kvnchrist Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 What Comes First A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.The egg, frowning, mutters to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kvnchrist Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Window95 Windows 95 (n) - 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kvnchrist Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 A good Deed A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Pete is leafing through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did anything really good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in." The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this time when I was driving down the highway and I saw a giant group of KKK Biker Gang Members assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of 'em torturing this chick. Infuriated, I get out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the KKK Biker Gang Rapists formed a circle around me. So, I rip the leader's chain off his face and smash him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turn around and yell to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'" St. Peter, impressed, says "Really? When did this happen?" "Oh... about two minutes ago." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kvnchrist Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 Nap Break An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tellfrom his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and waswell taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head;he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down thehall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks. Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.' The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ita Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 If you are a spambot why did you pay for premium membership? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonger Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 If you are a spambot why did you pay for premium membership?to reduce the ads while he is power posting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ita Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Wouldn't it make more sense to just use some sort of ad blocker? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kvnchrist Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 If you are a spambot why did you pay for premium membership? Hey I got a wild idea. hows about enjoying the jokes instead of trying to make me out as being something nasty. You ever thought about reading them and laughing at those you liked. I lost this link awile back and just found it. Is the a place for people to come together and enjoy themselves or is this a place where those who have already posted here call condemn those that come back. If you look I've been a member here for a little less than 3 years. I was thinking, now that I found the place again, I would start posting something. Sorry if I broke any taboos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ita Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Well, posting a wall of text, not to mention 14 consecutive posts in the same thread does look a bit suspicious. If you want to share your link with others, why not just post the url instead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kvnchrist Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Well, posting a wall of text, not to mention 14 consecutive posts in the same thread does look a bit suspicious. If you want to share your link with others, why not just post the url instead? First of all I have no link to share. These are posts from my old site that is dead, and even if I did have a link to another site I wouldn't arbitrarily post in on someone elses forum without their permission. The reason I posted all those in the same thread was to not flood the forum. N9ow, that would have been a wall of text. These are jokes man. They are nothing more than that. They're meant to be funny. You know ha, ha, he, he, ho, ho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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