Iv000 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 You sound like a perfect mom in a perfect family :biggrin: Hmm now that I think about it, I'm a bit different than the rest of my family.My dad, my half-brother, my mom, aunt...basically everybody in my family works in business or engineering, also granddad is a doctor, grandma was a professor. I seem to be the only one that moves away from the tradition and goes the artistic kind of way (Game design and/or graphic design right now). I'm a strange kid it seems. I feel like I see the world differently than everybody else I know IRL. Not sure what else to write, I feel more and more confused the more I think about this left/right brain functions thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naomis8329 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Bless ya honey. We're far from perfect and I wish we were. We have good days and bad days and like every other family have to work at it. You are an exception to the rule and maybe that rule needs a new codicil added to it :D Everyone has their niche in life and you've found yours. Why make yourself unhappy doing what everyone else wants in life when, at the end of the day, its what makes you happy that will ultimately make your family happy. When one of my daughter's came out of the closet and told me she liked girls, she expected me to get mad especially after we'd called off a wedding etc etc etc. I'd been expecting it to be honest and it made me feel better that she had admitted the truth of the situation to herself. She now has a wonderful girlfriend and she's absolutely besotted (as is her partner with her). She made the decision to be true to herself and not worry about what others thought and in doing so is now very happy. She thought she needed to conform but in doing that became depressed and very unhappy with life. She is a beautiful young woman who has her whole life in front of her and I couldn't be prouder of her. Yes I would like grand kids and I'd love to see her in a stable job doing the norm like everyone else, but if I get grand kids that's a plus, when she gets her masseur's qualifications she can work when and where she likes and she'll be good at it. She's badly dyslexic and has trouble with strong light so working in normal environments is not what she can do. She's found her niche in life and will excel at it just as you will once you find yours. Go for your dream, excel in everything you put your mind to and your family will see you for who you are, not what they picture you to be :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keanumoreira Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 Maybe I should interject here a moment with some historical fact. Years ago and I'm talking about centuries, being left handed was the sign of the evil, possession, the devil and these people were often put to death as witches or the like. As the years passed it became illegal to burn people at the stake out hand if you will so the church and educational establishments decided that left handed children had to be "re-educated" into using their right hands. Corporal punishment was implemented in the majority of institutions and any child using their left hand predominantly, would feel a ruler or cane across the offending appendage. As science evolved and the brain was examined and eventually we began to understand how the right and left sides of the brain worked, it became illegal in the majority of "civilised" countries for children to be forced into changing hands. We became aware of the creativity and logical issues that arose with the brain and how the more creative (and I hate to say it, geniuses) people would write with their left hands rather than their right. It usually indicated that both sides of the brain were used simultaneously and a number of lefties could actually use both hands equally well. On saying this not all lefties are geniuses but they do, oft times, have a higher creativity centre and are usually gifted in one or two areas that us righties find difficult to master eg maths, science, art etc etc etc. Autistics for example are savants, they are geniuses locked within their own minds. The majority of severely autistic children/adults have an area in which they excel eg drawing, maths, computers. Mainly visual interests but they will fixate upon it and if they could communicate properly I would love to know what they though of "us" as a species. I may be wrong but to me it shows that yes, over the years schools and other organisations did kill or try to eliminate creativity in some areas and in some children. I'm just glad that we have come a long way since then and that children are recognised as they're own true selves and encouraged rather than discouraged to grow. Your thoughts please ... Nothing really to add to be honest. I agree completely and have understood the strange phobia of lefties in our earlier history. And to think, I would be considered a witch in those days. *Kisses left hand*. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iv000 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 (edited) She's found her niche in life and will excel at it just as you will once you find yours. Go for your dream, excel in everything you put your mind to and your family will see you for who you are, not what they picture you to be. You never cease to inspire and motivate me :biggrin: I will do that, sooner or later. :happy: When one of my daughter's came out of the closet and told me she liked girls, she expected me to get mad especially after we'd called off a wedding etc etc etc. I'd been expecting it to be honest and it made me feel better that she had admitted the truth of the situation to herself. She now has a wonderful girlfriend and she's absolutely besotted (as is her partner with her). She made the decision to be true to herself and not worry about what others thought and in doing so is now very happy. She thought she needed to conform but in doing that became depressed and very unhappy with life. She is a beautiful young woman who has her whole life in front of her and I couldn't be prouder of her. That could be another factor on why I'm unsure and anxious.I only told my parents and a small group of friends. I still feel bad about it, 53% of the country is homophobic and I don't feel safe or free. It's putting a heavy weight on my chest, being in the closet is frustrating and really stressful and I'm afraid to tell anyone else. I'm fine on the internet, mostly because I talk with people like you who are intelligent and understanding. I have no problem telling a stranger on the internet that I'm gay, but I'm afraid telling my closest friend IRL. I don't want to loose friends, neither do I want a negative picture of me in public. But I can't do much about that now can I? Edited August 19, 2012 by Iv000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naomis8329 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I could give platitudes about the Western block countries being more open minded and having accepted the new way of things, and that the Eastern block countries are still fledglings, coming to terms with the new world order etc etc etc, but I wont because I'm not sure it has anything to do with it. It still boils down to what is taught and believed and how it is passed from generation to generation. Britain and the US used to have laws outlawing same sex relationships and different colour relationships (I'm now sure if I'm being PC there but what the hell). It was a god damn awful time and took a great deal of hardship by many people to get the laws changed. Even so the law may accept the different relationships and marriages or civil partnerships, but still people don't. There will always be those that discriminate and point the finger and make those who do not conform to the "norm" feel dirty, unclean, or however else you wish to put it. In my honest opinion, educators and parents must accept responsibility for and teach tolerance of others, we can't blame each other, we are all to blame for the discriminations in the world today. We must stop looking at the past and using it as a crutch as to why we are who we are and why we are bitter with our lot. We must learn from the injustices of the past, become better people and teach the next generations to learn from these mistakes, how to use them constructively and move on to become better people of the future. I wish I could say that you will be accepted for who you are and that you should be unafraid to admit to your friends what you are, but I can't. All I can say is those friends who truly love and care for you wont give a hoot about your sexuality, they will accept it. You may lose other friends because of their inbred prejudices and their inability to understand you, but that will be their loss. You can choose who you tell and be comfortable with that choice and not tell others, but inevitably you will be living a lie which you will then dread coming out. You must choose your time to come clean and hope for the best or wait till you are older and can relocate to somewhere more open about your situation. Gosh its hard honey, and I will be here for you should you need to vent. I'll support you if I can and encourage you every step of the way. Never loose heart or faith in yourself, you are a wonderful young person who deserves the very best that life can offer you <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzerfong Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 @ lv000: That's the point, it's confusing. It's not so much sarcasm as the emphasis on humility, but to foreigners, it seems a bit strange. Hence why we don't do it around people who might take it the wrong way. @ naomis8329: Good point: at most, I could use history to avoid screwing up in similar scenarios. However, my prejudices (more like my indifference) at political stances, like my opinion on same-sex relationships (I couldn't care less if you're a homosexual, but please don't badger me about your fight) often incurs strange looks at me. To me, that's the mark of a strong (but not necessarily good) education: one that sticks to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iv000 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 Thank you naomis *hugs*But no pressure, I don't want you to worry about me. I'll accept your offer and if I'll need to talk a bit I'll send you a message, but I won't bother you much. You've got enough children to worry about :biggrin: @dazzerfongSorry about that, but you said it yourself you don't have much experience with people with disorders so you can't know what's going through our heads. I guess you had a more or less problem free life? Not trying to badger anyone about any fight, I'm just sharing experiences with other people. I'm trying to collect more knowledge so I can help the people who need it more then I do. My situation is literally nothing compared to what other people go through and I know that. I'm trying to stop the people who teach others that being different is wrong. I don't care (no offense) if you think this is good or bad, but I think you too would want to live in a more tolerant and understanding world, wouldn't you? -Btw, I'm sorry If I misunderstood you. "but please don't badger me about your fight" that part confused me a bit and seemed a bit offensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naomis8329 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 That is the point isn't it. Tolerance. What a wonderful, all encompassing word. Those that do not approve of same sex or inter-racial marriages should show tolerance for them, we're not asking them to partake of it, just understand it. Those that think that the "bloodlines" should not be diluted need a history lesson in interbreeding and madness. If nothing else look at pedigree animals, interbreeding in the dalmatian breed has resulted in a number of litters being born with deafness and blindness. Does that encourage the breeders to bring in different breeds to lesson the risk, no, not at all. We now have "designer" breeds labridoodles and the like which may help in the long run (to me they are mongrels just like my Mr Binx a King Charles Spaniel Jack Russell cross, has the temperament of the King Charles but the markings and body of the Jack Russell), A lovely dog and one which will hopefully have a longer life span than a pedigree. Are these natural mutations, I like to think so and ones that will make the canine species hardier and more robust. Inter-racial marriages should encourage the same thing. A natural migration of the species to better itself and become more robust. A sharing of beliefs and ideals that will make for the betterment of mankind in the long run. This is what should be taught in schools in PHSE or social studies or whatever the hell your educational system calls it. Tolerance, intermingling of ideas, discussions for and against, critiques of ideas... This should be encouraged, monitored and fielded by independent mentors. The gang culture needs to stop and the way is through education both institutionally and at home. We need to nurture, encourage and love each other, lead by example and others will follow. Surely that is something worth fighting for. I'll shut up now lol and let you guys get on with it. Hopefully I've given you food for thought and discussion. :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzerfong Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 No, I was just using that as an example, I'm not trying to lead the conversation that way. Sorry if you interpreted it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iv000 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 My fault then, sorry. No harm done :biggrin: Naomis,What I don't understand is why do intolerant people teach others to think the same way?My closest friend IRL is atheist and doesn't partake in religious education so he goes to ethics or ethical education if you call it like that over there. The professor over there is disgusted by same-sex relationships and she's basically teaching them to do the same. Of course, then my friend is making up gay jokes to make fun of them/us. Besides the fact that it hurts to hear that, he's also spreading it and making other people make fun of us as well. Firstly I don't understand why he (and everybody else) believes these stereotypical stories. They literally believe that we're rapists, feminine and that we're sick in the head. At least they could tell the truth and then let people decide if you like me or not, not tell them absolute lies that people like that are 'fags and queers' and that I want to rape every male I see. Secondly, why is the principal allowing that? Why is anyone allowing this? I don't know if I am just much more mature than everybody else or everybody else is just selfish and egoistic. This country is confusing. It's conservative and selfish like nothing I have ever seen.I am not worried about me, I know how to handle myself. I'm worried about others, I don't want anyone to get hurt just because they are different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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