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Household Products You Wish Existed


kungfubellydancer

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Here's a random thread, have fun, don't criticize me for making this up, everyone needs a good laugh.

 

Micro-Freeze: Now, we can all heat stuff up in the microwave a couple of minutes, but how about cooling things down? I don't know how many cakes and pasta salads I prepared for parties that just were too hot to be served properly.

 

Lazy-away 3000: Better than coffee! On those days you feel lazy and just can't get anything done around the house, you drink this tonic and you find yourself ready to tackle all those household project you wanted to do, and to do it for days on end without sleeping.

 

Instant Sleep: Babies and kids awake all night? Can't get a scrap of privacy without some evil child walking into your room demanding stupid demands? With Instant Sleep you just press the button and the kid is lulled to sleep instantly and will stay asleep for 6+ hours! They will only wake when they need to go potty or manually. (Could use this with the newborn on the way)

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Star Map - I keep my office dark, so I don't have to keep the monitors, (4) on three different systems, on super bright to avoid reflection glare. But a little illumination would be good. What I'd like is a one-room planetarium. Every now and then, I'd turn up the music; kick back, and watch to stars go by. (Stormraven smiles softly at the Stars...)

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8)

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Instant Coma- Tired of your current life? Weeks feel like months? Schedule completely empty until next year? With Instant Coma, you fall into a deep slumber, and seemingly a few hours later, you wake up on a specified date! Seriously people, time doesn't go backwards. Use with 2nd House Wife for optimal results.

 

2nd House Wife- We all know that you hate cleaning up after the kids, taking care of the pets, making food everyday, cleaning and scrubbing things that you swore you cleaned just 5 minutes ago, but why do it yourself when you can have 2nd House Wife! This fully functional robot does everything for you! Whether its babysitting or gardening or cooking difficult entrees, she's got it covered. And she's so realistic too.

 

Little Vet- People in this house HATE taking care of the pets, and I can't because my doctor specifically told me not to handle bird/cat feces, so I have to leave most pet chores to others. But no one does them! I'd be worried if the SPCA walked in right now. So, Little Vet is a device you hook onto cages and fishtanks, and will know the exact condition of your pets and give a full exam every 12 hours! Then it alerts you if an animal is sick, needs food, etc. Get Little Vet 2, the mobile kind, for uncaged animals like dogs, cats, and children.

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Micro-freeze - I thought I had heard about something like this on the news the other day - probably just false rumours...

 

Lazy-away 3000 - umm, think that would be called "Red Bull" :rolleyes:

 

Instant Sleep - hot chocolate is a good, inexpensive alternative (as long the young 'uns aren't prone to sugar highs)

 

Star Map - that actually sounds like something I wouldn't mind having.

 

Self vacuuming rooms - they have little automated robotic vacuums today.

 

Instant coma - what if said person doesn't wake up (not that there wouldn't be a chance, but you never know...)

 

2nd House Wife - a robotic maid. You know that actually might be possible in the next decade or so.

 

Little Vet/Little Vet 2 - another gadget I wouldn't mind having; at least I would be able to find out how my pet is doing.

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Instant Sleep - hot chocolate is a good, inexpensive alternative (as long the young 'uns aren't prone to sugar highs)

 

You can't give hot chocolate to newborns! They wake up every hour (actually, he does that even though he ain't born yet) that means I have to take on that schedule. I was thinking that instant sleep is sort of like a machine that gives off magic unseen waves that put people to sleep. You have to adjust the age meter so that only people between this and this age will fall asleep when exposed to the waves.

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Instant Sleep - hot chocolate is a good, inexpensive alternative (as long the young 'uns aren't prone to sugar highs)

 

You can't give hot chocolate to newborns! They wake up every hour (actually, he does that even though he ain't born yet) that means I have to take on that schedule. I was thinking that instant sleep is sort of like a machine that gives off magic unseen waves that put people to sleep. You have to adjust the age meter so that only people between this and this age will fall asleep when exposed to the waves.

Right - sorry... :blush: Again I've demonstrated my single-mindedness...
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Wormhole-in-a-Can: Don't feel like walking? Paying $50 for gas? Open up a can of wormhole, tell it where you want to be dropped off at, and then step into the physics-warping tube of get-there-instantly! Warning: May cause severe negatives effects to local universe.

 

Suicide's Dream; Neutron Star!- If you feel that you want to end it all, but its unfair that the entire world gets to live on without you, then take out neutron star! This thimble sized ball will surely "compact" things, as its a ball full of "atom-sized" bits of fun! If you wish to watch the action, please wear the Anti-Gravity/Anti-Matter suit that will make you invulnerable to the neutron star's powerful instant sucking action, and watch as the entire earth crashes right into the ball's inescapable gravitational forces. Say bye to the world the right way as the people who oppressed you in life get smashed into atom sized specks! Anti-Gravity/Anti-Matter suit not included.

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Wormhole-in-a-can - I certainly wish i had one (would make getting around a heck of lot easier :rolleyes: )

 

Neutron Star - revenge AND suicide wrap into one compact package - cool!

 

 

I've got one - Spider-man suit: allows you crawl on walls and shoot webbing like everyone's favourite superhero! AND, you can look cool too 8)

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