Derkins Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Hey dude I gotts say good luck to ya I hope everything goes well and turns out how you want it to turn out. so *Thumbs up* To ya lad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raptor1261992 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Sounds similar to a situation im in, i've recently fallen for one of my friends. However, at the moment, i've wrestled these feelings into submission (we've both decided to wait until we are both in university if anything will happen). Anyway, my advice is this STAY FRIENDS, my friendship with her means the world to me (we are close friends) and talking to her is enough to brighten my day if its going badly. Besides we can do the same stuff couples do as friends (go to movies, go to concerts etc.) plus it doesn't keep me tied down (no obligations) Hope this helps a bit -raptor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagrant0 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 So much hate for the crutch... I say that crutches are good as long as the person using them eventually learns to live without. Point being, stop thinking that things are going to last forever, take things one day at a time, if she seems a bit too clingy, don't panic and reject, but try to encourage her to be a bit more assertive. Don't think about tomorrow, think about now. Don't think about these abstract things called love or emotion, just be yourself and stop trying to label and classify everything. Why can't the simple magic of two people connecting and sharing the same moment of time just be appreciated as is. So long as you both walk away better because of that connection, it remains a good thing. This does not mean to be distant, or unresponsive, but instead take things as they come, and try to help eachother with those problems that may arise. If it was just a game, do not feel bad, for even within such games there is always some piece of truth, it may not be the type of truth you may want to accept, but it is there. The reasons behind the game may be deceit, but the moments shared are genuine. So live for the moments and appreciate them as they come. But, this is coming from a guy who has had so many of those kinds of relationships just slip away. When things break, someone needs to pick up the pieces, otherwise they just remain broken and getting stuck in the feet of any who pass by. Sometimes, those moments are all that some people ever have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ov3rwhelming Posted March 7, 2009 Author Share Posted March 7, 2009 Well, as much as I hate to have to admit it, Michlo was right. Sorry for ignoring your advice, but I had to try. She ended up falling for some other guy a week after I made this topic. Oh well, at least I tried. We are still friends, and I'm hoping we have a better friendship and I might be able to pick her up when the other guy dumps her, which will happen eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michlo Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Well, as much as I hate to have to admit it, Michlo was right. Sorry for ignoring your advice, but I had to try. She ended up falling for some other guy a week after I made this topic. Oh well, at least I tried. We are still friends, and I'm hoping we have a better friendship and I might be able to pick her up when the other guy dumps her, which will happen eventually. Us old buggers only "know" these things because we've trod similar paths, mate. Your friendship can quite likely be stronger than anything else the two of you could have had. However, I don't like your line of "pick her up when the other guy dumps her". You say you're sorry for ignoring the advice but then you're ready to go and do the same thing again? Continue your life. Do not put it on hold for someone you already KNOW it won't work out with. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PureSnipe Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Okay, since some of this has been stated, but in various other posts, let me compile it by telling you what my life is doing right now, much as yours is.:I recently had some very, very bad issues in my life, and a good friend at that time, also a girl, helped me through them as it was happening to her too. We use each other as support, and if an outside observer were to watch us and the way we treated each other, they would think we were dating. We trade the "I love you" every time we part, and occasionally give each other a kiss as a sign of affection. There is a difference in friendship type love, and in "true" love. From what it sounds from your information, you two WANT TO STAY AS FRIENDS. Nothing more. Trying to cope with harsh life issues and relationship issues is a recipe for disaster. My best friend has a boyfriend, and once we made it known that our friendship wasn't a relationship, but more of a bond, things changed drastically for how things seemed to occur for me. Again, DON'T try and date a person that you have been, or are, comforting. Bad, BAD idea. You'll end up pissing her off and driving her away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halororor Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Take it from somebody who talks from experience. Girls telling you they love you doesn't necessarily mean in the boyfriend/girlfriend type of love. I had a friend who told me she couldn't date me because it would feel like dating her own brother :blink: If you decide to ask her out, good luck. I just see hurt coming your way. Remember, her life is messed up right now, but what happens to you once she sorts everything out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antonkr Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 DON'T ASK HER OUT try to ask her who is this guy what happentry to understand her little bit more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ov3rwhelming Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 I just wanted to make this clear, I'm not putting my life on hold for her, I am moving on with my life. I just have very strong feelings for her, and I don't want to just walk away from it, not if there is still a chance. What I meant by "I might be able to pick her up when the other guy dumps her" was that I could still be their for her, still be the person for her to fall back on. I really just want to be anything for her, maybe not her boyfriend, as much as I might want it, but I am willing to settle for her friend and her source of guidance, or whatever else, but I don't want to have the door close on a relationship, because, here I go, I'm gonna say it, I really feel like I love her. Don't give me that line about I'm too young to know what love is, I know all that, but I still feel that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LHammonds Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 This reminds me of a movie my wife recently forced me to go see with her...which was fairly funny: He's just not that into you My advice: Drop the idea of this girl EVER being your girlfriend. At most, you might get a one-night-stand / brief relationship but that is not what you seem to be trying to accomplish. Regarding relationships, do not ever "fall" for somebody when you do not know what it is that draws you to them. Those reasons are usually things you'd rather not ever say out loud. When I met my wife-to-be, I knew exactly why I loved her and still to this very day. There is nothing unsure about our love (on my end or hers) and we have been married for almost 10 years and have 3 kids. Relationships cannot last with just one person trying to make it happen. EDIT: If you do get involved with somebody else, make it clear to this woman that you cannot be her crutch while with another woman. It is never good to mingle with those you have "feelings" for when you are with another. LHammonds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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