Relationships with non-gamers...don't work...

[Theonewhoisodd]

While it seems most Gamer/Non-Gamer relationships don't work there are some that do if handled properly. I have been dating this woman six months and for the longest time was an addicted PS3 gamer. Now I have bought my first PC game and it's in a whole new ball park.

 

At first I wasn't sure how it was going to work me being addicted, and for a few weeks it didn't work well. Now after showing her the game and letting her test it she has loosened up about me playing and I have begun playing less. If both parties try a Gamer/Non-Gamer relationship can in fact work but the parties have to be willing.

[Trandoshan]

I'm a sad person. I have very few 'friends' outside of the black box that consumes my life daily. I agree with the title of this thread because my ego (Well, lack of in real life) and lack of social skills have been ruined because of gaming and modding. I might appear as an pretty headstrong guy in the forums, but in reality I'm the shiest person you may ever meet...

 

It's funny how the internet and gaming anonymity can cause personality dysfunction. It's that barrier between what is real and what is not, and the barrier between whether that guy can physically harm you if you piss him off or him getting perturbed and unable to do anything to you online that makes people love forums like this so much.

 

You lose a sense of self when your life is centered around e-mails, games, and forums. You sort of lose your 'voice' when that shell called anonymous is removed. Oh... and you get to actually fact-check online to support arguments between other anonymous people. You can't do that off-line, and your every word risks embarrassment. An intimate relationship suffers even more under that auspice.

 

Glad to get that off my chest.

[brokenergy]

Trandoshan you are not sad, you are just shy. Guess what, I shy too (really, it's true) :biggrin: So hey I understand what you are talking about because shy people and computers don't really mix when it comes to social circles (it is really difficult to talk to someone face to face, you feel like everyone is watching you and one wrong step could cause Armageddon). You can become someone else in a forum while your real self can't even communicate to someone. I feel like this place is giving me back my lost voice and I hope to use this in real life situations where you can talk to someone and feel confident about it. So to all those shy people in the forum who have found their voice, I would like to say that you are not on your own. So let us all come together to become stronger people.

[Vindekarr]

No, you arent sad.

 

Shy people really DO exist, likewise do wierd people, and computer people.

 

I am all three.

 

Im also perhaps unusual in that I manage to be antisocial online AND offline. Ive gone through a total of six clans in EVE online, which is rather sedentary for me, compared to all my gaming, in which I tend to move form place to place alot. In this modern age many of us get used to communicating via the intermediary of a computer. There is nothing wrong with that, but it can make us vulnerable when that intermediary is stripped away. Most people have a layer of pure fantasy they wrap around themselves. A false personality that acts like a layer of emotional armour. The best way to hide who you truly are is to introduce someone to a "you" that is entirely fabricated. You show yourself as a predictable individual of X or Y personality, you hold the illusion, and only reveal your true self to people you really trust.

 

These illusions arent really lies, or deceits, but they are a cover. And this "shelter" gives us a sense of safety. In hiding behind a persona, letting only a part of the real you escape, you're in most situations, simply protecting what you are and who you are, and thats healthy. The only risk is that of the mask becoming the man.

 

Everyone I know hides their heart to a degree, how many people do you know, truly KNOW, in the "real" world? Its something that really complicates relationships, because if you really love someone then you trust them, but how do you know you havent fallen in love with an illusion?

[Paxan_1]

Hi guys,

 

life is to short to be shy :laugh:

Girls won't bite if you talk to them (i think most of them). If a girl stands around alone on a party do you think she wants to be there alone or have a buddy for a little chat. And what will happen if she won't? You won't die or loose your soul. You are afraid what others are thinking? What do you think of a boy who tries to talk to a girl? It isn't that bad, believe me :laugh:

[Surenas]

Hi guys,

 

life is to short to be shy :laugh:

Girls won't bite if you talk to them (i think most of them). If a girl stands around alone on a party do you think she wants to be there alone or have a buddy for a little chat. And what will happen if she won't? You won't die or loose your soul. You are afraid what others are thinking? What do you think of a boy who tries to talk to a girl? It isn't that bad, believe me :laugh:

 

You guys have just to give up the figment of the imagination of women as pure sex objects, ready for submission, or you will end up in the realm of mama. Try it out :)

[Paxan_1]

You guys have just to give up the figment of the imagination of women as pure sex objects, ready for submission, or you will end up in the realm of mama. Try it out :)

 

We can talk, too. :yes:

[Surenas]

We can talk, too. :yes:

 

You have to prove it in real life, not here :thumbsup:

Actually a gamer / non-gamer relationship isn't a big problem, as long as the gamer doesn't sit mummified in front of the keyboard, the face directed to the screen with a total of just a few spoken sentences per day :wacko:

For those who feel heavily disturbed whenever the partner asks a question or somethin' it is almost too late :devil:

[Paxan_1]

We can talk, too. :yes:

 

You have to prove it in real life, not here :thumbsup:

Actually a gamer / non-gamer relationship isn't a big problem, as long as the gamer doesn't sit mummified in front of the keyboard, the face directed to the screen with a total of just a few spoken sentences per day :wacko:

For those who feel heavily disturbed whenever the partner asks a question or somethin' it is almost too late :devil:

 

The same way i'm thinking. I don't have a problem if my boyfriend is playing games, if i'm not there or i have to do other things. I'm playing myself some games, but to be honest i've spent 60h in DAO since i bought it. So if he set his priorities the right way it is okay for me. The last one didn't :down:

[SilverDNA]

I will state this as neutral as I can....

It will work on any relationship differences you can come up with.

 

It all comes down on this between two people creating a working relationship as base rules:

 

- There must be a base of understanding each other. (Common interest are a good base but I most working relationships I know of are based on supporting each other like a ying and yang symbol.)

 

- The communication between sender and receiver in a relationship should not be flawed or disrupted.

(I will not go to the length of exploiting this further because there can be made much comments on the different intellect and social views of sender and receiver which may lead us to a bickering between us and it is the opposite of what I intend to do here.)

 

- A relation ship is based on taking and giving. Everyone decides to what length He/She is willing to take or give for its own. Else it has to be argued out with on another on the base of communication.

 

-The priorities of these base rules may vary from personal views and from situation to situation.

 

The only thing that would be additional good for a relationship would be a high tolerance for the habits and views other people have. This is optional because not everyone has the same level of tolerance every time for everything and not necessary for the same reason. So this is no rule.

 

 

If these things that are posted above go mainly undisputed and are widely accepted, cause I fear there might be someone to start a battle of arguments, be it either unknowingly or on purpose, with points that lead us to no end, as to close this topic. Those argument that lead us to points that are should in my opinion be handled in other separate other topics cause they will be involving different views of intellect in a relationship, communication in a relationship(detailed), socialization differences and philosophy (the view of the world), which all are important to relationships. This leads to two questions that one has to answer for himself of the beginning of a relationship. "Is the person involved worth working on a relationship and I'm ready to work on this relationship?"

 

As the announcers before me stated all that is necessary for a working relationship between a gamer and a non gamers I think it is the right time to ask politely that this topic should be closed.