Jump to content

The last poster wins


TheCalliton

Recommended Posts

A little....

 

I let her in she jumps on the bed curls up on my tummy as long as I'm stroking her. She purrs away and I think she's asleep. I get comfortable and start falling asleep when low and behold she decides to jump onto my dressing table knocking everything hither and yon. Climbs onto the window ledge and knocks everything off there also, comes off onto my chest of drawers and knocks off my jewellery box then jumps back onto the bed. I'm now out of bed picking everything up off the floor and putting it back.

 

I turn round and there she is in the middle of the bed asleep.

 

I get back in (around her I hasten to add) and get comfortable once more. I'm just beginning to fall asleep when... she jumps off the bed and decides to fight with my shoes, that I've left out of the wardrobe. I put them away. She then grabs my fluffy rug and decides that this is now her playground whereby she rolls around on the floor getting herself tangled up in it. Once she is completely caught up in the rug she begins meowing as she can't get out.

 

By this time its about 4.30am and I decide that enough is enough and I dress, stagger downstairs with her running ahead, opening the lounge door, jumping onto the coffee table and proceeds to wash herself as if nothing happened.

 

Two to three hours later, I collapse in a heap on the chair by my desk whilst she "kills" all her feathers that she has been out hunting. Once bored of that she promptly places all feathers on my lap whilst looking at me as if to say "come and play". If I do I lose a finger if I don't I end up being used as a scratching post. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

 

By lunchtime, I have to go and lie down as I'm having problems standing up. The cats are normally outside playing by this time, so I'm hoping to have time to myself.

 

You can guess the rest right :(

 

I'm beginning to think I'm living on adrenalin and caffeine as I'm now exhausted through lack of sleep :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would say can we swap, but I love my ninja kitty and I know she loves me as she shows me every day and quite a few times during the day.

 

I just wish she remembered I need to sleep and for longer than an hour at a time :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

FYI you can be fem shep and 'lez' with any of the female characters except Jack and Tali.

Not on Xbox 360.... or maybe?

How, without a mod?

Is it really possible?

Don't give me none of that Kelly Chambers crap, Morinth says she'll kill you if you clam joust, Samara declines because of the importance of the mission...yawn, Miranda's all stuck up and probably has a wang anyway because she's a clone of Charles Widmore, Kasumi doesn't have any meaningful dialogue options and she's all evasive and junk, EDI is all up in Joker's business, Dr. Chakwas doesn't want to play doctor with you, Ashley's all "I don't trust you" and then all like <FRIENDZONE>.

 

Do you have some sort of ancient arcane Croatian knowledge I'm not aware of?

 

Tell me you bastard!

 

I need to know!

 

If it's only with overrides and/or "unlocked content" for the PC, then I only offer you a haughty snort of derision and a shake of the head for ballooning my hopes.

 

I disagree with doing it wrong if you're manshep. It's no fun when there's not two penises in bed. Mshep x Kaidan FTW.

Kaiden is a weenie - he's worse than Carth. "I have a headache" is his most meaningful contribution to the mission other than dying on Virmire. That being said, it's a general rule that is mainly aimed at guys I know that criticize me for only playing femshep.

 

(It's funny, I feel the exact opposite way, zero penises is my limit. Yes, this poses a problem with my involvement in such situations but I deal with it.)

Besides I still see Mass Effect as a romance game. Gameplay? What gameplay. I was playing for the story and so I could see Mshep romance Kaidan. Which is very well done in the end and thankfully doesn't contain too much pink or shopping. It's raw man/man emotions and that's the thing.

 

In the end you should play ME as a dialogue based romance simulator, with combat mini games.

 

Yeah, I enjoy the whole scope of Femshep and Liara's romance and the romance scenes in Mass Effect were done well as a culmination of their love. The romance/bro-mance/ho-mance scenes in ME2 were just a tease and since, if you want everyone to survive, you essentially have to pay attention to everyone equally, it makes them carry less meaning, especially when some characters seem like they should be banging eachother i/e: Jack/Miranda, Garrus/Tali, Jacob/Kasumi, Thane/Kasumi, Grunt/Mordin, Zeaeed/a space belt sander, Legion/EDI, Chambers/Your space fish. In ME3, they were really dumb since every female non asari has the same skin texture and all the shirtless males have the same skin texture - unless you go for a ride on Garrus (which then you'd really be doing it wrong) and Traynor is great and everything but she ends up disappointing me with little to no interaction after shower coitus. I'm not going anywhere near that toe-headed allergic-reaction face of Aller's (wtf is up with that in a game known for it's faces her's is an abortion). I actually think I would bromance Cortez (if I played a Mshep ever again) because he's well written and the relationship that builds throughout the game makes sense. I think they put Vega in so you could get as close to having sex with a Krogan as possible without the quad-money-shot.

 

 

 

/end rant

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh yes right, my ancient Croatian knowledge weakened a bit.

Samara wont lesbo with you...why would you want to lesbo she's like...no.

 

Morinth sexes you...and then you die. Seriously you get the 'Critical mission failure' screen after secks.

I think Miranda is straight after all, I don't remember sorry. I remember I romanced her once with Mshep and her story was quite nice. The secks scene was creepy though.

Umm...you seriously don't want the doc. I was pretty sure there was an option for EDI? And there MUST be an option for Ashley. SHE'S NOT STRAIGHT I CAN SEE IT IN HER EYES.

 

Anyway sorry my wisdom left me there for a few minutes. I need to practice it more.

 

Bromance = a friendly intimate relationship which does not include sexual stuff. Cortez seems alright but he's black and no I'm not racist I just wanted Kaidan.

 

And yes you're right, you don't ride Garrus, he does you while standing OR he rides you. Any other way and you're doing it wrong.

 

Sadly you can't gaysex garrus which was a huge disappointment I wanted to see that since ME1 :(

Edited by Iv000
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...