Trying to write a book. Feedback/suggestions welcome.

[loismustdie555]

First of all the story is intended to re-define the "Creation" of the universe, and ALL forms of "Afterlife" with the main twist being that every religion that entails a different "Afterlife" whether good and/or bad is correct depending upon your religious beliefs. I do not intend to offend anyone, nor am I stating that anyone's beliefs are wrong and/or incorrect, I am simply trying to define MY opinion on the possibility of creation of all things. This book contains certain elements of my personal life, including Names, Houses, Locations, and Personal Relations that I might use as personal retribution for things I have done and or done nothing about. If you are (or believe that you are) a person in this story and wish all references of yourself to be removed, please PM me and I shall do so. Also of note is that my name in all such things has been replaced with "David".

 

Grand Masters of The Universe

By

555

 

Short Description

 

David (Age 27) was always an ordinary person, he was raised in a mid to high class family by his grandparents. His mother and younger sister also lived with him, his grandparents house was fairly large, and he had always accepted that he was not much different than most other people, And that he would never be anything more than an average citizen. But that was before the recent string of events that revealed to him things that never seemed possible...

 

 

Prologue

The Temple Of Light

 

It all started when he was walking into his room and he noticed there was an elderly man dressed in robes that appeared older than anything he'd ever laid eyes on standing with his hands behind his back while he was looking out his bedroom window. At first David was startled but the instant that David walked into the room the old man (Without even turning around) spoke in a low even toned voice saying "Do not be alarmed David. I mean you no harm".

David was completely speechless, the old man took note of this and spoke again

"I have been watching you for quite some time. You have recently become married, Yes"?

"That is correct. how do you know this? More importantly how did you get in here"?

"That is irrelevant at the moment". Replied the man.

"What matters is that you listen to me carefully and understand that a chain of events has been set in motion that can NOT be stopped, and you are the one who will decide how to end this chain when the time comes. My name is Master Junis, I come from a place long since forgotten by mankind, where many things people believe to be mythical and non-existent have been kept away from those who might wish to misuse them. The time has come that we must gather those with 'The Gift' back to this place so that they might be trained in how to properly use their gift for the good of mankind. You are one such person, as is your wife Zorra. Time is of the essence, we must hurry. Your wife already knows what I just told you and is waiting for you. Are you ready"?

David thought for a moment and figured that the man was obviously more than just an elderly man in robes, and since his wife was oddly not at home he decided to agree. "OK, I'm ready". The old man remained expressionless and turned to face david, then he slowly rose his right hand and with his palm facing himself and closed his fingers one by one until his hand was in a fist. Before David could even say anything they were both on what appeared to be an island in the middle of the ocean, David looked around and saw only water as far as the eye could see, and a large stone temple, that appeared to be aged by thousands of years of ocean air and plant growth, yet it was completely untouched by erosion of any kind. In the center was a large double door carved out of a darker stone than the rest of the structure, Master Junis motioned for David to step inside, stating that David's wife was waiting for him Inside. David saw no option other than to listen to Master Junis and stepped inside the temple.

Sure enough, Zorra was inside, sitting at a stone table that looked even older than the temple itself. "Hey honey" said Zorra, "I've been waiting for you". "What is this place"? asked david to both his wife and Master Junis. "This, is the Temple Of Light". Replied a third voice. "I am Master Albert, another of the Great Elders of which Master Junis is". "We are older than either of you could even imagine, and you both will soon learn things that no mortal man or woman has learned for over a thousand years. We will be teaching you of the ancient magicks that have been unknown for a long, long time".

 

 

Chapter 1

First Teachings

 

Over the next few weeks David and Zorra trained constantly, learning things they never even thought possible outside of their imagination. They learned how to control the elements, for use as weapons or protection, and how to stop time for short periods of time and even telekinesis. Zorra did not outwardly show curiosity towards the origin of the structure that she and David had been staying in, though David never stopped wondering how such a peaceful place could exist.

You could walk out onto the entry way where David had first arrived and the feeling of complete peace would almost overpower you, but he could not tell where he was - there was no landmarks, no planes, or helicopters, not even a boat of any kind could be seen or heard for as far as the naked eye could see.

He even asked Master Junis if he had a telescope of any kind to see if there was something, anything, to see outside other than water, Master Junis said "I do have a sighting telescope, but there is nothing but water all around. We are surrounded by a magical barrier that prevents anything, or anyone from seeing this place and we are also in the middle of th ocean which is about as "remote" as it gets".

"But why"? Asked David, "Why would a structure of such beauty need to be protected"?

"That is because those who might strive for power may find this place and wish to misuse it's contents and our knowledge. It is most unfortunate but we had to remove all traces of magick from the grasp of mankind, for mankind is it's own worst enemy and there have been people who wish to, and would misuse it for their own personal gain".

"But what of the origins of this structue? It appears even older than mankind itself, how is such a thing possible"?

"Are you sure that you wish to know? That knowledge is powerful, and no-one other than the Great Elders has known or heard it for longer than you might believe. Keep in mind that you can't 'un-ring the bell'".

David thought for what seemed like an eternity while Master Junis stood patiently.

"Yes. I want to know".

"Then so shall it be". Whsipered Master Junis.

The area around them suddenly faded into a thick fog until David could only see himself and Master Junis. Then the fog slowly faded and David was stricken with awe. Where he know was, was almost undescribable; The ground was a purpleish brown and had a slight purple glow to it, the landscape was like another planet, there were glowing gold and purple buildings all around him but they appeared to be made of the same stone like material as the Temple Of Light and while they seemed new, they also appeared ancient beyond belief at the same time.

"Come David, it is time for you to meet the creators of the universe". Said Master Junis as he started to walk slowly towards a very large building in the middle of rows of smaller ones.

David said nothing and followed Master Junis until they reached the building. It had the same kind of doors as the Temple but these were more colored and cracked with age.

Master Junis proceeded to push open the door slowly, and he and David stepped inside.

 

"Greetings Master Junis". Said a disembodied voice that david heard in his head.

"Greetings, Creator. I have brought a Human here who wishes to know of the origins of the Temple Of Light on his planet, as well as the Great Elders origins".

"Is that so? Then listen well young one, for this is a long tale"

[Maharg67]

Great! Your story is much easier to read now that it goes from the left margin and not the center! That makes it easier to appreciate. Please keep on writing on! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: