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The Snow Arena


Dark0ne

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From his fleet on the edge of the universe, Peregrine watches the "lord of the universe" fight his war. Finally, the battle starts to get boring, so Peregrine decides to make things a bit more interesting. One of his bored thoughts summons a galaxy sized snowball, with Pack Rat at its center. Unfortunately for the rat, the snowball is massive enough to collapse into a black hole. Peregrine watches with satisfied smile as the black hole forms and consumes Pack Rat and his entire army. Now bored of even that entertainment, Peregrine resumses sleeping.

 

Score: Lord Peregrine: 1 "lord of the universe": 0

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*It's time of joy to Dijas and Malchick's clones 68, 69, 70 and 71. They got up four snow catapults and the nukes are down.

 

«Maybe I'll have a chance in this war.» says Dijas «Who should we attack first?»

 

«Acrid!» says Sixty-nine.

«Peregrine!» says Sixty-eight.

«Shin!» says Seventy.

 

But wisefuly Seventy-one, the youngest of these Malchick's clones, says:

«Let's find out who our terrible father is and then we'll attack him.»

 

*Dijas seeks his portatile computer and searches "Malchick's clones father". The only result displayed is the following page

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*Pack Rat seems to have been underestimated. From the moment peregrine launched the ball and absorbed the lord of the universe and his army they were beamed back at the ship. After all arriving at the ship, the ship retreats. A small victory for Peregrine but the beginning of a new war, the Peregrine-Rat war... The snowclone wars...*

 

We'll meet again, Mr Bond...erhm... Mr Peregrine

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*Acrid finds one of his snow phantoms was launching nukes and saying it was Acrid, now peregrine put a stop to it, thank god!

 

*The real Acrid takes the crazy Acrid phantom and cut's it's head off.

 

*There! now to dismantle all these missles and use them for homes and for charity

 

*but the damage from the non-nuclear missles is still burning at mojlnir's casino

 

*Acrid uses his time travel amulet to go back to before the dark one ever made snow everywhere. Acrid builds a massive steel fortress, then jumps back to the present time, only the fortress didn't exist because of when the first world was destroyed.

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*Checking the security camers at his casino with new Palm Pilot from the comfort of the bar at Milliways, Mojlnir notices that the casino seems to be on fire*

 

"Hmmm....got that new management after all!" remarks Mojlnir as he sips a smokey single malt sno-scotch

 

"Oh well, I will rebuild, and these plans for the new fortress are beyond anyone's darkest nightmares" chuckles Mojlnir as the bartender looks on dispassionately

 

*Mojlnir orders another scotch and heads back to his table, wondering if White Wolf and Ancalagon are still there or whether they have dematerialized back into the void of Purgatory*

 

"You never can tell with this place" mutters Mojlnir to himself "I wonder if a golf course would make it back on Sno-Earth..."

 

*He pulls out his trusty celly, and places a call...*

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*Acrid starts playing with a strange amulet and ends up at the bar at Milliways, Oh hi Mojlnir, don't worry I'm through trying to destroy the world, that last time it wasn't me, honest it was a snow phantom, this place serve any malabo? I'm looking to relax
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*Back at Milliways Ancalagon is playing on a baby grand and singing Sinatra's 'I did it my way', the piano conveniently enough, is made from snow.

 

*As he kicks in to the song with gusto, two dozen Rocketts wearing ice bikinis start to form a chorus line and can-can in sync with the music.

Behind him, a curtain rises and the best Big Band in the Universe starts to play along with Ancalagon. The Baby Grand starts to rotate on a platform and fountains of Champagne start to spurt up. Ancalagon is wearing a tuxedo, made of Snow.

 

Singing (this is gonna be long)

 

"And now, the end is near;

And so I face the final curtain.

My friend, I'll say it clear,

I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

 

I've lived a life that's full.

I've traveled each and ev'ry highway;

But more, much more than this,

I did it my way.

 

Regrets, I've had a few;

But then again, too few to mention.

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption.

 

I planned each charted course;

Each careful step along the byway,

But more, much more than this,

I did it my way.

 

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew.

But through it all, when there was doubt,

I ate it up and spit it out.

I faced it all and I stood tall;

And did it my way.

 

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.

I've had my fill; my share of losing.

And now, as tears subside,

I find it all so amusing.

 

To think I did all that;

And may I say - not in a shy way,

"No, oh no not me,

I did it my way".

 

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught.

To say the things he truly feels;

And not the words of one who kneels.

The record shows I took the blows -

And did it my way!"

 

"Whew!" *Throws a snowball at Acrid in good fun, and in jest.

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*After stuffing his face, White Wolf looks up.*

 

"Hmm, that was a nice breakfast and a half."

 

*Pulling out a small datapad, he punches a few buttons.*

 

"Number One, how goes it on Earth II?"

 

"Well, sir, long range sensors indicate that the whole planet, and quite possibly the whole universe, is up a certain creek without a quite vital implement."

 

"Of course it is, you fool, I'm at Milliways."

 

"No, sir, I mean the WHOLE universe."

 

"Aaah."

 

*Pausing to consider his options, White Wolf thinks a sharp exit is prudent.*

 

"Start the engines, we're leaving."

 

*Getting up, he puts away his datapad and gets out his transportation module.*

 

"Ancalagon, Mojlnir, the company's been excellent, but I gotta go. Now."

 

*With that, he presses a button and transports to his ship, which promptly disappears with an eye-watering display of multi-coloured light. Possibly including mauve.*

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