Darwin Awards Jr. (Honerable Mentions)

[kvnchrist]

I don't know if you guys have ever seen the Darwin Awards, which is a crazy conglomeration of things that absolutely stupid people do that either take their lives, thus removing their uniquely moronic strain from the worldwide gene pool. Very few of these are called honorable mention, because the person actually lived through the experience and hopefully, they would learn from the ordeal they would learn from the ordeal.

 

As these awards are for adults, who should know better, the junior added to the topic is more in fun as it is for the members here to document the various times that they, as kids have done crazy stuff that have or could have resulted in injury, and should be part of a story which should end with: and It's a wonder I'm alive today.

 

I have two and the first one begins when I was in grade school.

 

(1) When I was younger, my brother and I slept in bunk beds, which weren't the safety beds of today, but the metal and spring monsters of the late 60's without padding or safety bars to keep anyone from rolling of the top bunk. Well my brother, for some odd reason had the bottom bunk and I the top. I guess my parents thought that they knew my older brother longer and if I broke my neck, they could more easily replace me than him. lol

 

Anyway. I had this thing for super heroes and I tied a blanket around my neck for a cape and jumped off the top bunk to land on the floor with a mixed level of grace. Anyway, I had a wise idea of jumping off backwards which in my childish mind would mean landing infront of my brother and scaring the crap out of him. Well the jump worked out well, but the landing was less than perfect and I ended up landing baddly on my ankel with not only wrenched the heck out of it, but as I collapsed I ended up bouncing my chin of the front side of his mattress springs. I ended up at the hospital which gave me several stitches, without any anesthesia.

 

The second is when I was a few years older, but not much wiser.

 

(2) My brother and I was bored one Saturday morning and decided we needed to make a tree house. Well being the certified structural engineers that we were, we decided to construct a tree house just a few yards from the house we were living in. and began acquiring the odds and ends that we thought we needed to finish the job.

 

We began to work on the thing, which thankfully not far off the ground, but enough to climb up to construct and the thing slow, began taking shape. We finished the floor fairly quickly and began constructing the walls with the windows and the entrance, where we figured we would attach a rope ladder. It wasn't until we were banging around, both one one side of the structure, trying to begin the roof, when we found the fatal flaw in our construction.

 

Suddenly we felt the odd sensation of movement and from our vantage point we could look out one of the windows as the structure slipped from the loving embrace of the tree limbs that we thought would hold it, firmly, tipped on end and plummeted some 10-15 feet to the awaiting ground.

 

We were not exactly will participants in the journey and announced our displeasure with our best renditions of blood curling screams, only to be met with an equally horrendous sound, when we impacted the ground.

 

I'm not sorry to say that was the end of my construction career, but not off my propensity for foolishness.

[Thor.]

Lol good story, tree houses rock. Although I'm a tad to old for that sort fo thing now :tongue:

[antonkr]

Lol good story, tree houses rock. Although I'm a tad to old for that sort fo thing now :tongue:

Yes me too. *paints tree-house in camouflage so no one knows >.>

[Werne]

Well, I've done a lot of stupid and crazy stuff when I was younger, but my most stupid ideas involved home-made explosive contraptions. And with such begins my first dumb idea.

 

1. Rocket

 

Since I always liked the stuff that go boom, especially if it flies and goes boom, when I was 6 I decided it would be great to make a rocket that flies up and explodes (cause the ones you could buy just didn't have enough boom power). I was very excited about my brilliant idea so I began to construct it out of an old Coca-Cola glass bottle, mixed some things to make the explosive and the exhaust (won't say which, don't want you constructing bombs out there), I used a rope to ignite it and I constructed a launching ramp out of a cardboard box. My rocket was ready.

 

Then came the part where I realized my stupidity. When I ignited the fuse I figured out my missile doesn't have balance so it will fly everywhere, and I figured out it's not very smart to make it out of glass :rolleyes:. Unfortunately, I realised it too late, my "rocket" smacked me in the forehead and started to spin around in the street. Luckily, I managed to slip away before the mayhem began, when that thing exploded there was glass all over, I managed to damage 7 cars and a couple of windows :facepalm:.

 

That is when I realised explosives are dangerous, especially if they fly and go boom, but that didn't stop me from making more, which leads us to another one of my brilliant ideas.

 

2. A very fast toy car

 

I found a toy car on the street one day and I immediately decided to make it into an awesome super fast rocket-powered car (I was eight). Learning from my old mistake, this time I used a plastic bottle wrapped with a thick layer of tin foil inside and out and I've put some weight on the car so it doesn't drive around without control. I constructed a rocket engine, made the exhaust and attached all that to the car. This time I used a real fuse to ignite the rocket engine cause the rope is somewhat dangerous (learned with some experiments between these two stupidities). Anyway, I fired it up and waited for it to start going.

 

The car started to accelerate with a remarkable speed, none of those electric cars could go that fast. When the car gained maximum speed, I realised there is a flaw in my construct. The car was plastic and the substance that was used as fuel for the engine was creating a lot of heat. The engine itself worked perfectly, but the car turned into a suprisingly fast fireball that was speeding down the street :psyduck:. Luckily, when it jumped over the side walk and went on the road, a real car ran it over and stopped it. It was still on fire though, the guy that ran it over put it out with a fire extinguisher.

 

Another lucky thing is that I manged to escape before someone realised I did that so I wasn't punished :dance:.

 

And the best thing about this is that my boom stuff is no longer that dangerous. I gained a lot of knowledge about that in school where I learned the basics of electricity and mechanics, allowing me to make much safer ignitions and constructs. I also learned a lot about it in the army, how to shape the charge, the ammount of material to use and how to make even more powerful substances. Now I can say that I'm authorised to wreak chaos 8).

Edited March 2, 2012 by Werne

[Thor.]

Hmmm nothing beats running literally through a screen door, i was young and didn't know better. I swear it wasn't there, OMG the flash backs.:wacko: I was 9 years old then.

 

The sliding door type.

Edited March 2, 2012 by Thor.

[Vindekarr]

The LawnMower.

 

I have to confess, I am a mad petrol head, I always have been, and when an deep love of speed meets early teenage boredum and a lawnmower, the result can be dangerous. I won't tell you exactly how I did it, but one day, on a very boring summer holiday, there was no electricity, the power had been out for several days on end, the grid overwhelmed by a heatwave. I was out and about in the heat, and I found a Lawnmower lying deserted in the back shed. Bored out of my mind, I <snip> <snip> 'ed a few <important components> from the Mower which allowed it's 25cc naturaly aspirated two-stroke engine to rev without a redline or rev limiter to keep the power in check, while increased fuel octane and better airflow gave it pop-eye like flex.

 

Under the mow, I added a cog, sprocket and chain to my destructive new toy, allowing the mighty Mower to propell itself. For the sake of safety I blunted it's blades with an angle-grinder, then turned the upside down and curved them, turning them from a slicing rapidly whirling hurricane of death, into a tiny, upside down rotor. I'd been inspired by a Brabham race car that used a big fan to suck itself to the road, and hoped it would keep the mower from catching air and potentialy giving someone a haircut. As a final precaution, I affixed it to a chain so it couldn't go too far, and would go in circles.

 

Taking the mower to and abandoned lot, my friends and I started it up. It roared into life, at first sounding like Mower, then rising to sound like a Tuk-Tuk with asthma. We kicked the chocks, and the Mower roared off across the lot, it was to do laps, roaring around in a way our demented minds would find fun. It charged off, and reached it's turn, but rather than be steered by the chain, the chain snapped!

 

Unleashed, the savage Mower tore across the lot like a berzerker, caught air as it hit and embankment, and then landed in the ditch beyond, disturbing a bird. We left it there, our lesson learned, though I waited till it ran out of fuel then severed it's drive chain, just to be sure the monster Mower would not rise again and murder someone that thought "oooh! a free mower!"