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Funny Oblivion Incidents


Stampede

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This is some funny stuff. Ratfactor - you are one sick little puppy dog. Reminds me of the dark elf lady in the game who asks about the penalty for necrophilia. :P

 

Here's one for y'all. The first time I ever rode a horse in Oblivion, it was a stolen one. By accident. I found the poor beast getting chewed on by a wolf a mile or so west of Chorrol. Being a nice and friendly assassin, my character joined in and shot the wolf into bits. I mounted the horse (believe it or not, a black one!) and rode it all the way to the gates of the imperial city. I got off of the horse, then remembered something I had left behind and got back on right in front of the guard... who promptly arrested me for stealing it.

 

During a few Thieves' Guild quests, the waterfront ends up crawling with guards. I had managed to anger (and get away from) the pirates on the dock earlier. When I came back to work on said quest, the pirates attacked me... and the guards who were seconds before trying to interrogate me flew to my aid and slaughtered the poor pirates! It was about a twelve on three battle... the seadogs got obliterated. And yes... Heironomous Lex himself led the charge. I almost fell off of my chair laughing.

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When I found a dead Orc (I think he's the one in charge of property deeds) lying under the bridge leading to castle Skingrad naturally my first thought was "Did he jump or was he pushed?" wondering whether I'd stumbled across a murder mystery quest.

 

Since that didn't seem to be the case one can only admire Radiant AI which allows NPCs to realise the bleakness and meaninglessness of their existence and allows them to commit suicide. :happy:

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*dies laughing*

 

my gods some of these are great... I've seen a video where a wood elf is leading the player through this dungeon to some necromancers. Running blindly foward he fails to notice the tell tale blood sings on a floor section and runs onto it. at which time it promptly flies to the roof and crushes him... ehehehe

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This isn't necessarily RAI related, but it's hilarious:

 

I had a very wierd day of Oblivion today: today my character got drugged up on tree sap and slaughtered a whole village of innocent people while under the impression that they were goblins. Today my character burnt down a tree and commited a second mass-murder scene in the process. Today my character went inside another persons dream and ran around passages of dark light, flooded caverns, dart filled platforms and bloodied arena's, all the while collecting the remnants of their shattered head.

 

Today was weird day for my character.

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I have been mostly out raiding dungeons so haven't done a whole lotta anything yet.

 

I did see something really bizzare though. I was just out lootin in some dungeon that I forget where and I get to a lower floor and the ground is shaking, there is screaming and I find a place where it's very open except for these four walls in the middle of the room which are going up and down like automatic doors only they're walls. There is someone, glowing, screaming in the middle of it. I figure someone is trying to summon something NASTY and I hide round the corner, figured I'd walked in on a quest of some sort.

 

Eventually - after lots of rumbling, screaming, and wall slamming - it all stops. I venture back out to find an open room and a dead body.

 

Seems in this dungeon there's a trap that triggers the walls to go flying up and trap you in a room with poison gas.

 

Seems the bandit woman who had followed me had stepped the trap which triggered the walls to go up, but something had then triggered the walls to come down again right away, but she was still there so up they'd go, and all the while she's screamin coz there's poison and oh... it was pretty disturbing ... she didn't even have any good loot.

 

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I did accidently kill Umbra though at level 2. I'd just robbed some goblin hideout and got me a SWEET 7k goblin staff and just wandered in where Umbra lives at random, to find myself having my ASS handed to me in a bucket by this psycho woman - so I used the staff to block her attacks and slammed her with spells. She died and my staff was written off completely but I got a very sweeeet sword. Not really funny... although I did leave her naked on the floor and went off to sell her armour XD

 

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Also - I found the Unicorn and parked it outside a cave to loot... but when I got back it was nowhere to be seen. ... wonder where it went... I also found a herd of horses (wild ones) killing wolves. Bizzare.

 

Awesome thread.

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- -

 

I did accidently kill Umbra though at level 2. I'd just robbed some goblin hideout and got me a SWEET 7k goblin staff and just wandered in where Umbra lives at random, to find myself having my ASS handed to me in a bucket by this psycho woman - so I used the staff to block her attacks and slammed her with spells. She died and my staff was written off completely but I got a very sweeeet sword. Not really funny... although I did leave her naked on the floor and went off to sell her armour XD

 

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For another Umbra story...

 

I've always liked Conjuration as a skill in Morrowind and now in Oblivion. One noticeable difference with the new AI is that the monsters and NPCs are a lot more likely to chase the player summoning the critters rather than just fight the summoned critters until they are finally worn down. If I can successivly hide with my stealth ability this isn't an issue but at my level Umbra seemed awfully good at finding me. So most of my fight with Umbra consisted of me summoning Daedroth and Clannfear (switched to the latter since they are faster and caught up with Umbra more quickly to force her to pay attention for a bit) while running laps around a large hall with Umbra in hot pursuit swinging at me as fast as she could whenever she got close enough. I ended up using some healing potions and heal minor wounds as well. To a fly on the walll I'm sure that the spectacle of the Breton Witch hunter fleeing before Umbra and doing laps around the room must have been better than any Arena fight. Too bad noone was taking bets. I lost count of how many Daedroth and Clannfear it took but in the end it was another victory for Conjuration and rapidly regenerating Magicka.

 

For another entertaining anecdote, I originally talked with the thieves guild doyen and played the minigame to get his disposition to me to max while whatisname Lex, the head of the local city guards and the arch nemesis of the thieves guild was standing right next to us. And of course he has a specific dislike for the doyen of the Thieves Guild as well but he just stood casually by and wandered off when I was done with the conversation. Maybe there's a special artificial stupidity optin for the cops?

 

Later the same day after getting into the Thieves Guild, I accidentally got a bounty for pcikpocketing someone when I attempted to talk to them and forgot I was in stealth mode. The same local constable Lex then pursued me. While my conjured Daedroths seemed quite capable of dealing with him, apparently he's a key character so he's an immortal cop and just goes unconscious momentarily rather than dieing. I finally got away by swimming back and forth between the Imperial City waterfront and the coast opposite it using an amulte that has constant effect water breathing. Lex stayed in hot pursuit for quite a while and was there to whack at me when I surfaced most of the time or caught up quickly. I eventually lost him at some point so I could finally find the local Thieves Guild contact to buy off my bounty (which had escalated at that point since I'd also killed a guard (or actually my Daedroth did) in the process of running from the law as well.

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This one is more creppy than anything, but showcases how nuts the AI is in this game. So there I was, at a slow trot on my horse on the road from Anvil to Kvatch and I saw something dead in the middle of the road. Upon further inspection I realized it was a horse (really creepy) and two dead clanfear lying dead next to it. I sharply look to my right and there's a gate, and naturally, I have to investigate. There were lots of enemies around, but there were also 4 road guards in one of the most rediculous melee fights I've seen. I just stood there and watched them battle it out...the guards won by a landslide.

 

Another interesting incident occured when I was doing the Anvil Mage Guild recommendation quest. So here I was running along with 2 battlemages following behind. I finally come across the rogue mage and she tries to kill me (of course) and my two counterparts run up. In the process the rogue mage summons a skeleton, and my two helpers descend on it while I'm still fighting her. Out of the corner of my eye comes running a road guard and starts attacking the skeleton. After I finish taking her down, the legionare and one of the battlemages starts fighting it out, with the other standing around watching (at this point, I have no idea what's going on). Once the guard takes down the battlemage, the other starts wailing on the guard with absorb health spells; she wins. I just stood there in awe, at first I was tempted to go help out my Mage Guild companion, but then decided that they should settle their own disputes.

 

And the most amussing AI experience so far was when I was walking along a road and all of a sudden the comat music starts. I draw my sword and turn to see 5 deer running across the road into the woods. I'm thinking, "that makes no sense". Just as I put my sword away, a band of 3 bandits goes running across the road, hot on the trail of the deer, with their axes drawn. My eyes got really big and I just started balling histerically.

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Is there anything funnier than sending an opponent flying off his feet with your thrust attack? I sent a heavily armoured dremora flying backwards off a tower walkway....about oh, 4 stories down to his death.

 

And this one, is just so sick it's hilarious. An enraged dremora in robes ran towards me in a narrow passage screaming and swinging his weapon when all of a sudden KA-CHUNG a massive scissor like blade chopped into him...I mean it really went into him, right down the middle and between his legs. Then it lifted back up PICKING HIM UP WITH IT as it was still in his now twitching body. (Seriously it was twitching and writhing.)

 

Poor male without a father, I pointed and laughed.

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