Throwing the Baby Out with the Bathwater

[Fkemman11]

Not a very eloquent title I admit. But it is a very apt expression from a bygone age. What it means, simply, is to reject the favorable with the unfavorable. Who and what it affects is everything and everyone. In the past, it was widely considered sound, sensible advice on what not to do when the urge arises. Hence the full saying "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater". However, it can also be argued that it may be the most sensible approach to what many may view as "dangerous" or liable to cause much more harm than any benefit. Perhaps, in a final analysis, it may simply mean to leave all options available because you never know where things might end up (another widely agreed upon "truth").

 

People achieve things through the use of tools. Not just the utilization of existing ones, but also the development of new ones. The old tools are used to make the new tools and somewhere in the development and usage of new tools, the old are consumed, put away or discarded entirely. A tool is, unlike it's rather simple definition, anything a person can use to change or influence their environment. In this context, I am focusing on ideas.

 

The anatomy of an idea are the means used to express it- words, music, art, ect. Words can hold intrinsic power because of their (agreed upon or believed) meaning and to this point are the most efficient method expressing thought or conveying meaning. Meaning is understood through the images words bring to mind- i.e. I say "flower" and your mind should conjure an image of what I mean. If I say "a flower on a hill", then your mind should show that image and you might have a feeling of peace while imagining it. If I say "throw the baby out with bath water", then my goal is to illicit feelings of rejecting that image. Follow me?

 

Now if I say "Throw the baby out with the bath water on the flowery hill", then you might think of it in that setting. This, a poor example I admit, is guilt by association. In other words, adding anything to that image in your mind might cause you to associate one with the other in ALL instances. Where from now on when you hear the words "hill" or "flower" you might also see the "baby" and have negative feelings about it. Guilt by association is a powerful and destructive concept. If a person states or does one thing to upset you, regardless whether intentional or not, and depending on how strongly you felt, is it wise to dismiss anything they say or do after that? To even refuse to listen or "see" them? Is it wise to dismiss their friends as well? How about an entire group of people? Where does it end?

 

Opinions?

[Striker879]

It may sound rather odd to most perhaps, but for me the people who don't like who offer me the most value.

 

When I look in the mirror I don't see a true representation of me but a reflection ... it's even flipped left for right. My brain makes the adjustment and most of the time I wouldn't even be aware of the adjustment. That's the problem of trusting me to see the "real me". Everything I see about myself and my actions is filtered through my brain, and it has been programmed via millennia to show me what is best for my survival ... not necessarily the truth.

 

Those same millennia have given me another tool ... the eyes of those around me. They are uniquely situated to give me a view that is not my own, but they come with that same handicap ... those eyes are also attached to a brain, and brains do more than "make adjustments". Brains have agendas, as you allude to with your "guilt by association".

 

So why do non-friends offer more value?

 

To use my mirror analogy, friends offer that "other viewpoint" of me, but they do it by holding up their mirror and letting me look. I don't see anything that is fundamentally different than what I see in my own mirror. Friends are supportive, they're not looking to make me feel uncomfortable about myself even when they can see something I cannot.

 

Non-friends (even enemies) aren't constrained by the same relationship considerations ... they hold a mirror up behind my back and show me things I can't see any other way. Granted they aren't doing so for my personal benefit ... those agendas are always present, so the view they offer needs to be studied and analyzed.

 

With a little effort on my part there is much to be learned from those who don't like me, and it is often information that is available from no other source (well maybe no other source that doesn't require couch time and a substantial outlay of cash ... I'm an old guy and a skinflint).

Edited August 25, 2020 by Striker879