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Magical Vending Machine


DarkusRelling

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Out: an account of the Nerevarine's adventures from arrival at said port, to the fulfillment of the prophecy, to the Nerevarine's departure for Solstheim.

In: a first-edition print of The Rise and Fall of Saint Jiub the Eradicator, Hero of Morrowind and Savior of the Dunmer (aka Saint Jiub's Opus), signed by the ghost of Saint Jiub the Eradicator of the Winged Menace himself, and by the Dragonborn who a.) carried the manuscript out of the Soul Cairn and sent it to the publisher, and b.) carried ~100 copies back in to be signed.  (Published by Redoran House Publishing, Blacklight, Morrowind, in 4E202.*)

 

(* Edit: Their logo looks a bit like the Random House logo, but in Redoran-style architecture.)

Edited by AaronOfMpls
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Out: (Nice one)  A crate of Skooma with a note saying: Don't drink this all at once and don't let it be a habit - J. The bottles are wrapped in various pages of an outline to Volume 2 of the Opus but they are tear stained and quite difficult to read. 

In: A tiny ebony model of Arvak with aetherium eyes which glow. It is on a silver chain and etched into the figurine, in tiny dragon tongue characters is: To the Dragonborn with love from Alduin.... No hard feelings.

Luckily dragon tongue is very succinct - dragons don't enjoy writing in any case - and my translation is very approximate. 

 

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Out: A key chain with the Stars arranged like a challace on a disk with a bunch of baby newborn dragons flying around it trying to get a drink.

In: A person selling scrolls of levitation spells.

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Out: An issue of the Black Horse Courier with headline "'Levitation King' Jailed".

In: One of those novelty fake $1,000,000 bills. 💵

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Out: A recording of Kylie's 'I should be so lucky' signed Kylie, of course. 

In: A knitted sock for a mobile phone. This one is striped primrose yellow and buttercup yellow.

 

 

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A: How two feet were fighting because there was only one sock for them.

Q: What does a duck say when it trips and luckily falls into the pond upright? 

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Out: A loud "QUACK!" sound from the machine.

In: Ysolda's ring from A Night to Remember.

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Out: A bottle of Sleeping Tree Sap in rather a garish purple bottle and a pair of glasses to counteract the purple haze. Wake up!

In: A recording of Black Night and the fuchsia Deep Purple (in flower).

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Out: The song by Deep Purple, Don't Fear the Reaper to cheer up the Black Knight trying to get up and take revenge on the false rulers of the Purple House of the Deep family who killed his parents and stole their homeland and castle.  HIs mother put him in a weaved basket inside an empty mead barrel and tossed it down the castles river waste channel to save him from being taken alive.  ( Played by a guy named Tony Curtis when he was in his 20's, or some age like that back when little white houses in the USA were thought of a man's home is his castle, before we were born. )

In: A frozen statue of a drake in a storm of snow cones raining down on it melting his iceberg shell off.

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Out: A ticket for a tour of the ten best dinosaur museums in the world, along with free travel and hotel bookings providing 10 weeks of holiday with a week at each museum. There is also a copy of Why Are We Running? by Dina Saurus. There's a little tag in the shape of a  stegosaurus with the following message: To George - stay away from icebergs  and skooma it can only cause greef - TRex. 

In:  The Aetherium Crest

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