Is chivilery dead

[JimboUK]

It's not easy to be a "Gentleman" when there are so few "Ladies" around.

[Aurielius]

It's not easy to be a "Gentleman" when there are so few "Ladies" around.

Oh Jim, all women should be treated as if they are ladies whether they are or are not....lol

[JimboUK]

It's not easy to be a "Gentleman" when there are so few "Ladies" around.

Oh Jim, all women should be treated as if they are ladies whether they are or are not....lol

 

This is true but it's not easy. Just today I held a door open for a woman only for her snatch it and give me a filthy look, she was behaving as if I'd tried to steal her purse. Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

[Lisnpuppy]

That is when I show my dimples and say..Oh you're welcome for all to hear. Usually puts some heat to their faces.

[Aurielius]

That is when I show my dimples and say..Oh you're welcome for all to hear. Usually puts some heat to their faces.

I cannot imagine anyone not holding open the door for you honeychile....even Yankees. 'bows low while taking off his hat'

[ffa1mf]

I chuckled a bit at the question asked -

Is this lowering of standards, teaching their children that in order to be a real man, you are to lay around the house, playing games, while the women work.?

 

To quote a relatively famous person:

Before the white man came, the men and boys hunted, fished, played games or competed in wrestling or foot-racing and the women gathered roots and berries, cooked and looked after the children. Somehow the white man thinks he has improved our lives.

 

Chivalry as asked by the OP is obviously asking about the chivalry of society, not the chivalry of war.

The rules of chivalry of war are found in documents such as the Geneva Convention and Hague Conferences and establish rules of combat for both combatants and non-combatants. They exist and quite clearly so.

 

Chivalry of society is primarily unwritten cultural rules or accepted customs that address courtesy, conduct, deportment and duty as a member of a society, a culture or even a class of society.

 

Chivalry of society its dead and the feminism movement killed it (not my quote, but cant remember who said it).

Before you call for me to be banned or set afire at a stake - I dont particularly agree that chivalry of society is dead or that feminism killed it, but that the rules of society have changed and are changing and the problem is no one is altogether sure what the rules are.

 

Examples;

 

Im male and driving down the highway and see a woman standing beside her car at the side of the road, appearing to be broken down in some manner. Do I stop or not stop? If I do stop, what is the type/level of assistance I should offer? If I dont stop, what should I do if anything?

 

Should a man wear a tie to work?

Should women wear knee length skirts to work?

 

Should I work or live off welfare?

 

Even something as simple as opening a door for another person may result in a rebuke (ie: I can open a door myself, I dont need anyone to open it for me), being ignored or receiving a thank you situations I have experienced and am sure others have as well. So what is the correct thing to do in any given situation?

 

To me what we observe is not a lowering of standards but a just a change in standards, and not necessarily all for the worse nor all for the better, but change that one must accept and attempt to deal with as best they can. If there is a problem that exists, its the intolerance individuals have with the changes.

Edited October 4, 2011 by ffa1mf

[Nintii]

 

......... Has more liberal views of the roles of men and women, in our society made such ideals archaic?

 

Are many of the young ladies of today excepting less responsible and less driven young men into their hearts and into their beds. If they are, is this lowering of standards, attributable to self esteem issues or are they looking more for those young men, with the bad boy image?

 

 

I have no problem with chivalry ... I actually allow the "look this is how you do it ... see ... just like this", even when I know "how to do it myself " and maybe even better as well.

I understand the "need" for a man to be a "hero " and so I don't deny him what his genes and mental make up desire.

Men are simple, not in a stupid or silly sense but in terms of their needs ... allow him to be the "man" and he will conquer the earth for you, and I say that without apology.

 

But ....

 

I don't know what it's like in your neck of the woods but here where I live, men are chauvanistic, arrogant and full of themselves, here you "pay lobola" for a woman, I don't care what you call it, I call it purchasing a "thing" that you can return if you are not satisfied with "it", and I'm not joking.

Here you kill your whole family - wife and children - if "life gets to be to much" and you don't want somone else to have them and then you kill yourself.

Here you witness some of the most brutal wife battering you will ever see in your life.

Here you have men who rape babies ... ***tards who deserve death.

 

The image of men is tarnished ... so you just hope and pray you don't get stuck with a jerk.

 

So, chivalry .... hmmm where to find a man that understands that in his strength he can be gentle ... every woman wants a hero ... so where to find a chivalrous man ?

Is it any wonder that for nine years of my life I preferred the company of a woman instead.

 

The whole "bad boy' thing is for the parents who lock away their daughters from the world, hoping that in so doing they are protecting them ... rather instill in them standards from their youth ... also, get them a role model or become one as a parent or grandparent.

[Deleted472477User]

Well, I can tell you, up until my last boyfriend I went through a stupid phase of allowing just that. Then he dumped me for someone else, and he didn't pull any of that crap on her. I suspect it was mostly her not being willing to tolerate his bs mixed with he genuinely loved her. After that mess, I went through a nearly ten year dry spell where i had no one, not even a date. I think I had an emotional backlash, and raised my standards *too* high.

 

My partner has a disability which makes it nearly impossible for her to have traditional employment, but as long as she is doing something (house work, helping with cooking, finding at-home freelance work if she wants it and so on) I feel all right with things. My ex was just a lazy ass who found himself a sucker to use, and he didn't do a damn thing.

 

Now, about chivalry...I don't need it. What I do need is common courtesy. if I am struggling to open a door with my arms full of stuff, please do open it for me. If I am on a full bus and having trouble keeping my balance while standing (I have some balance and joint pain issues when standing too long on a moving bus) offer me a seat. But don't do it just because I am female.

[Nintii]

@ Nyxalinth ...

 

Yup, somehow we get suckered by their BS and because of either wanting the creep we either compromise or knowingly - yet we hide this under layers of deliberate denial - allow ourselves to become their stooge.

I mean every bone in our body is screaming run but MR MR (with our help) keeps us in place ... why have we become so desperate ? ... I reckon it's just part of our make-up, like lemmings running off the cliff we want to be wanted

and walk into the trap even when we see it being layed right in front of our eyes.

 

Also from what you and I and many others have discovered is that common courtesy isn't so common.

It's the simple things that count ... pick up your clothes ... you know i'm going to work in this room so don't clog it up with junk ... put the dishes in the sink ... you know my parents or family are coming over so at least have a shave and put on some

anti-perspirant and don't just sit there watching TV get off your arse and help me ... that's chivalrous ... here's a broom, slay the dragon of dirt on the floor ... would you please !

 

I had a girlfriend that had dyslexia it wasn't easy but at least we had honesty and respect for each other ... if she did'nt have to go home which was in another country I suppose we'd still be together.

[marharth]

I will post something simple.

 

1. To reply to the war part of it, I find it illogical to be "nice" in war. If your trying to win a war, do the best things to win a war, even if it violates a honor code. (I don't think this topic is about that though)

 

2. If this is about societies view on men/women, I believe that they would be treated equally. Not going to be nice to a women simply because she is a women.