits, canibals, etc, will ever try to rob or kill a little old lady living alone in a remote place, because she plays classic music on the radio. (WTH, did everyone with different tastes in music die in the war?)

 

235. Travelling long distances must be done blindfolded and deaf. (I swear if I fast-travel right into a group of 3 supermutants one more time...)

 

236. A tin or aluminium can (most 'tin cans' actually have aluminium sides) can still get brown rust if given enough time.

 

237. After finding a gun with a rusty slide, nobody will bother cleaning and oiling it before shooting with it. Apparently rust just gives it character. Which probably explains why...

 

238. Guns which in army tests have shot literally thousands of rounds without any sign of damage, will need major repairs after you shoot a hundred rounds or so with them.

 

239. People can still run with two broken legs.

 

240. Bullets travel in funny trajectories, curving up, down, left or right, or various combinations thereof.

 

241. Blankets, bed sheets and pillows don't survive a nuclear war, and the ancient secret to their manufacture is among the first knowledge that humanity will lose.

 

242. Glass is the strongest material in the universe, ahead of neutronium, adamatium and impervium, judging by how a building that has half its floors blown apart and/or caved in by a nuke will still have its windows intact. (See the hotel.) Or by how every single bus or subway car half-buried in a tunnel cave-in still has all windows intact.

 

243. It's possible to hammer a nail into glass. (No, seriously, several windows and glass doors actually have boards fixed with nails through the glass.)

 

244. No amount of nukes will break the pipes and stop sinks and drinking fountains and toilets from having running water. But you're not cooking with gas any more.

 

245. The USA had already switched to bottle caps as a currency before the war, judging by how you find them even in locked safes in vaults. (Then again, the way the dollar is going...;))

 

246. People were already eating fried iguana, molerat steak, and so on before the war, judging by the way you find them in fridges everywhere.

 

247. ... and in spite of sitting in an unpowered fridge for 200 years, they're always still good to eat. They may have just gotten a few rads in that time, but never any mold or bacteria.

 

248. While 10,000 rounds of ammo weigh nothing at all, something the size of a 9V battery can weigh 10 pounds, making it denser than any material known to mankind, short of a neutron star. (I mean, seriously, it's 13 times denser than Tungsten.)

Edited by Moraelin
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254: Things don't go according to plan

255: There are a wide variety of robots to tend to your EVERY desire

256: Winning the lottery isn't very rewarding when you brag about it to everyone...

257: If you punch people nailed to crucifixes and then fall down, then they just get back up crippled say "help me"

258: Gamblers walking around randomly are "having the time of" their "life".

259: When you exit old buildings beware of a gang of old ladies holding rolling pins because they'll try and kill you.

260: Wastelanders say hello to dogs :3

231: When asked if I am a maker of war or peace, then I get an option of "Pizza"....

232: Lots of people say "nayhay theres the high roller"

233: If you unties benny he isn't the best fighter....

234: Never open bathroom stalls in Vault 22

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  • 2 weeks later...

235. Forcibly amputating body parts is neither a recommended interrogation technique nor a viable form of tech salvage.

236. It is OK to not like or trust strangers. But if they have things you need and are willing to deal, then at least be polite.

237. It is unquestionable that deal-breaking and murder happen in the Wastes. But trying to do both to someone standing in a cache full of high-tech weaponry is just 'Darwin Award' stupid.

Edited by 7thsealord
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238. - Despite your best efforts in the Wasteland and FOR the Wastelanders, you are still WORTH. A. GODDAMN. s***.

239. - People can be SO stupid, that when someone is armed only with a leather dress and a baseball bat, he will (following a strange and unusual pulse called 'suicide') carelessly shout and insult another person; which is usually staring at him in a perfect conditioned Power Armor, and is obviously pointing a Minigun (or even worse) at him, in response.

240. - Gain money, weaponry, reputation; make good services for the Wasteland and the Wastelanders; kill thousands of people, Mutants, whatever you want; make the Wasteland a better place. STILL NOT GETTING LAID.

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241. - No matter how hard you try, Dogmeat will never die

242. - Ghouls will always go feral.... it just may take a few hundred years....

243. - It doesn't matter if you have 200,000 rounds of ammo with your fancy plasma rifle.... that Albino Radscorpion thinks you look tasty right about now...

244. - Raiders are infinite in numbers.... even if you shoot them with your MIRV more will come... in exactly 78 hours game time

245. - No matter how advanced the civilization... they leave all the cleaning to the player (thank God for the 'disable' command :D )

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