The Snow Arena

[Peregrine]

Peregrine laughs as the puny mortal's attack destroys the illusionary "Peregrine". Omniscient god that He is, Peregrine had known The Vulture's plans centuries before he had even been born. Not that it really mattered anyway, as Peregrine transcends the mortal form. Any appearance of "Peregrine" in the real world is merely an illusion, a symbolic representation to allow the mere mortals to better relate to Him. Even if The Vulture could identify the right target, there would be nothing for him to shoot at.

 

 

Sighing in annoyance, Peregrine's ethereal presence summons a few more anti-ice spikes. One smashes through the crystal, removing the dangerous toy from the universe. Its shards impale The Vulture, leaving him screaming in pain. A moment later, more ice shards stab into him, real ice this time. After all, it would take all the fun out of torture if He killed The Vulture with antimatter fire...

 

A quick thought teleports the wounded and dying Vulture into the farthest corner of the void, to be tortured for eternity. An appropriate fate for those with the arrogance to challenge a god.

 

Almost as an afterthought, Peregrine drives another anti-ice spike through Abu's face. The delusional cat-man was already long dead, his imaginary realm collapsed into nothing. This one was just for fun.

[cryocry]

I said:

NOTHING MAY HAPPEN WITHOUT ABU'S WILL, PEREGRINE YOU DUMB DONKEY (Just so you know, a donkey is an ass. I just wanted to tell you, seeing as you don't have enough brain power to comprehend that)! WHY DON'T YOU READ NEXT TIME? HE ALSO HAS A ROBE THAT PROTECTS HIM FROM ANYTHING.

[Peregrine]

Peregrine reanimates Abu, then creates a minion to bash him in the head with a copy of The Snow Arena, open to chapter 3: The Great War. "See here? According to Snow Arena canon, Peregrine is a GOD. In other words, an omnipotent, omniscient being, deserving of your worship and respect. He has sent me here to deliver enlightenment to your pitiful mortal mind. He sees your state of confusion and disbelief at His defiance of your pitiful mortal defenses. We are mere insects before His Holy Presence. Our actions have meaning only if He is generous in His mercy, and chooses to recognize them. But do not be afraid, rejoice at His Divine Power! Cease these pitiful attempts to defy His will, and bow in proper worship of His Glorious Image." The minion places an ice statue of the Hellbird before Abu, draped in Abu's former Robe of Protection.

[Malchik]

Unfortunately for both Peregrine and Abu, they had overlooked the weasel clause which stated that any entering the Snow Arena must sign a declaration that no gods or godly accoutrements exist (except for weasels) and he and Abu had both signed the declaration de facto by entering. And neither has the excuse of being a weasel.

 

The snow arena rejects any postulation of invincibility, immortality and all uber items and behaviour.

 

It simply and continually reforms with the other contestants each time it is said to be destroyed.

 

But, of course they may do what they like with their imaginary copies of the arena - downloadable from www.nobrainerplayers.com.

 

Malchik clone, about to pass into Oblivion by way of Myrtana, is juggling snowballs.

 

Off topic as a moderator> cryocry, do not resort to insults, we call it trolling and it can lead to a ban. The whole point of the snow arena is that invincibility is not an option. I could post. "Malchik Pantocrator, creator of all and everything including gods, wipes out the snow arena and all past present and future contenders because he is bored with his creation." (In fact only Dark0ne could turn that into reality but I'm just making a point.) But equally no matter how many times you die, you can always be recreated. That is part of the fun. Nobody can WIN. So have fun finding ways of recreating yourself and killing Peregrine. And he can't WIN either because the winner is always vaporised by the arena before they cast the winning shot. That's just how it goes.

[CJD]

The Vulture is not , oh no far from it, when Peregrine shot him with his cursedanti-ice sg=hards, a shard of the Irodonium Crystal (the big powerful crystal thing that made a massive clone army) which made him heal any and all wounds, he may not be immortal but he has an impossible healing rate. as for being stuck in the farthest corner of the void, the Irodonium crystal made so many vultures, that a battle cruiser was there to pick him up in ten minutes. The Vulture starts his travel home, he will have his revenge.

[Abramul]

SkoomaCat requests permission to activate a Macroscale Position-Decoupled Pauli Amplifier.

[Peregrine]

Fortunately for Peregrine, honesty is not one of His Many Virtues. Therefore He has no problem lying to the Arena management when He signs the statement that no gods exist. In fact, He is a devout atheist, so this statement is an easy one to make. How He is both God and an atheist at the same time is just one of the mysteries of faith.

 

Peregrine, however, typically respects the wishes of the Arena management in the interest of a more interesting fight. Since appearing in His True Form, with all of His Terrifying Power, would shatter the fragile sanity of the mortals in the Arena, He prefers to act through proxy fighters. Besides, the mundane engagements of the Arena are beneath Him, and best left to His Mighty Fleet.

 

The arrogant and delusional Abu, on the other hand, makes an amusing toy. While his faint echoes of ultimate power are enough to annoy the weakened Pawns of the Hellbird, they are no match for a true god. To reinforce this point, Peregrine drives another ice spike through Abu's lifeless corpse.

 

 

 

Another flick of his ethereal wing curses Malchik with a fate worse than death. The Malchik clone's lecture was well-intentioned, but this is a matter of principle. Gods are to be shown respect and worship, so Malchik must pay. Though the mere mortal suffers no physical pain, he is cursed with a sudden lust for Abu. The fact that this necrophiliac desire is not mutual is of no concern to Him, and in fact only makes things more interesting.

[cryocry]

Whoa, no way! I'm an Atheist, too! Yet I'm still a god among mortals. Besides, it said in the rules of this Arena that power playing IS allowed. I think being a god among mortals would count as power playing, don't you Peregrine?

 

 

But, Peregrine, must Abu make his point that your efforts of destroying him are pointless? Have you not seen that he hasn't attacked anyone lately? Must he fix you to show true power?

 

Abu also has infinite copies of his stuff, too. He has locked them away now, and only will use his blade Abeathade in self defense. He sits atop his tower, sun light bathing the room with a godly glow.

 

Would Peregrine like to join Abu's Order of Power?

[Peregrine]

The minion snaps the book closed, and shrugs. "Should've listened", he says as pulls Abu's former Robe of Protection off of the statue, then packs the idol into his bag. Humming a hmyn to his god, the minion turns and walks away. Just as he reaches the horizon, he hesitates for a moment, then tosses a snowball over his shoulder. Not an anti-snowball this time, just a nice icy smack in the face. He looks back one last time at the now cold and wet Abu, then blinks out of the mortal world.

 

 

Meanwhile, Peregrine has completed his study of quantum mechanics, and noticed the obvious fact: Abu's multiple selves are merely a superposition of an unobserved reality. Since the delusional madman exists alone in his own world, and lacks the mental coherence to observe it himself, Abu currently exists in all possible states. Satisfied with this new enlightenment, Peregrine stares at Abu's bizarre realm.

 

In an instant, all of Abu's duplicates disappear, leaving only one single copy, sitting at the top of his tower. Just to add insult to injury, Peregrine replaces the sword Abeathade with a similar-shaped anti-ice shard. The resulting explosion is quite fatal to Abu and his pitiful tower.

 

 

 

(And yes, I'm well aware of the rules... there's a difference between power playing and childish "I kill you and you and you and you and you and you and you can't hurt me so hahahahhahah I R WINNAR!!!!!!" posts that just aren't any fun.)

[Abramul]

SkoomaCat decides to go ahead and activate the Macroscale Position-Decoupled Pauli Amplifier. All existing clones disappear, as it is no longer possible to have more than one identical entity. No new clones (objects or people) may be created.

 

EDIT: "More than one identical entity" is likely a linguistic abomination...