Soulmates

[kvnchrist]

Well I'm an incurable romantic from way back. I believe there is someone out there for everybody. I, also believe you will most likely find this person, when you are not looking.

[Flintlockecole]

I most definitely believe in a "soulmate", I believe that "out there", there is that "special someone" that just makes us feel right, someone that just "fits", I can't explain it, but they fill the mould of our heart like no one else can and bring us a rest that somehow

no one else is able to.

We can totally unveil ourselves with them and expose our fragility before them and unashamedly let them gaze upon our naked souls without walls.

I believe in a "love-mate" who will defend us in all our weaknesses, who will be our covering and comfort us and shield us from any enemies assault.

I believe that there is that ONE true special person who was specifically designed just for me.

They won't neccessarily be "perfect', or the most handsome or beautiful, and we'll definitely have challenges but they will stick with us through thick and thin and just like a coin has two sides, together we'll complete each other and bring value to each other's lives.

This is not a dream, I believe that such people exist ...

I agree with this, I don't think I'll go into details.

[Deleted472477User]

A little background (I answered 'Not sure'). My last boyfriend dumped me in 1999. It wasn't until 2009 that I finally found someone again. during those years, I didn't have so much as a one-nighter. they say it's easier for females to find someone, and it's true to an extent, but I didn't just go with anyone and held to my standards.

 

I'm glad I did, because I have the person who is right for me now. I said 'Not sure' because I tend to see the idea of The One as someone who comes into your life no matter what when the time is right, but I am not sure if that's how it works, all I know is that I finally found her.

[Iv000]

Yes, I do believe in soulmates.

There will always be someone in the world that is the most compatible with you.

That's why I am waiting actually. I'm 16 and I still didn't have a girlfriend or boyfriend.

I don't want to begin some sort of romance with someone just so it can end after a few weeks.

I don't want to show of that I had a girlfriend.

I just want to wait for the right one. The one that I will love forever and the one where I will feel bad If I'm not at her/his side.

[grannywils]

I said that I would get back to this topic when I had a chance, so here I am. As I said before I think that soulmates and "the one" are really two different concepts, at least for me. In my life I have had a couple of soulmates. They are not easy to come by, but they are in fact the most wonderful people to find. The connections that exist between you are almost instantaneus. It is almost as though you have known each other all your lives. For me, these people rarely become lovers. They do however remain friends for life. They are much, much more important than lovers.

 

As far as finding "the one"..... I am not sure that this answer can be the same for everyone. I believe that I did find the perfect one for me. However, he passed away many years ago (in 1990). I still mourn his death and I believe that he was the best human being that I have ever known. Having said that, I am now with a man that I believe to be the perfect man for me. He fills all my empty places, and I fill all of his. We are two halves of the same coin. He drives me about as crazy some days as I drive him on others. Neither of us is perfect, but we seem to be perfect for each other. We both give 100% to this relationship every single day, and fully believe that that is the only way to make a relationship work. So, is he "the one". I cannot think of anyone else that I would choose to be with for the rest of my life. So maybe I do believe in "the one". As I said, I'm not sure that this answer can be the same for everyone.

[SpellAndShield]

The whole soul mate argument is a tricky one. People here (and elsewhere) speak of their alleged missing half but what is (usuall) characteristic about the people making such claims is a lack of experience with other partners prior to the 'one', literally meaning the 'one' is often the only one the person has seen. If the only kind of food you have ever known is pizza and you have never tried anything else then pizza is of course the best food there is. People can stay together through personal determinism but biologically speaking we are not monogomous animals and never have been (I am not advocating cheating at all and am ethically opposed to it) so it is simply an act of 'will' on the part of most people, that and the pizza being the only food but these days the quest for a soul mate is not really in vogue, people are just looking for the 'one' in a fashion similar to any product and should the product (person) show any defect you simply drop it and buy another. Relationships are work, cost time, money and sometimes blood and people don't want to invest that or if they do, up to a point, upon which the cost-benefit analysis is carried out and measured with the costs exceeding the benefits. I think it is also generational. My generation (70's-midish 80's) is the generation of ' I don't want to miss out on anything' and that is transferable to just about any sphere of life, given that mentality, a committed relationship is anathema to many people all claims of desiring such to the contrary notwithstanding because we are burdened by the constant thought of 'missing out'. Of course this is not an absolute, merely a trend but it speaks volumes and can be differentiated from the late 80's to post 80's generation of ' I don't know what I want' inasmuch as my generation made and makes the claim of knowing what it wants yet that desideratum always remains unobtainable, whereas the later generation simply makes no claim whatsoever but both generations are plagued by a sense of selfishness and egotism that is frightening, given that condition a 'soul mate' is a distant reach, for as long as 'me-syndrome' reigns the necessary sacrifices and concessions that could be viewed as preconditions for even attempting to find a soul mate are nullified and that is why the term even appears archaic to some these days. How did this come about? It is in part a by-product of the liberalisation of Western society (which I favour) that has had the unfortunate consequence that people have lost a sense of responsibility to the other, which is by no means inherent and must be cultivated. My generation was the first to taste of the 'liberalisation' afforded to us by the previous one but curiously the the social webbing that seemed to unite those individuals into some sort of cohesive unit was lost on us and thus the 'free to be you and me' generation was born, unfettered by the sense of responsibility that the previous generation had still experienced in growing up. All of this is of course social and a matter of perception but I feel the scales have been tipped too far in one direction to return to the old ways (or at least some of them) and it is spreading to other areas of the world. Take S.Korea for example (a country I lived in for several years), theirs is a very traditional society but the influences of the West are unweaving those traditional attitudes and replacing them with some of the rather repugnant aspects of societal liberalisation that we have experienced, in short it's a mess and any thought of finding a soul mate is wasted time given the overarching conditions that reign in our society. Finally, whilst I am willing to admit (despite my favouring of liberalisation) that 'freeing' ourselves has had negative consequences a thoughtful and reflective individual might be able to see past the generational malaise he or she was born into and overcome tendencies that are almost instinctual. Having said all that, one cannot adequately address the concept of 'soul mates' without first addressing the greater social structure one is born into and viewing love and relationships through that specific lense; nothing can be seen in a vacuum.

[myrmaad]

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c117/SeaBlossom/icons/more%20icons/WALL_OF_TEXT.jpg

 

 

 

You make a lot of assumptions.

 

I didn't really answer the question. I do believe there are some who can mate successfully with a variety of partners. (Meaning I don't believe in "the one" exactly.)

 

But in spite of the magical thinking that the term "soul mate" seems to require, by that I'm talking about a relationship that is not only lasting, but I would describe it as characterized by the incomparable feeling of being "home" when you're with each other.

 

Astonishing as you might find this, I was actually quite precocious, growing up at warp speed due to my mother's death when I was 12.

 

My husband was the first relationship I've ever had where I didn't get that "chew your arm off" feeling, you know, the one where you wake up one morning and start gnawing my arm off to get away. Thirty years later, I'm still 'home'.

[Balagor]

Well, before I "had my pizza" I had some starters :biggrin: so to speak. You are probably right about it will be an everlasting, bloodcosting figth to start up new partnerships, but I can tell you that it is too, to make it run for 35 years, and be happy. Nothing comes easy either way, but I belive that people who "give up" and have a divorce, will face the same issues later in a new partnership. I do not believe in the only one, but in soulmates. There is a difference. The only one sounds to me like if you loose your better half, that´s it. You can never find another. I do no belive that. I believe in soulmates, and we have plenty of them, they are not extremly difficult to find. They are people with whom we have a very good chemestry, and they can be our friends for life, and/or partner.

Me and my wife do no longer consider us as a merried cople only, we are also freinds, comrades, sparring partners, support, yes everything. All that will be difficult to achieve with changing partnerships.

[Aurielius]

Me and my wife do no longer consider us as a merried cople only, we are also freinds, comrades, sparring partners, support, yes everything. All that will be difficult to achieve with changing partnerships.

I tend to agree old friend, my wife is also my best friend, my most formidable opponent, my sounding board, my ally and my lover, none of this occurred over night but evolved. Relationships require work and are the sum of all that both of you put into them.

[HeyYou]

Me and my wife do no longer consider us as a merried cople only, we are also freinds, comrades, sparring partners, support, yes everything. All that will be difficult to achieve with changing partnerships.

I tend to agree old friend, my wife is also my best friend, my most formidable opponent, my sounding board, my ally and my lover, none of this occurred over night but evolved. Relationships require work and are the sum of all that both of you put into them.

 

DING DING DING!!! We have a WINNA! Give that man a Cigar!