Ben and the Pocket Adventures.

[Keanumoreira]

Thanks guys. I'll get started on the first part and get it out of the works as soon as possible. :D Edited January 5, 2013 by Keanumoreira

[Ithildin]

This piece is haunting, gothic, at times literally chilling. You have a marvelous imagination, and I'm happy to know that more is coming. Hmm ... seems odd to move from "haunting" to "happy", but I enjoy heavier prose (Tolkien, the Brontës, Poe, Dickens, Stoker, Shelley, the immortal bard). Some of the finest stories ever written have come from places of darkness and despair.

 

Fantastic work!

[Keanumoreira]

Thank you very much Ithildin. This took many weeks of frustration and calculated patience to compose. I like where it's going though. Many of my writings are often left unfinished, but I have a really good feeling about this one. I've said this many times in the past, but this might be the one I actually complete. I feel kinda excited to get back to it to tell you the truth.

 

I LOVE Edgar Allen Poe. He is the best dark writer in all of human history. I have a passion for writing like this, so he's my main inspiration. I've read a few pieces from Shelly, but not much to tell you the truth.

[SilverDNA]

The simplyfied rythm of the stanzas makes it catchy. The words are well chosen and bend into the winter setting. Some of the later stanzas remind me of poems of E. A. Poe.

Well done Dark Keanu! :biggrin:

I like it. :thumbsup:

[Keanumoreira]

Thanks Uncle. *Hugs*. It's great to be appreciated. :biggrin:

[Maharg67]

Excellent! :thumbsup:

[Keanumoreira]

Sneak Peak:

 

 

 

Part one: The Door in the Floor

 

 

Banners of red and noble green,

Swell to the sounds of a war machine;

As pots and pans and silvery spoons,

Drum beneath the sombering moon.

 

Pickets of Iron-- pockets of knives--

Angry men and furious wives--

Chanting with vigor beside the sea;

They form together a canopy--

 

Of smoke and fire near and far;

Enough to taint the saintly stars.

Looming outside that ghastly lair;

The sounds of chanting pierced the air:

 

"Pa-vil-li-on--pa-vil-li-on,

Rib-bons-of-fire-a-mil-li-on;

Wrath-of-Hades-come-to-Droom,

And-seat-this-boy-upon-thy-throne!"

 

" 'Seat this boy upon thy throne'?!"

Kindness this one has never known!

What an honor, such a surprise;

But is it worth the king's demise?"

 

Troubled our hero on such a matter,

As the crowd continued--louder and louder;

And indeed his thoughts were blind to all,

Atop their shoulders--amist their calls:

 

"Pa-vil-li-on--pa-vil-li-on,

White-as-ash-and-black-as-sin!

Our-walls-of-fire--our folds of smoke;

Upon-this-may-you-writhe-and-choke!"

 

"Oh dearest me, oh dearest my;

Heaven tell me--oh tell me why--

What, oh what, has my king hath done;

What, my lord, hath you become?"

 

Worry now fell as the evening closed,

"Tis will pass" he calmly supposed.

But Ben was wrong; they were on their way--

It was the king they sought to slay.

 

But it was most odd--these fallow fears--

To fall upon such stubborn ears;

For time after time, without a choice,

Passed the being of his voice.

 

And no one, it seemed, had taken notice--

Perfumed in scents--this little Lotus,

That he held in frontal space,

Upon, there which, there was no face!

 

 

 

The Pocket Guide:

 

1. Perfumed....lotus: In Greek mythology, it is said that the Lotus flower induces a state of forgetfulness.

 

Edited February 20, 2013 by Keanumoreira