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Give me your fallout jokes


PaladinRider

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Hello,

 

After Omega549 and I release the next version of Run the Lucky 38 mod, we'll be moving forward with the content. One of which I'm looking to implement is more entertainment options. I'm asking you for your best Wasteland jokes and gimmicks that could be used for a comedian in the Lucky 38.

 

Show me what you've got, I'll choose the best of them to use in the mod and give you credit for it of course. If you've got some rude jokes that may not be appropriate for the message boards, feel free to send me a PM :)

 

Show me what you've got.

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Ok, I'll give it shot. Just some variations of some oldies:

 

"I was wondering why that grenade was getting bigger, then it hit me." (Maybe "spear" would be better)

 

"If at first you don't succeed, try a Fat Man."

 

A deathclaw walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "May I please have a gin and....

 

....

 

.......

 

.........

 

...........

 

............. tonic?" To which the bartender replies "Sure, but why the big pause?" And the deathclaw says "I dunno, I've always had 'em."

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Variation on an old joke:

 

A slave escapes from the Legion and makes it as far as the Grand Canyon. There's no way across but he sees a blonde girl on the other side and shouts over to her, "How can I get to the other side?" The blonde girl looks left, then right, then shouts back at the runaway, "You're on the other side!"

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k, i made these up just now. ie *warning* they're pre-coffee jokes.

 

How many BOS does it take to screw in a light bulb? 20. One to screw in the lightbulb and 19 to keep the light from getting out to the wasteland.

 

How many NCR does it take to screw in a light bulb? 10. One to screw in the lightbulb and 9 to collect the illumination tax.

 

How many Omertas does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4. One to screw in the lightbulb and 3 to dump his body afterwards.

 

How many Kings does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to screw in the lightbulb and 1 to wipe off the hair gel.

 

How many Nightkin does it take to screw in a light bulb? I have no idea, it was like the damn thing screwed in by itself!

 

How many Legion does it take to screw in a light bulb? Are you kidding?! That's women's work!

Edited by kevkiev
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It might make for better emphasis of syllables with a NPC (robots are typically pretty monotone) but, on the other hand, maybe that wouldn't be insurmountable with a robot and you could have a bit more fun with the name, e.g. the "Shecky 2000" or something like that
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how many followers of the apocalypse does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

3 - 1 to change the light bulb, 1 to cheer him on and another one to right a folk song about it.

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