Are Bullies born or created?

[kvnchrist]

I've heard talk thatt most bullies are taught to be that way by those who have bullied them and I have also heard that they are born that way and it just is a personality quirk that makes them that way.

 

Your thoughts.

[McclaudEagle]

While I think there is a possibility that a greater tendency to become a bully can be acquired at birth, I think the single biggest factors are environmental, what goes on around the child when they're learning. Unfortunately, at such a young age, children are very susceptible to learning all the wrong things from people they either look up to, or whom treat them badly. Bullying doesn't necessarily just start in childhood either; adults can become bullies, even if they were once nice, polite children. I'd imagine depression, work life, mistreatment, etc., can factor into that.

[Vagrant0]

I've heard talk thatt most bullies are taught to be that way by those who have bullied them and I have also heard that they are born that way and it just is a personality quirk that makes them that way.

 

Your thoughts.

I wouldn't say "taught" is the right way to describe it. More that it is a learned behavior that is usually related to how a person defines a position of power. If they see power as being only by means of domineering over others, they are more likely to act in a similar way when they are put into a position of power, previously this would usually by means of physical force or presence. But with internet bullying, it has become more about effort, being sneaky, having access to unsupervised connections, and playing politics. How and where they learn this is often up to circumstance and is not easy to detect. But the interesting thing is that often people who were bullied end up being bullies themselves at a later point once the power has shifted (often middle management).

 

At its core though it is all about using power over others and how that position is defined to them. It can be corrected if someone in their life can teach them other ways to use that power, but usually has to be from someone that that person will even listen to.

[kvnchrist]

 

I've heard talk thatt most bullies are taught to be that way by those who have bullied them and I have also heard that they are born that way and it just is a personality quirk that makes them that way.

 

Your thoughts.

I wouldn't say "taught" is the right way to describe it. More that it is a learned behavior that is usually related to how a person defines a position of power. If they see power as being only by means of domineering over others, they are more likely to act in a similar way when they are put into a position of power, previously this would usually by means of physical force or presence. But with internet bullying, it has become more about effort, being sneaky, having access to unsupervised connections, and playing politics. How and where they learn this is often up to circumstance and is not easy to detect. But the interesting thing is that often people who were bullied end up being bullies themselves at a later point once the power has shifted (often middle management).

 

At its core though it is all about using power over others and how that position is defined to them. It can be corrected if someone in their life can teach them other ways to use that power, but usually has to be from someone that that person will even listen to.

 

 

 

Yeah, Thank you. I misused the word taught. I meant more along the lines of acquired experience. I am thinking that fear may be a component in the decision to act as a bully. A kind of a security blanket.

 

The internet is a rather unique instrument that I think the lack of the social graces and the desire to be apart of some society makes a rather potent perfect storm with some people.

 

I was told once that I could potentially become a bully, since I had a lot of insecurities and didn't really know how to deal with them. I finally decided that I actually liked who I was and found out that if I reached out then there would almost always be a open hand out there who was moe than willing to take mine in friendship.

 

What I worry is that most of these who do violence to others, like these school shootings may just be who I would have become, if I chose another path.

[kvnchrist]

While I think there is a possibility that a greater tendency to become a bully can be acquired at birth, I think the single biggest factors are environmental, what goes on around the child when they're learning. Unfortunately, at such a young age, children are very susceptible to learning all the wrong things from people they either look up to, or whom treat them badly. Bullying doesn't necessarily just start in childhood either; adults can become bullies, even if they were once nice, polite children. I'd imagine depression, work life, mistreatment, etc., can factor into that.

I agree. Do you think there should be screening for those who have emotional problems in school?

[SPH1]

I suppose that there are many different types of bullies. But the one I'm thinking of - the classical school-yard bully - generally is based to a greater or lesser degree upon their size and strength, as opposed to their victims. A skinny weakling usually will not make an effective bully. A large meat-head, feeling the oats of his strength/size, might.

 

Peer pressure - the need to look good or strong in front of others, might also play a role.

 

Then again, some A-holes might be born that way, and continue being bullies their entire lives. Even if not a large, hulking figure they may use economic or employment power instead.

Edited March 21, 2016 by SPH1

[oolongdao]

bullies are taught, while there is evidence to prove that certain people can be born with genetics that make them more likely to be a murdering psychopath you have to learn it's smart to keep your enemies alive from somewhere, usually bootleg honor systems or cartoons...

 

yes bullies do indeed come from shitty households and situations but this comes back to my first point. imagine you're dealing with a child that came from some shitkicker part of the rust belt and he's a bully. you could say

*His father abuses him, well how many people shrink away from abuse?

*His grandfather abused his father, so why does he know how to stop beating someone before death?

*He's being peer pressured into it, then why not go after the person who convinced him to fight too?

 

I'm not christina hoff sommers i don't think children, especially boys are by their nature stupid fistmongers, while boys in primitive societies might be more physically active they aren't more violent. It's just a fact of america's culture left over from before the anglo saxons came to britain, like a appendix that fights people. by comparison think of how many children in america have killed a animal, now combine that with the amount that go hunting and prepare the animal when you look at videos of primitive cultures in the pacific, africa, asia, and south america do you see any of those children burdened with adult responsibilities like that? hell no that would make you a bad parent in situations like that, kids in america learned to hunt and kill and prepare game like we don't have easy supplies all over the place. in a similar fashion bullies have to learn successful bully traits from things like cartoons and movies.

seriously ask a bully about their favorite cartoon character and i guarantee you they hit people to solve problems but don't kill them.

[WursWaldo]

I think being a bully is learned/taught. In my school days I was bullied because I was the tall black kid who didn't act black and I talked with a funny accent (still do actually). The people who bullied me were black. The white kids ignored me. I did have white friend and she was bullied by rich white girls. I was bullied by thug life wanna be's, she was bullied by the beautiful people. Race and wealth didn't have anything to do with who was doing the bullying.

The bullying ended for me during a stick ball game when I cracked one of them over the head and almost knocked him out. The bullying of my friend didn't end until high school when she filled all of the shampoo bottles in gym class with foam hair remover. The people who bullied me ended up dead or in prison. The people who bullied her went to college.

 

In both cases it was a group mentality where one of them got away with it so they all learned they could get away with it too.

[modder3434]

There are people born with the capacity to inflict harm upon others irregardless of any upbringing. However they tend to be the criminals that cause much heartache, and act from the shadows more then being in the spotlight as bullies are.

 

In that case bullies are usually people who learned that they could utilize their gifts to their personal gain...ex. physical strength, above average intelligence etc.. weather that realization is learned from a third party or self- realized is a moot point.

While its true that those who have been bullied, abused etc are more prone to become like those who preyed on them...many do not, in fact many become the opposite and oppose those types of people.

Everything Begins With Choice

[Mirocu]

Depends on the person, I´d say. But I think that circumstances can make someone a bully as a way to get attention and/or feel powerful (over someone) when they otherwise feel utterly powerless in their situation, whatever it may be. It may be a way for them to deal with hardships by redirecting their frustration over someone else.