Relationships with non-gamers...don't work...

[SpellAndShield]

Now, I am overlooking the fact that 99% percent of relationships don't work out anyway for all sorts of reasons, none of which has to do with gaming but let's pretend we live in an imaginary world where they do work most of the time for the sake of argument.

 

In my experience, people who don't game really don't get it if you DO game. I mean, just as an example, the past weekend I spent about 30 hours playing ME2 and whilst that might be pathological, most gamers would understand. Non-gaming exes did not understand me playing even 3 hours of uninterrupted PC games. I have come to the conclusion that having relationships with people who are not gamers is a serious no-go and cannot work.

 

Your thoughts on the matter?

[ub3rman123]

Just 30 hours? That's not much.

[peridos]

Now, I am overlooking the fact that 99% percent of relationships don't work out anyway for all sorts of reasons, none of which has to do with gaming but let's pretend we live in an imaginary world where they do work most of the time for the sake of argument.

 

In my experience, people who don't game really don't get it if you DO game. I mean, just as an example, the past weekend I spent about 30 hours playing ME2 and whilst that might be pathological, most gamers would understand. Non-gaming exes did not understand me playing even 3 hours of uninterrupted PC games. I have come to the conclusion that having relationships with people who are not gamers is a serious no-go and cannot work.

 

Your thoughts on the matter?

 

Exactly so! I spend about 18 hours a day gaming, most of the time. What we all need is a gf/bf who is into gaming too, so that they understand. (Also, so they can play 2-playered games with us! :)

 

Peridos

 

 

[SpellAndShield]

Now, I am overlooking the fact that 99% percent of relationships don't work out anyway for all sorts of reasons, none of which has to do with gaming but let's pretend we live in an imaginary world where they do work most of the time for the sake of argument.

 

In my experience, people who don't game really don't get it if you DO game. I mean, just as an example, the past weekend I spent about 30 hours playing ME2 and whilst that might be pathological, most gamers would understand. Non-gaming exes did not understand me playing even 3 hours of uninterrupted PC games. I have come to the conclusion that having relationships with people who are not gamers is a serious no-go and cannot work.

 

Your thoughts on the matter?

 

Exactly so! I spend about 18 hours a day gaming, most of the time. What we all need is a gf/bf who is into gaming too, so that they understand. (Also, so they can play 2-playered games with us! :)

 

Peridos

 

 

 

I don't spend that much...wow. I usually only do marathon runs with games when I get them fresh, now that I have played through ME2 a few times I will play more sporadically. Still, more non-gamers don't understand any gaming time...sigh.

[WrathOfDeadguy]

I think I'd have to meet a special woman for a gamer-nongamer relationship to work for me... when one of your favorite hobbies is something that eats hours of time and commands your full attention while doing so, it kinda sucks when you can't share it with the most important person in your life. IMHO, anything which separates a couple because one of them hates doing it- or just doesn't care to- isn't good under most circumstances. It's a time-intensive activity which can make the uninterested party feel neglected and left out. I don't see that being very good for a budding relationship. I don't know that it'd be a deal-breaker, however; if she really were that special and we worked that well together, then it'd probably be fine. I know a few gamer-nongamer couples and they get along fine- they understand that each simply enjoys a few things that the other doesn't. I also know a few couples who wouldn't have even met if they weren't both gamers. I've also known one pair that broke up specifically because one couldn't stand the other's favorite pastime (it wasn't gaming, though). It's just another activity- if shared, it can strengthen a relationship, or it could break it apart... or not have much of an effect at all. It's different for everyone.

 

I would just much rather spend my life with a woman I can shoot, camp, hike, dive, and co-op with, if she's out there. :)

[ginnyfizz]

Good grief, I would never find the time to play for 18 hours a day, what with working full time AND being a carer for my elderly parents. Even as a gamer myself, I would find it very hard to understand someone playing that long.

[brokenergy]

18 hours a day? Mate I don't even play that much in a day, let alone a week. I think the serious problem is balance and understanding. People need understand that video games in recent years are more towards the adults and late teen, with more mature and darker themes. I remember that there was a kid 'forcing' his grandmother to by GTA4 and the grandmother didn't know a thing about video games. Now the problem is that people think that video games are for kids when it is the exact opposite and people who play video games don't really know how to stop themselves. So the gamers will have to make sacrifices and the non-gamers will need to understand modern games. This is the basis of relationships; balance and understanding.

[Illiad86]

haha 18 hours...that was a normal bout of gaming for me back in the day. I used to come home from school, do my homework, and play games until it was time for dinner, play the game and eat dinner at the same time, then play til bed haha. The weekends were far worse. You get burnt out on it after awhile. Ya find out that games these days either suck or are way too damn easy and you just don't play that much anymore. That's me atleast. I'm down to maybe 3 hours a day...it really depends on what I'm playing. But I have a house to keep and dishes to do lol so I can't play all the time.

 

 

I'm not too sure...as I've only been in the relationship I've been in for 6 years...and my boyfriend is a gamer. It's all about compromise and balance in relationships. I don't complain if he plays all day, it's what he likes to do.

[DarkNinja13]

A few years back my sister was talking to a co-worker of hers who was complaining that her boyfriend played video games. He'd play 4-5 hours a day, and about 8 on the weekends. As this girl was reaching the apex of her tirade, my sister jumped in on her and said, "My boyfriend does that too, and I don't mind". The other gal was stunned and wanted to know how my sister could be okay with it. My sister gave this answer:

 

"I always know where my boyfriend is. He's not out doing drugs, he's not out getting drunk and getting thrown in jail, he's not out causing trouble, and he's not out screwing half the city. He's down in the basement playing Grand Theft Auto or something. So that is why I have no issue with it at all."

 

The thing is there are too many people out there that don't just want to be be a part of your universe, they want to be the centre of it so that everything you do revolves around them, and nothing else. People like this (in my opinion) are both a cancer to the world and a blight on society. If you are an avid gamer (you do more than just game), you should be able to continue as such, even though you are in a relationship - each one of you should be able to have a hobby. If I had a girlfriend who was big on scrapbooking, I wouldn't stop her but I wouldn't join in with her on her projects either since I think scrapbooking is stupid (but I would keep that opinion to myself - she likes it/not MY thing). Likewise, if she didn't care for games, I wouldn't try to force gaming on her if she felt that games were "childish" but if she were to get "on" me about it, I would explain that games are my "drug of choice". I would be willing to forego a game day, to sped time running around with her all day (besides, getting out of the house every now and then is a good thing for both parties). :thumbsup:

 

So what is needed to make a gamer/non-gamer relationship work is compromise, understanding, respect for each other and each other's interests, and the freedom to indulge those interests. Which is great - that also happens to be the recipie for making a relationship work period. :wink:

[SpellAndShield]

haha 18 hours...that was a normal bout of gaming for me back in the day. I used to come home from school, do my homework, and play games until it was time for dinner, play the game and eat dinner at the same time, then play til bed haha. The weekends were far worse. You get burnt out on it after awhile. Ya find out that games these days either suck or are way too damn easy and you just don't play that much anymore. That's me atleast. I'm down to maybe 3 hours a day...it really depends on what I'm playing. But I have a house to keep and dishes to do lol so I can't play all the time.

 

 

I'm not too sure...as I've only been in the relationship I've been in for 6 years...and my boyfriend is a gamer. It's all about compromise and balance in relationships. I don't complain if he plays all day, it's what he likes to do.

 

Uhm, because you are a gamer too.