Relationships with non-gamers...don't work...

[grannywils]

Having read all of the above and finding it quite fascinating, may I say that I am in a long term (10 years) relationship with a non-gamer, and it works out just fine. We each have interests in common and separate interests, i.e. gaming in my case, for one. We believe in sharing and in giving each other space. We love and respect each other, and I don't think that gaming or not gaming really plays much of a role in the success of our relattionship.

[Aurielius]

It is relatively easy to have a relationship with a non gamer as long as you have your priorities straight, meaning that real life takes precedence over fantasy life. I have been married for 34 years with a non gamer and she doesn't mind at all, as long as I pay attention to what is more important...her. Though she does have a peculiar knack of walking in at the penultimate moment of a game and wanting to discuss something..but thats what the pause button is for. A good woman beats a good game any day of the week. Just my two cents....

[Lindy]

At least playing games is way more entertaining than when he watches baseball :(

[Vindekarr]

Live and let live.

 

Someone worth loving will accept you for who you are, to a point. I think a relationship with a non gamer can work, because if you are worthy of that person's love and they are worthy of yours, then they should be able to accept who you are not expect you to change who you are to suit them.

 

Its all well and good to look for the perfect soul mate but if someone is 99% perfect, its not your right to try and alter their personality to make them 100% perfect. Certainly, if someone has a problem, like an addiction or a criminal habit of some form or another, or if they play 18 hours a day, then by all means you should offer them help. But it isnt right to try and dictate what someone enjoys in their daily life simply because you dont like that, I mean, obviously it would help if the person you loved was a gamer, it would make it a lot easier to talk to them, but they dont HAVE to be a gamer.

 

We arent a race apart or the lunatic fringe. We can co exist perfectly well with other people, gamers or not. In my personal experience gaming is the least of problems. Try explaining a writing career to a girl who barely reads and you'll know what Im talking about. My last relationship lasted exactly as long as it took her to get into my study. One look at the pile of astronomic maps, piles upon piles of sketches and half finished manuscripts, the map of the Local Cluster and worst of all the 1 1/2 foot tall statue of a Xenomorph's skull on my desk and she came back down stairs and simply said "explain". Now, in most situations, I would take a deep breath and rant for an hour about writing science fiction, but she didnt give me an hour, she gave me ten seconds, then looked at me like I was insane and left.

 

Gaming is becoming increasingly explainable, but a study full of books papers and memorabilia is still not. While a lot of people dont understand video gamers, its a lot harder to find someone who understands painting, or writing, or any other artform.

[JimboUK]

We've been together 13 years and she has no interest in gaming at all, I think it's healthy to have separate hobbies.

[Marthos]

Gaming is becoming increasingly explainable, but a study full of books papers and memorabilia is still not. While a lot of people dont understand video gamers, its a lot harder to find someone who understands painting, or writing, or any other artform.

 

 

This is true, I'm a bookworm as well as a middleaged gamer PC geek, (currently rereading The Big Bang by Simon Singh at the mo, just finished Fermats Last Theorem and have a stack of Scientific Americans to get through that I found at a car boot sale) and the amount of people I know that say things like:

 

"You read books ? Oh".

 

Yet when they want to know something they call me, if I'm feeling mischievous I tell em to (yeah, you guessed it) go read a book :biggrin:

[Surenas]

Please don't mistake apples for oranges. Taken by itself gaming doesn't lead to education, reading does. This includes e.g. chess strategy books as well, cos nothing comes from nothing. Back to topic. Make your partner happy, for only a happy partner loves to share. Selfishness is the privilege of a classical single (in a shared flat) and not that of a workable relationship.

[Vindekarr]

The problem is finding a partner you can make happy.

 

 

Because finding the right person is very very dificult. And to make it worse usualy the people most owrth talking to usualy are the most unhinged, ugly, or just down right wierd people in the room. Its not a matter of making people happy that screws up relations ships IME, Its people being unable to accept others for what they are and demanding change.

 

In my experience usualy relationships that dont work stop working not because of someone being unable to please their partner and give them what they need, but that one person wants the other to be someone they just aren't, happened to me enough times thats for sure.

[Surenas]

The problem is finding a partner you can make happy.

 

 

Because finding the right person is very very dificult. And to make it worse usualy the people most owrth talking to usualy are the most unhinged, ugly, or just down right wierd people in the room. Its not a matter of making people happy that screws up relations ships IME, Its people being unable to accept others for what they are and demanding change.

 

In my experience usualy relationships that dont work stop working not because of someone being unable to please their partner and give them what they need, but that one person wants the other to be someone they just aren't, happened to me enough times thats for sure.

 

Don't search but be easy to be found. The inexperienced searcher (resp. his banana) merely thinks that he'd have an option, thus figuratively playing an alien role by force - the come on line; actually he has none, normally. Try to remember your Saturday Night frustrations in the past, boys ... ^^

The key is, you have to be present on the market, the real one, not the virtual one, for the runs are as epidemic on the internet as the macho men are in real life. Move your ass and go for a night out, changes that relate to you will happen soon enough, e.g. modified clothing and body care.

Folks that feel some interest for each other always try to cable on a similar frequency, approaching one another, accepting the remaining differences (e.g. hobbies), and that's caused by mutual fascination. Consequently that doesn't mean to become one with the stronger, dominating character, cos that model fails in the end, and sometimes the end comes already after the first one-night stand when he's still in the virtual blue world and she's already up and away in the real one.

Don't talk about sex at an early stage, leave it up to her, guys, for an experienced woman knows that the he who babbles to much about his abilities in the run-up won't be able to come up with the goods later.

 

Good luck ;)

[Pyrosocial]

Well we can allways convert them.

But perhaps on dating websites we should be able to list our gaming genras we are into XD

 

Anyways i think it could work, but you just woulden't be able to play as much.

Remember the comcial were the little kid is asking playstation advice?

 

"Dear playstation, my brother stole my PSP, what do i do?"

"Not as dumb as he looks then huh?"

"-laughs- no, but seriously, he has my mod nation racers."

-skips game description-

"if he is buzy with your psp, i'm sure his lady freind could use some one to talk to."