help

[htomsirveauxjr]

We all lose somebody. Some people never had anybody to begin with. There does come a time when when two people let each other go, and while it hurts, you still remember the good times. And when you hurt, hurting yourself more does not fix anything. Now, more than ever, you need to seek some professional guidance. Hurting yourself won't make any situation better, so instead, try helping yourself. This thread is titled 'Help - please'. We can say what we want, but you are the only person who can do anything about it. Edited March 11, 2011 by htom sirveaux

[IndorilTheGreat]

I know how you feel - as much as I'm sure you hate to hear that, I do know.

 

I went through a similar experience when I was about your age (about a year ago for me). Things got really difficult, and I felt like my life was just stuck in a spiraling pit of doom that kept going down forever. Just when things hit rock bottom, life suddenly smiled upon me. The world just showed up at my front door one day and said, "Hello. I'm here to take a load off your shoulders."

 

Remember: Fortune favors the bold - so pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and give everyone a big smile! :D

 

Oh, and watching this always makes me feel better when I'm down on my luck. I hope that it helps you feel better as well. :yes:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVrW3zat2To&feature=player_detailpage

 

Cheers,

IndorilTheGreat

 

Edit: Whoops! Forgot to put the video in. I guess that's what happens when you reply while using an iPod Touch late at night... :rolleyes:

 

Well, it's in now (see above).

Edited March 11, 2011 by IndorilTheGreat

[HellsMaster]

How can you be nobody? Your the lounge lord remember? that MUST count for something!

[dthumb]

Don't let the negative define who you are, use it to change for the better.

Your girlfriend thinks your abusive, look back and remember the times when you enjoyed it. Then think hard, and I mean REALLY hard of the times when the two of you fought or disagreed on something. Dissect those moments and think who's fault it is... Was it hers or yours? Write them down and find a solution. It may have happened in the past but this will help you on future relationships.

But mind you don't linger on the 'what the heck happened' part, remember, you were together for all this time for a reason. You're both young give each other room to grow.

 

I personally didn't believe on that 'give each other space' thing until a few months ago. My girlfriend of 7 years broke up with me. She believes in marriage, I didn't. And to compensate, I showered her with gifts, superficial things. Still, the question often comes out now and then. As we grew older the question "when" came even more often, and it irritated me to no end. I started pushing her away unconsciously hoping she would stop asking. November 2010 she broke it up thru text. I was pissed!

 

Suddenly it popped up, this was my first ever relationship. It was her fifth and second serious relationship.We're both childish, we need to grow up. It's time to let go and find someone else.

 

Looking back thru all this (actually just now LOL), she had to do it and I have to accept. Sure we threatened one another with breakups in the past, but this was something we both need. She has a sister who just had a baby, she has offered to help with expenses and care not only for the baby, but also her parents and younger brother. I helped in the past, but I had my mother to take care of so I can’t give her as much as I wanted to. She needs to find someone else who can help her.

As for me, I’m still recovering. I need to fix up my life, find a job, and get more exercise. Hopefully muster enough courage to start submitting resumes by the end of the month. Wish me luck!

 

I actually wrote a 3 page story reply for you, but it was way too long. I'll PM it to you or post it somewhere at your request. Seven years of adventure's hard to summarize. :laugh:

 

As I'm sure you know cutting yourself wont help. That just results in more people pushing you away. There are simple ways to avoid depression but largely improves your mood:

 

1) Music- avoid the aggressive and sad stuff, look for something uplifting.

2) Video Games- AVOID IT, I know it's strange hearing it from someone in a gaming forum. But it helps you with your School Grades. Read your books. Very important.

3) Exercise- go outside, get some sun, jog, hike, sweat it out. This takes a bit of effort on your part. But this will definitely make you fell good in the long run. Nothing's better than looking at the mirror feeling "God I'm Sexy!" :thumbsup:

 

See your School Councilor. Talking to a stranger in person about your problems can be horrifying at first. But that's what they are there for. Problems like yours are more common than you think. My parents got their marriage annulled before I turned ten, bad grades all the way. If my relatives hadn't reach out to me, I'd be dead before I turned 18.

Ask your parents about issues in the household. Be part of the family. Propose to help each other.

[TheCalliton]

thanks all

things have been sorta patched with my girlfriend... she isnt having the best time of her life right now either.

I'm feeling a little better. Someone gave me a good pep talk, and it really helped.

[IndorilTheGreat]

thanks all

things have been sorta patched with my girlfriend... she isnt having the best time of her life right now either.

I'm feeling a little better. Someone gave me a good pep talk, and it really helped.

 

Glad to hear it. :yes:

 

Now then, it's time to go do something fun! :D

[htomsirveauxjr]

You see, the pits don't last forever. I mean, wait untill you have to do taxes.

 

I have been urging the idea of counseling, and I really cant make you do anything. But you still need to tell your parents about this. Especially if you are hurting yourself. I might be wrong, but in doing that, you want to send a signal, yeah? Well, if they know about that, it should be a wakeup call that something is wrong. Just remember that it is a two way road. It is not all your fault, but you cannot shift all the blame to them. It will be something that you wil have to get through together. That, I do know.

Leaving your parents in the dark will only confuse them more. And, if they are confused, you feel worse. I urge you to do the right thing, and the right thing is going to be damn uncomfortable. That, I do know.

I'm not a parent. Frankly the idea scares me to death. Maybe that is how they feel, and they just cant cope or display it properly.

 

Lastly, there is one thing that I don't expect you to answer now. That is, what do you want, or, what do you need from us? You have been talking, and we have been listening, but is there something more?

Edited March 12, 2011 by htom sirveaux

[antonkr]

I understand how you feel mate. I sometimes rage and just want to no longer live. Just remember we are always here. We might be far away but we do care about you as you are part of this community but you are even more to me you are my friend. Don't misvalue yourself, and don't let others do the same

[vvk78]

@TheCalliton: Do your parents (or at least your mom) know about your girlfriend? Is your girlfriend on friendly/talking terms with your family?

 

If not, you should have told your mom about your girl. This might not be the right time to broach the subject, but you should not keep your girlfriend hidden, especially if you are seriously like her. By talking to one of your parents about her (whichever parent you are closer to; I am guessing it is your mom), you actually give some weightage to your relationship with your girl. You send her a message that you want her to be an important part of your life, and whatever problems you have now will be solved, if you can have her reassuring presence in your life. I know you are young, and relationships at this age are fragile, but still a bit of reassurance always helps to strengthen the bond and solidify the trust.

 

If you mom already know your girlfriend, then ask her to call up and talk to your mom. Let her tell you mom that you have serious problems, and that she (your GF) is concerned about you, that she's afraid you will injure yourself or do something drastic. If you yourself try to tell your concerns to your family, you might not explain it well, or it might peter out into the same old ping-pong talk and continued apathy towards you. But a concerned update from your girlfriend (or even any other well-wisher, like a school counselor), will make a huge difference.

 

This kind of jolt coming from a third party, can awaken the parental instincts of your family, and even if they accost you and scold you, it will be out of fear of losing you, rather than real rage. Then the matters will improve, and your girl will also be closer to the family, and she too will feel comforted that you have the support of your family now. A school counselor or elder family relative can assess and explain things better to your family, but I know some people don't like it if others intrude into their private matters.

 

But the way, why are you cutting yourself for? You really think this is the end of the world? Worst night?

LOL, dude, you have no idea how much better your life is compared to many other youngsters like you. You are not disabled (I hope not), you have enough brains, you are charming enough to get a girlfriend (even I don't have one!!!), you still have both parents to support you (just try to improve relationship with them), so just get a grip on yourself and start improving your life!

 

All the best! :thumbsup:

[TheCalliton]

ah

no

not telling my folks

no

no

no

no

no

they would NOT approve of a long distance relationship

and i'm really feeling better, ive been thinking a lot and i thimk i'm over the worst of it