Burr Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Well, I never got to see your work, so it's a shame. But a bigger shame is that you (and some others) let these people get to you. The world is full of people who will try to bring you down, never mind the reason, but they are there; everywhere. You can't please everyone and you can't expect people who's main purpose is to hurt others to disappear, and you can't expect ignorance to go away either, you can only ignore the obvious fact of existence. I can't attest to the quality of your work, but no matter how much you put into something, there will be people who only wish to bring it down. The internet is full of bored, insecure people who have the luxury of anonymity, and if you are not well-equipped to expect abuse and learn to ignore them, they win and you lose. You have to try and put yourself above the petty garbage... it's a shame you weren't able to give the haters the treatment they deserve (outright ignoring) rather than giving them exactly what they wanted, which is precisely what you have done. They call it "feeding the trolls" because it sustains them, they thrive on it. The only thing that works and will ever work is to ignore them entirely and not give them the attention they crave. Basically, you are punishing everyone as well as yourself for the actions of the human excrement of internet society: the types of people that have always existed, and unfortunately will always exist. I hope that in the future you find a way to become better equipped to deal with these inevitable confrontations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsaboteur Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 i am sorry for you poetress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nosisab Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 I know tis sound selfish but you and your work very much means to us, this community, Dez. Please reconsider. In time: As Jaysus already said long ago in this same thread, do not let the stupidity from them 'poorly living' win the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dezdimona Posted May 27, 2009 Author Share Posted May 27, 2009 Let me say one thing here. Those who know me well know I stand up for myself. I've fought back many times and stood my ground concerning not only my work but the work of others. My decision was made not in the spur of the moment or in a "Tantrum" as one person said. I"ve seen female after female modder here,some here for a long time treaty poorly lately. I don't blame Dark One,nor Buddah nor bben or any of the others here. Their hard work and dedication to this site is remarkable and exemplitory of a good site. The problem comes from those that start a topic looking for opinions. ( I guess they mean Male opinions only) They say things that they have a right to say, but when I voice my opinion, when I call out someone who says one thing and then does another I'm called a "drama Queen", I start crap, etc.All I do is voice my opinion and question the fence straddlers. Then I get jumped by the "boys" club who obviously are afraid of an outspoken woman, a woman who voices her opinion and is confident in herself and her abilities. These throw backs to an earlier age in history don't have the courage to look at the fact they might and are wrong on many counts. They would rather lash out at me and other females here then look "less than a man" to their peers. I know my faults,I'm not afraid to look at myself and see what I need to change as a human being. These men(I use that term loosely) lack that corage. Their egos and vanity keep them from seeing the truth about themselves. I'm not writing this to start trouble as I'm sure "they" will think.I'm stating my feelings and voicing what i know and feel about them, its my right! I know Dark One has put a good portion of his life into this site and I hold a great respect for all he has done. The issue of sexy clothing and armor and adult mods only seems an issue to those ashamed of their own bodies or sexuality of which I and others here don't have. I for one along with Montana and gabryal and Guabaman58 have come up with a solution to this ongoing one sided issue. In the very near future,their will be a place where those that prefer "realism" to their game, those unashamed of the female body in any form and with the courage to believe that rights and freedom of expression are a good thing will be welcomed with open arms. Montana and I have looked long and hard for a place and now the seed has sprouted,is growing and will soon bear fruit. Never again will male or female modders or those that use those mods have to worry about the "little" people of the gameing world, the biased and frankly moralistic people who see their way as right when they themselves are the true villans. I have not left this site,but my mods will not be uploaded here again. Once '"Our place" is ready they will be available to those we know appreciate the "finer" things in mature game play. I again single out no one,the good members here already know who you are and I thank Dark One and Buddah for allowing me "The Priviledge" of being here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasder Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Woah. I've been purely in the lounge for a long while due to problems with my game, and I couldn't imagine this sort of thing happenning back in December. It's quite a shock to come back and find modders being heckled and insulted. To be perfectly honest, I'm not one for the more mature kind of mod, so I'll just keep quiet and not rate them. I feel quite let down by people with similar mod tastes as I do, who have given us all a bad name and driven talented modders away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burr Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 dezdimona, I know you don't know me and you are not going to put much meddle into what I say, but these people will always exist. Ignorance and intolerance are a part of humanity and will likely always be. In our lifetime, it will not go away, and we will not be able to escape it. The only defense against it is thick skin: rising above their level. If you put yourself above these sorts of people (which you seem to, and rightfully so) why even acknowledge them or put any worth into what they say? It simply isn't worth it. You can't change people. Sure, you might find a site that starts off well, but if and when it grows larger, you simply cannot police this sort of thing with absolute effectiveness. If you get caught in this vicious cycle, you will never be happy. You have to take the good with the bad; people can be great, people can be awful, and expect to encounter both. There are a lot of conservative, pretentious, ignorant and childish opinions out there, and you will run into them from time to time, maybe even more often than not in your case since you are clearly a target, but you simply cannot let yourself get sucked in. It is inescapable and you are only going to become angry and bitter if you don't learn to let their trash bounce off of you. Anyway, I wish you luck and again am sorry to hear that I won't be able to experience your mods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarb Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 I am very sorry to hear of your leaving. I have been a member of this forum and player of Oblivion for only a short time, but I firmly believe in the personal responsibility of choice. If one is not happy with an option, then do not choose it, but do not think to take up some righteous position borne of insecurity and try to quash all options which you fear. I was fortunate enough to download many of the mods that seem to now be disappearing, and they have greatly enhanced my enjoyment of Oblivion. I was looking forward to more work from these same excellent and brave modders, but it seems indeed that a few bad apples have spoiled the bunch. It is hard to continually stick one's neck out amongst the masses and hope that no one will take advantage of their shadowy anonymity and try to cleave that same neck. I applaud you Dezdimona for putting forth the work here you have. I, like many others, wish you were staying. I also hope I will somehow be privy to your future work. I understand it is a privelage, and not a right, to be able to share such things with those who have created them. Farewell to you, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabryal Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 as a quick aside, my statement about the admins and owners of this site was ment as a warning to them, not a condemnation. That's the only clarification I'll make. I stand by the rest of my former statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaysus Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 why would you need to warn them? theyre quite aware of that situation and are quite the best volunteer troupee around in regards to keeping the peace and harmony on such a large scale... sounds quite threatening to me the way you worded it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oruboris Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Here's what I don't get: How is giving the prudes _everything_ they want while depriving those of us who think like you do a good thing? How does that hurt the badguys, or strengthen the mods-for-grown-ups community? I don't deny that you have every right, I'm just not seeing the up-side to hurting your freinds and helping your enemies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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