morogoth35 Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Hi guys, I just wanted to share my story that I made for a Paladin. I am NOT going to go into details about what my playstyle is or anything of the sort. I just wanted to share my story for my new character. (keep in mind, this is the first time I even thought about a story for my character. Hope you like it. If you don't, could you be so kind to post a few suggestions or something like that? Thanks in advance! Story: I'm a breton born and raised in Cyrodiil. My mother was a priestess of the Divines that designated her whole life to help and aid others. When I was young I was always facinated by the art of healing, the way restoration powers could heal wounds and cure diseases just seemed so facinating to me. My father used to work the forge and sell his steel to the empire of Cyrodiil. He made a lot of money working the forge. More money that he could spend. But he was a really close minded person. Only thought about himself. He could have made the lives of many better if he wasn't so self centered. I even used to help the miners by bringing food and water down to the mines. All was well and good but then one night, Necromancers came to our house and killed both my parents. I managed to escape the house just before they found me. Since that night I have been trying to figure out what to do with my life. I made up my mind. I would travel to Skyrim and try start a new life there. I had one goal in mind. To defeat all evil that plague this land and to demand retribution on all evil enteties. Right before I left Cyrodiil I had one goal in mind - to avenge my parents and become a holy knight, a warrior of the light - a Paladin. When I first entered Skyrim I didn't know where to go, I had no idea of what I was supposed to do next. Before I knew it, the sun dissapeared beneath the mountains and I had to set up camp. During the night I contemplated what I would do the next day and where I would go. I finally made up my mind and decided to sleep the night in my camp and during the early hours of the morning I would pack up my things and head into the woods. I was convinced I'd find a little village if I just wentured a bit. Then I fell asleep. I woke up suddenly, I heard what sounded like fighting just a few meters away. I peeked out of my tent and suddenly, all went black. I woke up in what seemed like a prison. My hands and feet were bound and I could hear the screams of other people in the cells close by. We were trapped. I couldn't keep track of the days that went by but I guessed we were trapped in there for two weeks. We didn't get any food for all that time. I was ready to die. The last willpower I had just left my mind and soul. I layed down on the cold cell floor and passed out. I woke up in a carriage with three other men. We stopped at Helgen to be executed but then just as the headsman raised his axe a dragon appeard out of nowhere and in the mass confusion I managed to escape. This is where my story begins... note: since I were starved in that prison for 2 weeks I picked the skinniest body size possible for role playing purposes. The cool thing is that I also will use "Pumping Iron" so my character can put on weight and muscle by working.
Boombro Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 For a first time story, this is good! But why did Necromancers would attack his house? Robbing a grave is way easier and safer then attacking a house and that for sure. If you want him to hate evil spell casters, why not the oblivion crisis? Everything went dawn because of it. Even the mages guild, making mages fearsome and making people class-ist (get it?) classrism! Say it fast! Also how is even possible that his father earns so much? I highly doubt that blacksmiths would earn a lot of gold from only selling steel to the empire. He will not be the only blacksmith working on such a thing. And mostly since he is supplying them by huge amounts, he would need a lot of steel ingots and a lot of money. He also has a family and wife that does not work. Rendering them poor. From what we know from the son, it seems they work in small mining village (hens the mine.) If the father was earning and working for the empire, he should have a shop at a place like the market distract in the main city. Making even the attack on the house more odd, since the place is well guarded. If the father was so selfish, why did he marry a priestess like his wife? Was she that hot in healing robes? What the son meant by self centered in exact? Isn't making sword for the army time wasting, making working on anything else a bad idea? Why Skyrim? Why not stay home? His house was attacked, he did not run from jail to need to start a new life far away somewhere unknown. From what we know, he would seek out those who killed his parents as a traveling healer and help fix iron and steel stuff. Also the skyrim intro is about taking the rebels and killing them right away, why the two weeks halt? I think it would a better idea to make him chase some evil spell casters across the border.
Relinquish3d Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 (edited) Most of the roleplaying stories I've read are:- my parents this- my mother that- my father blah- one night out of the blue they got killed- i'll become a powerful hero to avenge them/a shadow in the night to assassinate their killers/a mighty blablabla I'm not saying it's bad, except for the overly repeated fascination with restoration, it's just pretty common. For a first time roleplaying it's quite decent actually, but you left a lot of details behind like @Boombro pointed out. Some things don't make much sense, but to make a really good story you need a lot of gameplay hours not only in Skyrim but in previous TES games.btw; Live Another Life if you're not using it yet, you should, it's amazing for roleplaying. Edited January 20, 2015 by Relinquish3d
Boombro Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 Most of the roleplaying stories I've read are:- my parents this- my mother that- my father blah- one night out of the blue they got killed- i'll become a powerful hero to avenge them/a shadow in the night to assassinate their killers/a mighty blablabla I'm not saying it's bad, except for the overly repeated fascination with restoration, it's just pretty common. For a first time roleplaying it's quite decent actually, but you left a lot of details behind like @Boombro pointed out. Some things don't make much sense, but to make a really good story you need a lot of gameplay hours not only in Skyrim but in previous TES games. btw; Live Another Life if you're not using it yet, you should, it's amazing for roleplaying.I agree, but this as you said Rp, not a grand, well written novel. So cliches are okay.
morogoth35 Posted January 20, 2015 Author Posted January 20, 2015 Yeah, there is indeed major flaws in this story. I just had an idea and didn't put a lot of time into the story. The story ended up to be really cliche with huge flaws but I'm quite happy with it. I agree completely that the story is super cliche with huge flaws that I didn't actually see in the first place. Thanks for reading it and pointing this stuff out. :)
Boombro Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 Yeah, there is indeed major flaws in this story. I just had an idea and didn't put a lot of time into the story. The story ended up to be really cliche with huge flaws but I'm quite happy with it. I agree completely that the story is super cliche with huge flaws that I didn't actually see in the first place. Thanks for reading it and pointing this stuff out. :smile:No problem, if you like it go with it, after all it your RP backstory. But I think the build you looking for is witch hunter, not Paladin.
notmyhome Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 I'm curious, how do other people role-play the total lack of living relatives the Dragonborn has?
Boombro Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 I'm curious, how do other people role-play the total lack of living relatives the Dragonborn has?That easy. I write with take notes of the dragonborn some letters for my parents in black marsh. There are many npcs is skyrim form other places that talks about living forever in it and they don't seem to cry about it much. I think after being with RP, my dragonborn visits her parents. Also running from home, growing up trip, looking for real parents as adopted etc. You don't have to kill them to start a story, even though it common as hell when it comes to the media, it always the family or lover that dies for the hero to be the hero. lol. Also it easy to think as some of the npcs as your parents or siblings:I heard about this girl that treated the mara priest follower as her father, because he always calls her my daughter and advises her. Also another dude that role plays the dark brotherhood as a brother to the redguard. And I'm sure many treat some adoptable children as little sisters or brothers long lost, they say mother or father because of shock or something. The key is being creative.
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