Got any suggestions?

[Werne]

With all the economical problems going on here (prices went sky-high and salaries went down by nearly a half) I have been under a great deal of pressure for almost a year. The positive thing is that I'm seeing a psychiatrist so my mind is at ease a bit, but since my situation is not going to get better any soon I've been feeling worse and worse every day.

 

And here are my problems:

 

The first problem is, I'm suicidal. Have been for almost ten years and since the first time I tried to kill myself, not a day goes by without me thinking about suicide. My girfriend is keeping me calm so don't worry, I won't kill myself, it would hurt her feelings.

 

Another problem is, I have PTSD so I have trouble sleeping at night. I'm either awake and rolling around the bed or I'm having very disturbing nightmares. I sleep aproximately 30-40 hours a month, basically an hour a day, mostly because one night I woke up to see my girlfriend crying because I sqeezed her arm so bad she had a bruise for a month. I felt so bad that I couldn't look her in the eyes for a while. Although she told me it's all right and that she doesn't mind, I just felt bad. So now I mostly force myself to stay awake at night because I'm afraid I might hurt her.

 

The third problem is, I have constant migraines. The doctors don't know what's causing them. They even removed the bullet from my spine, they thought that was the cause but it wasn't. Since they couldn't find any phisical problems, they and are now thinking it could be a psychological disorder. The non-stop headaches and nausea make me very tense and nervous. And it makes my girlfrend nervous so I feel even worse.

 

And the worst of all is, all these problems I have affect my girfriend as well, I can feel it in her voice and see it in her eyes and it drives me crazy. She is the only thing keeping me relatively sane, and the only person I care about. I tried to hide all these problems from her but I failed, a few days ago she realized something is bothering me so I explained all this to her. When she realized I kept all this for myself just so she doesn't have to worry, she calmed down but I can still feel she's a bit nervous.

 

Anyway, I consulted my psychiatrist about how to get my mind off these problems and he suggested getting a hobby. That was more than half a year ago when I started to make 3D models, along with hunting, making wooden ship models, getting more bikes to fix, anything that can make me stop thinking. And right now, that doesn't help as much as it did anymore so do you guys have any suggestions on how to distract my mind? I really need that, without the distractions my brain isn't working as good as it used to and I need to relax. And by the way, does anyone know of any good pills for relieving pain? I need to stop these headaches, they're killing me.

[Flintlockecole]

I used these for a good while for headaches and the like. For the squeezing part, find a stiff pillow or something like such. Pretty much same situation your in, just don't go for the hard stuff.

[SimpleGlitch]

well as far as distracting your mind, maybe a for of meditation (I hate using that word because I feel like most people picture a monk guy sitting cross legged on the floor). Essentially what it is is learning to focus your thoughts, and evaluate them.

 

I've suffered from depression as well, since day 1. The doctors diagnosed it when I was in middle school and gave me pills but I took them for two year before I quit because they started to make me really nauseous at night and make my mind really fuzzy. During this same time are started martial arts which helped a lot, the exercise gave me something to work the feelings out.

 

The mental disciplined from martial arts is actually what helps me now with my depression. I started to notice that the thoughts caused be depression had this "feeling" with them, like someone poured ice-cold water into my veins. After a while I learned to seperate my "real" thoughts from thoughts caused by depression. I know PTSD is a lot different and more sever than what I dealt with but maybe it works on that too?

 

As for the migraines they could be a verity of different things, stress, diet, illness. I usually get migraines from too much caffeine and sudden pressure changes outside (like when a storm front moves in). I also have a friend who gets migraines from eating food with soy in it (from just a little bit, her's can last up to a week from one exposure).

 

I know you've probably had someone recommend support groups alread, but its never a bad idea. Networking with people who are under the same surcomstance may provide some answers and hopely some solutions.

 

Finally, You probably already do, but make sure you tell the girlfriend how much you appriate her support. She obviously cares greatly for you, and though she doesn't want to see you in pain, she doesn't want to lose you or have you suffer your burden alone.

 

Never forget you always have a hugh communty of people here you can always talk to :thumbsup:

[Thor.]

You know what, stick to gaming. trust me it works when the times are tough. they say gamers Don't usually suffer from Depression because they take it out in games, usually for relaxation and stuff, especially with todays society its not uncommon to feel depressed and stressed out. Well life is hard these days. What I'm trying to say is your not the only one.

 

The cbc had a documentary about it not to long ago. Can't find it on youtube..

 

Anxiety leads to depression

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rShmU0nT_s0

Edited April 5, 2012 by Thor.

[Sarissi]

Meditation has a Therapy side or aspect, and you do not need to be in any special physical posture. It is a mental practice of quieting your mind and emotions. The result is that your emotions become balanced and positive.

 

Your lack of Sleep Paralysis is a problem and known medical condition.

 

Your constant Migraines may not be standard migraines at all.

 

1. Pinched nerve in your neck. (the least dangerous)

 

2. Brain Tumor. (next most dangerous)

 

I am probably going to butcher the spelling:

 

3. Basil Annular Artery Aneurysm. The focus of your pain is BEHIND your eyes. This is the most dangerous of all!

[RitualBlack]

Have you tried snorkeling in a lake? It is very relaxing, plus observing the plant and marine life should take your mind off of things. You and your girlfriend could both buy a snorkel set and go together. It is always exiting to see a large fish swim underneath you and if you stay out for a few hours between the cold of a lake and muscle fatigue you may be able to get a good night sleep. You could only really do it in the summer and it wouldn't be a long term solution but it might be worth a try.

[HeyYou]

Martial arts sounds like a good avenue to me. Lots of plusses there.

 

Either that, or long-distance running...... might help you sleep at night as well.

[dunmermaiden]

Previous Topic

 

I really hate to point this out but I thought you were off fighting the war in Afghanistan?

 

I mean it's great you're still here and in one piece but now saying you've been suicidal for 10 years. I mean WTF is the military doing having a suicidal sergeant leading a team of noobs?

 

Just sounds like a load of codswollap to me mate.

 

I know for a fact the army navy and airforce in NZ do not allow people with mental instabilitys or any disability or illness or condition fighting.

 

I would have thought the same would be aplicable to the USA armed forces.

[Deleted472477User]

I get migraines on occasion. If you haven't already tried it, caffeine and chocolate are helpful. Watch your precursors. for me, it's either a pressure, imaginary smells, or sometimes a bad sneezing fit oddly enough. I get mine over my right eye, sometimes the left. Once it kicks in, all I can do is take something, lie down, and pull the blankets up.

[Werne]

@Flintlockecole I already tried to put a pillow but one night I tore it apart during one of my nightmares. That's one of the reasons I'm afraid to fall asleep, I have absolutely no control over my body. Though these things tend to happen when I'm awake as well, I just lose control, I can think and I can see what I'm doing but I can't stop myself. It scares the hell out of me, imagine what I can do to a human being while I'm in that state.

 

@SimpleGlitch Well, I really need to take pills, otherwise I'd probably kill someone. The pills I take help me control myself, without them I tend to snap at little things, like breaking a guy's arm because he tried to cross the line in the supermarket.

 

The martial arts, I'm trained in unarmed combat, but in my training, killing an opponent silently in a few moves is a preferable option. What can I say, military training. And I'm afraid to increase that skill further, mostly due to lack of self-control.

 

Also, I show my appretiation to her, every day. I know she doesn't want me to suffer alone but I don't want her to suffer at all.

 

@Thor. Gaming, not a chance. Yes,people say gamers don't suffer from depression but they also say gamers are withdrawn from society, living in their own world. I don't want to become like that, plus with my headaches I'm lucky to play a game for an hour.

 

@Sarissi Meditation is a good idea, it might help. I never actually considered meditating though, seeing those bald budist monks in the funny robes, but it could actually help. I might as well try.

 

And my doctor advised me to get some sleep, he said that might be connected to the migraines. I'll try and see, I just need to try not to choke on these huge sleeping pills he gave me.

 

@BeyondTom I love diving, and the sea is 100 meters from my apartment. I used to go diving with my girlfriend in summer, especially liked playing around with the big clams, we call the clam "Lustura", it's around a meter in diameter and when you throw a rock in it, it closes pretty fast. And I really like fishing, that calms me down as well, though I haven't gone fishing for more than 2 years.

 

@HeyYou I used to run, but that just made me tense so I quit.

 

@dunmermaiden Yeah, I was in Afghan, got back because I stepped on a landmine. Luckily it was a crappy old soviet landmine so it didn't do much damage. And by the way, I have no connection to the US Army at all, except assisting their troops when needed. I serve in the Croatian army, you have no idea how many people are here that are more insane than me but they have higher ranks. I don't lead "a team of noobs", if you actually read the thread you posted you'd see I'm commanding guys I served with last year.

 

Croatian laws are a bit different than yours, as long as I pass physical tests and they can confirm I can give orders and operate perfectly under pressure, I'm fine. They don't care much for psychological problems, as long as you don't start killing civilians or friendly soldiers.

 

@nyxalinth Migraines are weird, only a part of my head hurts, and the pain moves, one moment the front left part of my head hurts and an hour later the back of my head hurts. Painkillers help a bit, but it still hurts and it occasionally stops for a minute or two, enough to pull myself together before it starts again. Also, sometimes the headaches make me feel like I'm going to throw up but I don't, I just feel that way.

 

And the funny thing is, a few weeks ago I slammed the desk with the back of my head (I was looking for something on the floor) and the pain just stopped, like someone came and turned it off. It didn't bother me for a few days then it came back. But I still can't figure out why did that stop the pain in the first place.