copin with skyrim addiction

[cybill]

a few years ago i lost 80 hours in Fallout 3 over a period of about 2 weeks. i was in an unhappy relationship, it was christmas time (which i hate) so not much work (i'm self employed) so losin it all to explorin the wasteland was heaven. then i kinda got bored and that was that. since then my gamin habits have been on battlefield...quick pleasure for a couple hours a day - not too disruptive.

 

new year 2012 (so not the christmas addiction this time round) i had work this season and was kept very busy completin that. it was well paid too so have a little time with no financial stress afterwards and thought..

 

"sod it i'll get skyrim."

 

in the game shop with my wonderful girlfriend who is sayin things like -

 

"you deserve it...go on you've worked hard - you know...treat yourself..its only £30"

 

i wonder if it starts the same for so many.

 

one month later...2 characters.

 

the first was a big big mess...said yes to everythin, fast travelled all over the place always emcumbered, obssessed with just doin everythin...100 hours.

 

the second was a tighter story just followed one quest line at at a time...made myself up a nice mage/thief elf. 30 hours later hadn't even started the main quest line. and when 2 quests conflicted at whiterun discovered the main quest line would not start and that was that - sure i could just arse around doin other stuff but i'd never receive my dragon shout - i would never really see what else was in line for me - yet amazingly this game would still have 100's of hour of gameplay left for this character.

 

OK i thought...maybe start a third character. really get it right this time...keep my eye on the mainquest line. look after my save files...pick what mods to use and not mess with them too much.

 

this was last night at about 1 am. i had made this 2nd character in the past few days and yet had put in 30 plus hours.

 

i have not worked in a fortnight, i have ignored my pets, i have ignored my (quite frankly very sexually frustrated) girlfriend. i have ignored my friends, my exercise, my diet.

 

i have ignored my life.

 

i was makin iron daggers to up my smithin and thinkin that this is what i should be doin in reallife...you know doin stuff to gain XP? i was lookin at my real life like it was the video game...because lets be honest. skyrim is safe and it is beautiful - RL is frightenin.

 

i had just taken a pipe so decided go to bed, mull it over, watch a film get up next day and restart my life again.

 

i type this while i wait for a bus to take me to the city for the weekend (RL's fast travel).

 

so why do i type this?

 

is it because my first reaction was

 

" i wonder if their is a way to transport my character to a brand new virgin storyline?"

 

(which i am still curious about though i am very aware at how dangerous this is...so if any have read this far and care enough to link me to a way to do that i'd be grateful)

 

or is it because my second reaction was...sod it i'm just goin start all over again!

 

i can't trust myself to just do one quest a day...to limit myself to 2 hours a day. have you any idea how long it would take to get anythin done?

 

i am hopelessly addicted to skyrim. i was dreamin about it every night and playin it every day as much as i could get away with (although day and night became just a blur...sleep was just like pressin the T button)

 

Thankyou sincerely to all the modders out there who make a beautiful game beautiful.

 

i guess my question is this -

 

is there any here who have successfully balanced skyrim into RL?

[Guern]

it is tough. I have a wife and kid and a job (none of which I've lost since I started playing, thankfully) but you make a good point. Sometimes I think the game is -too- immersive and broad; does it really need to be that big? you're absolutely right that 2hrs a day feels like it's almost not worth turning the thing on when you can spend 20-30 minutes (real ones, not those Skyrim minutes) just mixing up a bunch of potions. imagine that were your Skyrim ration for the day(!)

 

there is also definitely truth in using a game like this as an avoidance mechanism; it's escapism. RL does suck, lot of the time, imo :) But what you said about exercise is getting close to what we need...just a bit more discipline and balance. We should treat Skyrim as a reward and let ourselves earn it after doing something else. come up with some loose ratios: 30 minutes on the bike/elliptical = 60 minutes of Skyrim. or to make it a cheesy marketing phrase for yourself "half hour at the gym means an hour of the 'Rim" ok maybe that one needs work.

 

It's also tough even if you successfully ration your time because you see endless posts of people who reached level 100 on November 19 (or whatever) and are already working on their 7th battlemagebardcromaner. But you have to ignore those because think of it, you're farther along in RL with a few things that other person isn't even near. Sadly no one's posting much in the 'I have a degree and a job' forums.

 

Games are so immersive now I think we do need to actively discipline ourselves to some degree. You've seen those stories out of South Korea. And I think that (at least in my case) we can sometimes use the game as an avoidance mechanism when really there's something we should just face and tackle. Of course, it's easy to type this rather than do it. But it reminds me of doing the dishes (not using a dishwasher..actual doing the dishes)...it's a pain in the ass to start the job but once you're doing it and especially when you're done you think "ok that wasn't too bad and now look at me, i'm a productive member of society!" baby steps.

 

I've had bouts of depression..I wonder how many people who get addicted to games are escaping or avoiding things. Something tells me the ratio could be rather high. :unsure:

[babis8142]

I was and was about to be again where you guys are now. 2 years earlier CoD MW2 had just came out and half a year later I had 400 hours of gameplay. I eventually realized what this was doing to me; that game was stressful. I was getting mad quite a lot, I had abandoned my studies and since I have no work and my parents where providing me with money (yes I'm ashamed about it I'm 25 lol) and I had a lot of spare time for it. Anyway then I slowed down and I got to not playing or playing one or two hours a day. My studies started going well again. A few years ago same thing happened with Oblivion. I was playing way too much and unfortunately I didn't see it. I had almost abandoned my studies (I successfully passed 4 classes in 2 years when it should be 5 in a semester) and I only stopped when I had enough of the game. Now after all this it's starting again with Skyrim. I have over 200 hours so far but fortunately I have 3 courses for my studies left so I can afford to play more this time. But still I resist playing 6 hours or more every day and abandoning those 3 classes for next semester and I actually study and play not more than 2 hours every day. It's enough time for me to study and enough time to play. Only thing is that I don't go out much but oh well, I can't have everything. I don't know about you guys but I have seen what games can do to me and have done to me in the past.

[ToMuchForYa]

Hey it's tough but I managed to get Skyrim through my RL, Ive been in your boots the first week of Skyrim I was hooked but I was still going out and doing things and going to work, The second week I was home all day ignored about everyone that texted or called me and I took a 3 day off of work.

I'm a huge RPG gamer I love MMO's and everything, But sometimes you just gotta think what your doing to your self, I mean their is a another whole world out their out side of video gaming.

So I actually made my self a schedule, I bought a cheap decent size white board that had the calendar lines already made on it, And I marked what I was going to do every day. I wake up at 6am go to work and get off at 5:30pm and I drive straight to the gym tell 8 or 9 depends what I'm doing at the gym that day, I go home take care of what ever I'm doing at home then game for 2 hours then, repeat..

But on weekends I don't game I'm with my friends on the weekend so I don't completely lose my social life. I have a day off work right now so I enjoy my time gaming for a little bit and checking out forums. But I actually don't game as much as I used too back then, it feels kinda good.

[Dubnoman]

My advice to you is to really think hard about these things and discipline yourself to take care of important real life things first and not have Skyrim as primary in your life. I think Skyrim is a really good game, but you have to focus on these important real life things first. Period.

 

Your girlfriend whom you said is great? Spend more time with her. Don't take her for granted; not one bit. Reduce the time spent on Skyrim significantly, and spend more time with your wonderful girlfriend and your job. That is the other very important thing. Do put more effort and time into your job. The last thing you want is to jeopardize or even lose your source of income and means to support yourself over a video game. And do take better care of your pets. They depend on you and need you to take care of them throughout the day, every day.

 

I know Skyrim is a good game that is addicting, but you really have to change things drastically and put your important things in life first and Skyrim after those things. If you don't, in due time, you could lose some important things (like your job and girlfriend) all because you didn't enforce some proper discipline in your life, and then you'll really be feeling bad, causing undue suffering for yourself. This post is stern in nature, but I'm only trying to give you good advice. You can still play and enjoy the game, you just have to get your priorities straight. It is better to get your priorities straight sooner than later. You don't want your addiction to this game to spiral out of control (which does happen to some people with video games sometimes). Nip this problem in the bud before you are really regretting you didn't just exercise some proper restraint and discipline earlier on.

[thompsonar]

What everyone else said is exactly right. I'll tell you how I do it. I have a job, girlfriend (who I live with), and a 1 and a half year old. I generally play the game maybe an hour a night (or sometimes not at all) during the week and maybe 2-3 on Saturday (while my gf is at work and my son is napping).

 

If my girlfriend wants to watch some tv show that I can't stand I go and play skyrim while she watches. That's pretty much the only time I'll play during the week. It's difficult because as you said you can't really accomplish much in that amount of time. This is where I will use fast travel a lot just to get a quest or two done so I feel like I got somewhere. But that gets old too so sometimes I just run around for an hour and see what I can discover, sometimes it's nothing and that sucks. Mods like wars in skyrim help with this because even though I may be wandering aimlessly and not finding anything at least I've had a couple good fights. Sometimes I spend the whole hour selling loot and organizing my houses, or just smithing stuff.

 

Honestly playing the game this way isn't so bad. I haven't finished the main quest yet at all and haven't done a few other major story lines. The way I see it though it's keeping the game entertaining longer. I'll still be playing and enjoying the game a year from now whereas many people on these forums have played over 300 hours through many characters and all they can talk about is how boring the game is now.

[cybill]

wow...thanks for all the responses.

 

to be honest i am a little surprised at the amount of sympathy and well considered advice here.

 

thanks dubnoman. everythin you say is very true - i am at my girlfriends now and we have discussed the issue...she is even surprised to discover the time i have lost here (which is miminal...one month maybe) and has told me stories from her forums of men bein chucked over skyrim. she didn't even realise i had gone so deep...it amazes how easy it is to hide somethin like this.

 

i have always considered a druglike element to games (i have gamed since '84) but somethin i have always managed...sure i can poiny myfinger at goldeneye for failin my degree but really the finger is pointed at me. with skyrim i feel it is the first time an individual game can be described as havin drug like properties. this can be argued against, i am sure, with other games but at least for me it is the first time i have been so unbelievely lost.

 

So my test will be sunday night when i am next at my computer. my mission will be to spend a whole day on monday workin on my business - my living.

 

I hope i can somehow revisit skyrim someday...in a responsible manner...one quest a time. it really is beautiful

 

EDIT - to Thompsonar. this is it...what i loved about FO3 and skyrim is just explorin...soon i'll be able to treat myself - do a paintin,play some skyrim, do some puppets,play some skyrim, do my...well won't go there

Edited February 17, 2012 by cybill

[Dubnoman]

Tell us how things go for you in the coming week. Maybe sharing with us how you've managed your priorities can be useful. If you end up playing more than you should, we can continue to give positive encouragement to manage your priorities better. You can still play the game sometimes and enjoy the game, but we just want you to take our advice and make sure your important duties and real life relationships take precedence over this game and any video game. Edited February 17, 2012 by Dubnoman

[Guern]

yeah and as a corollary to what others have said..summing up: don't worry about your rate of progress in Skyrim, since you can always load a saved game and start from there, weeks after ignoring it. But you can't really say the same for your job, significant other, rent check etc.

[MorwynKelm]

In RL? I like sex. And pizza. Girls. Yes, girls. Lots of things.

 

Any of those "pleasures" quickly become 'unfun' if I spend all day, every day doing it. Make time for them and be strict with yourself about it. Make Friday night your "Skyrim" night, you'll enjoy it far more and look forward to it.