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500 things you have learned in Oblivion


scarhunter92

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917. You can enter any town and prance merrily down the street naked, as a demon, in a mythic dawn uniform, in a black hand suit, or in any form of garb that screams THIEF, MURDERER and no one will comment. However, if you dare to don the mask of the Grey Fox, women will run from you, men will adore you and guards will climb over themselves to kill you.

 

918. Simply removing a mask will make everyone forget that you just killed every guard in town, set a mountain troll loose in town, and cast a spell that made everyone (still surviving) naked.

 

920. Cheaters always prosper.

 

921. Playing with hilarity mods is not only good, clean fun but they WILL make you cackle like a B movie villain. If it does not, there is something dreadfully wrong with you.

 

922. Killing the adoring fan NEVER gets old.

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923 - Stealing from or in front of a Guard is always hilarious.

924 - Guards can arrest dead bodies.

925 - Daedric Princes are Cross Dressers.

926 - Falling off Dive Rock and Surviving is Easy. Can't say the same for your Horse.

927 - Most horses in Cyrodil move in Slow motion.

928 - Dark Rangers aren't actually Evil.

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932 - Getting cornered is a very bad move. Not because you'll die, but because you'll get knocked through the wall :turned:

 

How so? Being inside the wall gives you the tactical advantage :D

 

However, eventually dying of starvation/old age isn't much tactical.

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933 - Don't depend too much on guards killing bandits for you. A guard shot me in the back by accident and I came SO close to death......

 

934 - Dead nude bodies are public attractions. One guy keeps returning and staring at a dead chick. For a very long time..... It's pretty creepy. I don't trust leaving that body out at night :confused:

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935: u fail to harvest plants, how stupid is that ?

936: when u fall u mentain perfect balance and don't even lean to sides, not to mention to tumble over

937: when you're in the middle of a battle and ppl are all over you attacking, all of them stop and politely wait for you to finish your conversations and dialogs if u started some, how sweet of them :D

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  • 1 month later...

938: Life isn't fair!! (for NPCs)

 

The player murders an npc right in front of the guards and can't pay the fine.

The player goes to jail.

 

 

An npc steals an apple for their eat package, and can't pay the fine.

The guards execute the npc on the spot.

Edited by mojodajojo
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