Tamujiin Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Okay guys i am in big trouble as you will figure out. I have an exwife, we got married when we were 19 years old. loved each other to death and had no money. When you have no money it leads to arguments and eventually divorce. So.........we grew up, had a few kids with our second husband/wife. And we have money now. We have dicscussed this for about 1 month and have both come to the conclusion we were dumb ass children, didnt know poo about the world and were just lusting after each other. But, we have both realized we still love each other. And we have been " spending time " together. We both want each other back, but it isnt gonna happen anytime soon....... What do you guys think..........Soulmates or just horny? I'll explain better later as i cant divulge to much information right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sativarg Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Okay guys i am in big trouble as you will figure out. I have an Xwife, we got married when we were 19 years old. loved each other to death and had no money. When you have no money it leads to arguments and eventually divorce. So.........we grew up, had a few kids with our second husband/wife. And we have money now. We have discussed this for about 1 month and have both come to the conclusion we were dumb ass children, didn't know S-hit about the world and were just lusting after each other. But, we have both realized we still love each other. And we have been " spending time " together. We both want each other back, but it isnt gonna happen anytime soon....... What do you guys think..........Soul mates or just horny? I'll explain better later as i cant divulge to much information right now.You have life in those children.You are that life and you need to put them first.There is time for your love. But now you must be true to the life you created and be patient.Be honest with your spouses.Both of your families can be together if you try very hard and act according to truth.Or you can wait until your children are say 14 15. You need to put yourselves into your children's lives and see what could happen if things go very wrong.search your hearts for any flaws in any plans you might have now and be very careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macmert Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Forget her, focus on your family... You are just trying to get back to the old days that s it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delphinus Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I'm terrorized when i hear the word "marriage" and i'm even more scared when i hear that people marry so young. I know it's useless to talk about your past, but can't you both just be together without a freaking marriage? and why in the heck did you marry a second wife if you knew that you still love your first one? I know that i'm the one who's strange, but it seems just surreal to me :turned: By the way, i think love comes before everything, so get back to your ex, but probably your kids (another surreal point... you were capable of making kids with a girl knowing you love another one) will be a bit annoyed of the situation, and it will be a VERY VERY unpleasant thing for your current wife. Get back to her, but before you do that, please bash your head against a reinforced concrete wall, until it breaks. (the wall, not your head) :wallbash: :wallbash: :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macmert Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 In fact it is not my place to say anything about this situation, because it is your life and you should do what you want, but there is something you should consider, the ripple effect, your actions will not only change your life, it will change many lives, your second wife, your kids, your fomer wife's husband, their kids, your friends neighbors and have to admit, you can not act irrisponsibly, many lives connected to your own, I mean you have kids and that is how you will be an example to them, act based on your emotions and leave your family behind? How will they see that? Will your children say "Yea dad did the right thing, he had to go for the true love even that means a shattered family and kids with problems..." How will your former wife's husband react? They have a family too... Well the thing is if I was that guy I would hunt you down man :D think thrice before you act and never treat marriage as something insginificant and unimportant, you swore an oath to love and protect your wife so honor it, dont ruin it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chesto Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Ein...im not here by the way...forgot to log off, so as i had to come back to turn off the lights... ...it is not that uncommon a problem. It would seem that you are disatisfied with your present life, and i do mean life, not just the woman you happen to be married to at the mo. Or...i could be wrong. Only thing i know is that where children are involved, they know when things arent right with their parents. They feel the unease that permeates the very air they breathe. People do advocate staying ' together' for the children. I dont buy it myself. You have to decide, weigh things up, and decide whether what you will do, what ever it is, will cause the greatest harm for all involved, or the greatest good. Its a tough one. I wish you well in what ever you decide. Take time to make this decision... 'cause this aint no save game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macmert Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 I wish this was a rhetorical debate and we wouldnt have to talk over someone's desicion... But it is not and whatever desicion he would make, this will change many lives of many people, either good or bad... To say the truth I am glad I am not the one making this desicion, like Chesto said, good luck mate, hope you dont regret your choice... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carah Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Only you know what is right, and as long as you follow your heart. It will all work out in the end. If your worried that it might be lust, and everything that falls with it. Then you need to take it slow. Of course you are going to still love her, she is the mother of your children, and basically the fisrt serious relationship, am I right? I will always love my ex-husband, because he is the first man I married, the father of my one and only child, and he is still and always will be crazy about me. I just know we are not soulmates, and I do believe in soulmates, or atleast someone who fits you like a glove. I wish you all the best Ein., and we care about you here, and would hate to see you get hurt. Be true to your feelings, and don't rush into things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaysus Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 well that whole situation involves a whole lot of unpleasant talks... it depends a bit on how old your kids are now id say... basicly go back to your ex if there is a way... but make sure you keep a good relation with your current wife so that you can look after your kids, preferably on a daily basis... had the same poo going with my parents and didnt see my father for fricking 4 yrs with my mom telling me lies and stuff... i bet it was kinda hard for him too (he lurked around our house just to get a glimpse at me for example) but imagine how hard it is for the kids... i never got related to my step father as a real one... and since i never had the chance to get close to my father until much later i basicly had no father...so the decision is yours... either follow your heart and go your way or stay with your family and sacrifice your life for theirs... whatever you do dont think too long... a samurai has to be able to make his descision in between 7 breath or they will turn out to be wrong... well dont do that while your drunk of course lol... and ya there are soulmates for sure but the question remains if the circumstances allow for a unity of them... ask yourself: will the kids understand? how will it affect them? will my wife accept it? will i be able to coop with the loss of a soulmate in my present situation? will that affect my family life? will i really be happier if i turn back? and give a poo bout neighbours lol thats not the us (well i hope so :P)... your family and you are all that counts viel glück Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dezdimona Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 most everyone has given you good information,only you really know the feelings of your heart.I believe in a soul mates. Love for some is a binding of everything that makes them who they are.It also contains acceptance.That you accept the other person for whom they are and that includes their faults( because we all have those),you don't try to change them,change comes from within and can never be forced upon someone.You have children,and yes they need loving and caring parents,whether your married or not.I know from personal experience what its like,I lost both my parents at a very early age,and there isn't a day that goes by that I wish I still had them.Love them deeply and truely for they were part of your love for your ex-wife and they should never suffer for bad decisions or mistakes made on your part or hers.You've grown up thats easy to see,think with your head and your heart,not your sex organ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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