Irony Defined

[CaptainRC]

Irony is:

 

Vulwulf Snow-Shod ranting about how he won't rest easy "until every last Imperial pig is driven back over the Jerall Mountains"...

 

... then gets up to raise his mug and dance (if that's what you call it) to the bard singing "The Age of Aggression."

Edited August 24, 2012 by CaptainRC

[Moraevik]

Geeze ... it's late (for me, early in the morning for most people), so I'm a little hazy on this one, but I'll post it, anyway. When you finally get fully accepted into the Companions someone (can't remember who) tells you to check with Eorland to get a better weapon than "whatever that is". At the time I had a self-crafted fully-improved custom dual-enchanted ebony greatsword strapped to my back. Who's the best blacksmith in Whiterun? Why, the Dragonborn, of course. Eorland couldn't make anything like that if his life depended upon it.

 

Seeing iron and steel weapons being made by Orcs is pretty ironic, too.

 

And more of a curiosity than an irony, where do all these elven, orcish, and, especially, Imperial weapons and armor come from when you find them in ancient Nordic ruins that have never been opened until you unseal them, yourself?

 

"You dare fight a Dun ..." <one-shotted with my bow>

 

"You can't even imagine the power I wield!" (said by an apprentice mage ... did you read that? a.p.p.r.e.n.t.i.c.e) I was Archmage at the time. I was even wearing the Archmage's outfit.

 

Farengar telling me I should join the mages college in Winterhold even after I become Archmage.

 

I'm the Harbinger of the Companions and some guard recognizes me as that new member of the Companions and wonders if I get meade for everyone else. Makes me want to slap the guy up side the face with my war axe.

 

I'm Thane of Whiterun and a guard there tells me "Stay out of trouble, Khajiit." I can't throw these guys in jail for insubordination like that?

 

Again, I'm Thane of Whiterun and Irileth threatens to kill me if I approach Jarl Balgruuth. That one came out the blue at me as I was actually approaching Proventus. I was like "OK, Irileth. I slay dragons for a living. You'll be dead before you get your sword out of the sheath. Now go away and play in your sandbox like a nice little girl before you get hurt."

 

Going back into the Thalmor Embassy right after completing the mission, there. I had never done that, before. I picked the lock on the front gate to get in and then walked into the barracks (where I had never been before). The soldiers there were quite congenial, welcoming me to the Thalmor Embassy. I had just finished killing every single Thalmor I encountered. I guess word doesn't get around that there's a small war raging right outside your door. The doorlady was still at the main entrance and told me to go right on it and that the party had already started. The door was locked and needed a key or I would have.

 

A follower remarking about a cave and wondering what might be inside it. We had just cleared the cave and were leaving.

 

The same follower speaking in awe about a Nordic ruin. It was just one of those insignificant roundish burial things that you see scattered around all over Skyrim (like "Roadside Ruins").

[Hoamaii]

Not exactly irony, but kind of absurd: if you're using followers, you know the moments when you get deep into a dungeon, surrounded by draughrs, and one of them behind you says "I don't like this at all...". If I turn to my in-game wife to check her weapon inventory, the only highlighted dialog is usually "is the shop making any money?" - clicking it sure cheers her up and makes me laugh every time.

 

And speaking about followers, irony at the beginning of my game when I had not installed any mod yet, was reloading after Lydia was slaughtered again, only to hear her respawned self greet me with "I will give my life for you...". :facepalm: I know, you just did, 10 times!.. Will you please stop giving it away so easily?!..

[ClonePatrol]

Skjor making a comment along the lines of "I've never heard of this outlander" when you try and join The Companions, no matter how accomplished you are by that point. Especially glaring since I'd imagine most people are probably Thane of Whiterun before they ever try and join the Companions for the first time. Even if the guards all know who you are, that you'd killed your first dragon, and the Jarl's court believes it's you that's been summoned by the Greybeards he still acts like you're just some nobody. He can't exactly be keeping up on current events in the slightest...

 

Then there's Wuunferth the Unliving in Windhelm during 'Blood on the Ice'. If you decide to go directly to him about the accusation/evidence that he may be 'The Butcher' rather than the Jarl's Steward, he'll act terribly offended and claim to be a "member in good standing" of the College of Winterhold and that necromancy is forbidden amongst the membership (it's not forbidden and never has been, just discouraged while not on College grounds due to the way Nords can react) even if you happen to be the Archmage of the College when you talk to him. I couldn't help but feel there should have been a dialogue option to call him on that one. A really bad idea on his part in that the lie itself made him seem even more guilty considering the frame up that had already been done and brought to his attention. It's not that odd that he might not know he was talking to the new Archmage though.

Edited August 23, 2012 by ClonePatrol

[Georgiegril]

I just went to Windhelm, finished blood on the ice, killed Calixto, then went across town and murdered Nilsine for my assassin job. Then I go tell Jorlief the killer has been caught and he replies that I have saved Windhelm from a dangerous murderer. Yep.

[denar9072]

Choosing to help Faendal over Sven with their little love triangle problem in Riverwood, so from that point onwards he always greets me with the "You've been a good friend to me."

Train up Marksman for free and rob him blind using the follower dialogue. Take him to Boethiah's Shrine, and use him for the offering, with the Mace of Molag Bal for his soul, and then harvest his blood for Mora. Yup, we're besties.

[sinnerman69]

I like the line they'll use "That spell looks dangerous...keep your distance! " and they just shot a Icy Spear into a draugr themselves just before saying that. Edited August 23, 2012 by sinnerman69

[Flipout6]

I charged into these ruins full of mages outside of Windhelm as a werewolf, killing and eating everyone, only to find SANGUINE himself killing every mage in there. I'd already done his quest and accepted the sanguine rose, and he attacks ME, too. And he was spouting the lines of a typical nord guy, despite being a dremora. (A dremora lord shouting "I've always been pushed around, but NO MORE!" as he single-handedly slaughters every mage in the room.) heck, I was indulging my werewolf self by eating the dead corpses, and he tries to kill me anyway. Daedric prince of dark indulgences tries to kill my for indulging myself on a mage's heart.

 

Oh, and being married to Mjoll, I always have to put up with Aerin. As part of a Dawnguard sidequest she got kidnapped, so i charge in (once again as a werewolf.) and see Aerin fighting a bandit. Trying to save both Mjoll and Aerin, I killed the bandit, but vastly overestimated his health level, and killed him on the first attack. Of course, the subsequent attacks murdered the F**K out of Aerin and nearly butchered Mjoll. Quite a rescue.

 

Harkon considering me to be Werewolf filth, and then me killing him in werewolf form XD

Edited August 24, 2012 by Flipout6

[StayFrosty05]

I charged into these ruins full of mages outside of Windhelm as a werewolf, killing and eating everyone, only to find SANGUINE himself killing every mage in there. I'd already done his quest and accepted the sanguine rose, and he attacks ME, too. And he was spouting the lines of a typical nord guy, despite being a dremora. (A dremora lord shouting "I've always been pushed around, but NO MORE!" as he single-handedly slaughters every mage in the room.) heck, I was indulging my werewolf self by eating the dead corpses, and he tries to kill me anyway. Daedric prince of dark indulgences tries to kill my for indulging myself on a mage's heart.

 

Oh, and being married to Mjoll, I always have to put up with Aerin. As part of a Dawnguard sidequest she got kidnapped, so i charge in (once again as a werewolf.) and see Aerin fighting a bandit. Trying to save both Mjoll and Aerin, I killed the bandit, but vastly overestimated his health level, and killed him on the first attack. Of course, the subsequent attacks murdered the F**K out of Aerin and nearly butchered Mjoll. Quite a rescue.

Harkon considering me to be Werewolf filth, and then me killing him in werewolf form XD

 

I have been wanting to do that.... :biggrin: ....saving it for my next run.... :happy:

 

Have you come across the mod that turns Aerin into a lap dog?....I don't use or marry Mjoll, but still think the mod is an awesome idea... :biggrin:

[kevkiev]

Skjor making a comment along the lines of "I've never heard of this outlander" when you try and join The Companions, no matter how accomplished you are by that point...

 

I think Skjor's insane. Something went wrong when whatever necromancy magic brought him back to life after his run-in with the Silverhands.

 

I also think he sells all those "rich folks' trinkets" on the black market after you retrieve 'em. "They wanted it handled with the utmost discretion, give it here." Sure buddy, like they wouldn't trust the freakin' Harbinger over a guy that doesn't can't even keep straight who the Harbinger of his little clan is.

 

/OT :tongue: