What can I do? (Depressing stuff)

[Indigoblade]

I'm sorry about talking about depressing stuff, but I am hoping someone could maybe give me some helpful advice on handling this situation. My girlfriend and I go to different colleges so she lives about 300 miles away from me and lives all by herself, she has no support from anybody and refuses to get any sort of help from me. I found out that she has been spending way too much just to visit me once every other month to the point that she is having trouble paying her bills. She now tells me that she might even have to give up her dog (her only companion over there) to be able to eat. I can't let her lose that dog (it's literally one of the only things keeping her from being lonely), but I don't know what to do, she won't let me help her, and I can't move over there to help her (going to school, in between jobs). I blame myself for getting her to this state and I feel like a failure as a man. I know I must do something now! I just don't know what that is! The nexus community has always been so helpful and nice to me, I was hoping someone could give me some advice on what to do...

Thank for reading...

[Jokerine]

I'm really sorry to hear this. Maybe you could get her to let you help cover the expenses for the dog? Like food and such. Hope it all gets better soon <3

[Indigoblade]

I'm really sorry to hear this. Maybe you could get her to let you help cover the expenses for the dog? Like food and such. Hope it all gets better soon <3

Thanks for the concern, no she doesn't want any money or help at all... I all I seem to do is stand back here and do nothing... it sucks

[MalachiDelacot]

Have her look into Food Stamps ( or whatever it's called now ) and Food Banks.

If she's ever had a job, she's already paid into the system and will in a sense taking

back some of what she's put into the system.

Also, there are places that give out food for free...churches and such. If it bothers

her to do that, she can pay them back via volunteering to do things, or take them

some food when things are better for her.

[ZeroKing]

You, being the caring boyfriend, need to convince her that, in a loving relationship, you need to stick out for each other. Her refusal of wanting help from you is likely that she doesn't want to be a burden on you. However, talk to her. I mean, really talk to her. Attempt to work out the money issues together. Sometimes, sharing the expenses and learning to cut back on certain things TOGETHER saves a lot.

This is coming from a married man who went through 8 years of university (with no parental support whatsoever, they've been dead for a long time), having dated my wife during all of those years. The witch refused any help, but I had to convince her it's a life-reducer if she didn't work things out with me. A woman of logic would understand and come to the conclusion that refusing help from you or anyone else close to her will spell out trouble, especially when you're going to post-secondary.

Be pro-active. Find ways to optimize your costs. Start with your attitude. First, work on having positive feelings. Then work on your woman's. Then find what you can reduce in terms of costs, but ensuring basic necessitities are covered. You need to convince her to understand. Don't give up on that.

Edited April 23, 2013 by ZeroKing