I need help.

[Vindekarr]

Good luck to you with that, I mean it.

 

Human weakness and stupidity is the biggest thing holding us back as a species. Your father may think he is fine but he is not, likewise, nations who think they are strong, are often the weakest, but ignore that and cause international conflicts due to their own arrogance and stupidity.

 

More than anything it looks like your father needs help with his drinking problem. Alcahol is a real problem and it can mess your mind up something aweful-my grandfolks on my ma's side had a pretty aweful drinking problem, so that's why I only ever drink 1 glass a day maximum.

 

It's never too late to quit a damaging habit, though "cold turkey" doesnt work. he needs p-rofesional help, AA for example, it just takes time.

[DarkNinja13]

I have to admit, while I am not one for the "Sin of Spin", here is something you might try....

 

Sit dad down, with mom there as well, and explain to him that you are worried that over time the drinking will destroy his health and that he'll no longer be able to take care of the things he wants to or needs to.

 

This ploy, basically paints him out to be a victim in a way, but you are not the accuser - you are a voice of reason and you want to help him to help himself. In order for this to work, mom cannot say anything unless it is to back you up. You have only one shot at doing it this way. If either of you starts finger-pointing and accusing, he's just going to shut you both out or worse, another fight will break out. So use your smarts; empathize, diffuse, correct, continue.

 

I know it sounds strange to do it this way but, the easiest way to get people to do what you want is to make it look like you are doing them a favour. The beauty of this situation is that it doesn't just look like it, you are doing him a favour. So that will help you to drive your point home.

[Illiad86]

Sit dad down, with mom there as well, and explain to him that you are worried that over time the drinking will destroy his health and that he'll no longer be able to take care of the things he wants to or needs to.

 

yes...it's just the same as smoking. I've seen two people die from alcoholism in my short life....it's horrible :(

[antonkr]

I have to admit, while I am not one for the "Sin of Spin", here is something you might try....

 

Sit dad down, with mom there as well, and explain to him that you are worried that over time the drinking will destroy his health and that he'll no longer be able to take care of the things he wants to or needs to.

 

This ploy, basically paints him out to be a victim in a way, but you are not the accuser - you are a voice of reason and you want to help him to help himself. In order for this to work, mom cannot say anything unless it is to back you up. You have only one shot at doing it this way. If either of you starts finger-pointing and accusing, he's just going to shut you both out or worse, another fight will break out. So use your smarts; empathize, diffuse, correct, continue.

 

I know it sounds strange to do it this way but, the easiest way to get people to do what you want is to make it look like you are doing them a favour. The beauty of this situation is that it doesn't just look like it, you are doing him a favour. So that will help you to drive your point home.

I guess that might work. Ill try it but I need to mentally prepare for it.

[Keanumoreira]

Good luck to you with that, I mean it.

 

Human weakness and stupidity is the biggest thing holding us back as a species. Your father may think he is fine but he is not, likewise, nations who think they are strong, are often the weakest, but ignore that and cause international conflicts due to their own arrogance and stupidity.

 

More than anything it looks like your father needs help with his drinking problem. Alcahol is a real problem and it can mess your mind up something aweful-my grandfolks on my ma's side had a pretty aweful drinking problem, so that's why I only ever drink 1 glass a day maximum.

 

It's never too late to quit a damaging habit, though "cold turkey" doesnt work. he needs p-rofesional help, AA for example, it just takes time.

 

That isn't true, we are all strong, even if we don't know it. Humans are the smartest things in Earths History, so smart that we can determine our fate. We, as an intelligent race, are strong enough mentally to overcome anything. It's not the case that persuasion is impossible, rather it is a case of how difficult it is to carry out. NEVER believe that you as an individual are weak, because this isn't true. We may not be fast, or muscular, or deadly with our body, but there is one thing that we have that can accomplish every problem; Our brains, and when put together, we can solve the universes most challenging mysteries. The same applies here, put you and your parents brains together and think it out, I mean REALLY think it out. That muscle up there is faster, and more complex then this computer I'm using or any computer for that matter. This simple organ is all you need, and if your Dad really is a good Dad which I'm sure he is, then he will listen to his, and realize that what he's doing has a much more rapid dead end.

[DarkNinja13]

yes...it's just the same as smoking. I've seen two people die from alcoholism in my short life....it's horrible :(

Illiad....hon, you and I are gonna have to agree to disagree on this one, because I say drinking is worse than smoking could ever be.

 

Smokers have their lungs, mouths, trachea, and so forth attacked by the carcienogens in the nicotine. And that's bad (being a smoker myself, I know). Beacause of this, smokers are more prone to bronchitus, pneumonia, respitory infections, and of course - emphezyma.

 

Drinkers on the other hand, the alcohol damages the stomach, intestines (large and small), liver, and in some cases the kidneys - it attacks your body's ability to process food and eliminate wastes (digestive and endocine systems). Additionally, it affects the brain and causes muscle tissue to atrophy as well as interferes with the body's ability to heal itself and fight off disease.

 

Now, should both quit, the smoker has better chances of physically recovering from that addition than a drinker does due to the permenance of the damage done by alcohol (particularly to the brain and liver).

 

However.....

A recovering alcoholic has a better chance of kicking their habit and keeping it kicked. I say this since, despite the fact that heroin is the most addictive drug know to man, nicotine addiction is harder to break. Nicotine addiction is just as psychological as it is physical (if not moreso), whereas alcohol is more chemical than anything else.

[Illiad86]

I smoke myself *cough* Been messing with my throat as of late....smoking's bad mmmkay kiddos? Never start, I regret it...and holy heck it's gonna be fun trying to quit...

 

they both mess you up and yeah...I'd say drinking does far more damage like you said. I watched someone turn yellow from liver failure and start hallucinating and stuff...not pretty. His legs were all shot too...losing their strength. Crazy stuff, don't touch the juice too much after seeing that. It's easier to quit booze, but much like smokes, if you quit too late...your body can't repair the damage.

 

Anton, hun, how's it going now? Have you talked to him yet? If your dad can beat the smoking demon, he can beat the drinking demon :)

[TheCalliton]

I smoke myself *cough* Been messing with my throat as of late....smoking's bad mmmkay kiddos? Never start, I regret it...and holy heck it's gonna be fun trying to quit...

 

they both mess you up and yeah...I'd say drinking does far more damage like you said. I watched someone turn yellow from liver failure and start hallucinating and stuff...not pretty. His legs were all shot too...losing their strength. Crazy stuff, don't touch the juice too much after seeing that. It's easier to quit booze, but much like smokes, if you quit too late...your body can't repair the damage.

 

Anton, hun, how's it going now? Have you talked to him yet? If your dad can beat the smoking demon, he can beat the drinking demon :)

actually, alchohol is the hardest to quit

one of my teachers told me about this guy. You named it, he'd done it. He had cleaned himself up and did talks at school, and the one thing he said was hardest to quitm was alchohol... probably because its legal

[grannywils]

Anton: You started this thread under the heading that you needed help, and I for one totally agree. We have spent a lot of time discussing alcoholism and how hard it is to quit drinking vs smoking, etc. But my concern right now is for you, and to some extent for your mom. I don't mean to sound harsh. Your dad can and should get help too. But you can get assistance with seeking help for him once you have gotten yourself to a place where there are people who are in the same boat you're in and have the experience and resources necessary to guide you. Please look up AlAnon in the phone book and give them a call. You need to start somewhere. You are a youngster. You should not have to burden yourself with being in charge of fixing this. You didn't create it, and you do not have to fix it. Get yourself some help first. Then start worrying about what can be done about your dad and possibly your mom. Please listen to me.

[DarkNinja13]

Agreed, and to get back on topic....

Grannywils is right, but I still say you'll need to get your dad squared away first. No amount of help will do you or your mother any good unless he begins to change - it would be like putting a cast on a compound fracture without closing the wounds first.

 

So get your dad helped first, then the rest of you (or even all of you if family counselling is viable).