500 things you have learned in Oblivion

[ninja_lord666]

527. Every store in Cyrodill manages to stay open despite the fact that you are the only person to ever buy anything from them and get 20 times as much gold from them by sellling your loot.

If you cared to pay attention to the NPC AI packages, you'd realise that your statement is completely false. The NPCs do buy stuff.

[LoginToDownload]

528: Slavery is frowned upon, but using souls as fuel is peachy.

[Obsessed117]

529 - You can become the arch mage of the mages guild even though there are a ton of people who joined long before you.

 

530 - A club that requires you to perform menial tasks for every club location around the country still has members somehow.

[evilkoal]

531 - if you die, you can go back in time to stop yourself from dying. (yes, i know you're already dead. you can still do it though :D)

[Wander]

#532: Reading BOOKS in a Cyrodillian BOOKstore is illegal.

 

#533: No matter how long food sets out, it will always be perfect. :sick:

[LoginToDownload]

532-A: Bookstore, not library. Hey, can I use your repair hammers?

[ninja_lord666]

#532: Reading BOOKS in a Cyrodillian BOOKstore is illegal.

Reading them isn't illegal, but picking them up is.

[evilkoal]

533 - your conscience talks to you from the third person perspective. "you cant do that now" OMG WHAT?!?!

[LFact]

534. Regulus Terentius owns your Bravil house front door. :P (without unofficial patch)

[twrdrockfan]

535 - The safest way to smuggle a ruler out of the city is to use a tunnel from the prison that comes out just a few dozen yards from said prison.

 

536 - Merchants will pay handsomely for armor from the Imperial Legion, and not even question how you came to have it.

 

537 - All nobles shop like they are Sheogorath impersonators, and store their new property as such. Want to find yourself a scythe? Go look in the city castles.

 

538 - The guys with the canes always have the best toys.

 

539 - No matter how many crimes you commit, no one ever puts up YOUR wanted poster.

 

540 - There is nothing at all wrong with dressing like the losers. After all the Blades all wear and use Akaviri armaments, even though the Akavir were at war with Tamriel in the past.

 

541 - Despite the dwemer/dwarves disappearing a long time ago, they are apparently still very active craftsmen selling at reasonable prices. How else are all these blasted bandits getting that dwarven armor?

 

542 - Pick up an hourglass to turn it over and you get charged for stealing. Yank a potted plant out right in front of the owner and she won't even bat an eye.

 

543 - Stealing from the a grave or tomb is a crime, but looting a corpse right in front of a guard after killing the person in the same spot is perfectly fine.

 

544 - Apparently something in the bottling process makes blood useless to vampires.

 

545 - Apparently the Morrowind border is equipped with one of those invisible dog fences, set to lycanthrope. How else do you explain the prevalence of vampires but total absence of werewolves?

 

546 - A pirate can rack up a 40,000 gold bounty in just a few short years faster than the Grey Fox can accrue his 500 gold bounty.

 

547 - No one ever thinks about this total stranger asking about their friend a day before their friend turns up dead.

 

548 - Unicorns, unlike their mythical reputation, apparently don't care if you are a pure virginal maiden. Just as long as you aren't holding a weapon.

 

549 - Said white mutant horses also apparently have no problem bunking down with minotaurs who ARE carrying weapons.

 

550 - Only one person in all of Tamriel reacts in the slightest to a disembodied head being tossed around in front of them.

 

551 - Trapping souls for magic is good. Using human/argonian/khahjiit/orc/elven souls is bad. Conjuring those souls to do your bidding and die for you again is good.

 

552 - Bruma is a horrible place to live. Between the 'vampire hunters' the various murders, the oblivion gate, and the weather, its surprising people stay there.

 

553 - you can take a 50 pound weapon from someone when their back is turned without being noticed, but can't even put a 1/10 pound item in their pocket.

 

554 - Dead crabs float, and apparently the live ones can swim rather well despite any such capability in their real world counterparts.

 

555 - Despite the commonality of Rodents of Unusual Size, there is a distinct lack of lightning sand or fire traps.

 

556 - Apparently gods and Daedra are not enough things to worship and people still look for deities in the H.P. Lovecraft collections.

 

557 - Fighters Guild is actually code for Pest Control. Regardless of region, and according to a few npcs, newbies are always sent to deal with problems involving rats.

 

558 - People love to wear jewelry and new clothes, even if they have no idea where they got those particular items since they were asleep at the time. They also love them so much they refuse to remove them if they start experiencing pain while wearing them.

 

559 - There is no clean criminal record requirement to join the imperial legion. Go just south of the Ayleid ruins west of Bruma and you can usually witness two imperial foresters killing each other.

 

560 - Despite any living family to take care of such formalities, 4 corpses will still be hauled from all over the land up to some remote farm in the mountains for burial.

 

561 - Claudius Arcadia prays to the Dark Mother ONCE and gets a life sentence in prison and his home confiscated. You commit the actual murder and you get 10 days in jail if by some miracle you are caught.