Ending or taking over the World

[humanbean234]

Can do. What should we do in the unlikely event that the movie execs don't like the proposed screenplays? Blackmail? And I'll see if we can't get Kilmer in on the film. He jumped onto the 1995 movie: Batman Forever without even reading the script, so maybe we can sucker him into it(assuming we have to resort to that).

 

You know the drill; we shop one of the screenplays to one studio, and if it doesn't sell, than we wait for the movie to be produced, and use the other two screenplays to file lawsuits for plagiarism. At best, people will think I look like Val Kilmer. At worst, the studio will settle the suits out-of-court, and we get an extra two or three million to add to the Time-Machine budget.

[jojo man]

You know the drill; we shop one of the screenplays to one studio, and if it doesn't sell, than we wait for the movie to be produced, and use the other two screenplays to file lawsuits for plagiarism. At best, people will think I look like Val Kilmer. At worst, the studio will settle the suits out-of-court, and we get an extra two or three million to add to the Time-Machine budget.

Good call. I'll get my minions crackin' on that.

[rhs88]

Rhs88: In the field of industrial espionage related to your pet project, there, you should consider getting an agent to infiltrate these guys. They've already done a lot of ground-breaking work in that field, and I'm sure you can make good use of what you find there.

 

http://home.tampabay.rr.com/lnsemsf/lowres/menu02.htm

 

I'll see if I can scrounge up a minion to infiltrate. I'll just have to remind him not to wear red.

 

And can we please keep me out of the movie for Jojo's scheme. The last time they found some homeless guy off the street to act out my part. He did fairly well, but was not able to capture the essence of my mad methodicalness.

 

I'm all for addition to the time machine budget by the way. :whistling:

[josh900]

so we are making a movie now? it might not be a smart idea to let the zombies on the set it might get messy. and have we scraped the luna project ? we can have the zombies build the base there, since they can survive deep space.and before any one can ask, yes i did have them loaded onto a spaceship and shot out the airlock and they survived

[Chesto]

< It is Gestapo time, the period between 3 am and 5 am, GMT + 1 , British Summer Time...okay...its gone Gestapo time by the time this is posted but...even those guys didnt keep to a schedule alla the time...and including any reference to summer sort of destroys the generally murky mood, but this is a British Summer we are talking about here, so ....;

 

...a figure, perhaps human, is just seen disappearing into the noxious green mist that surrounds the evil establishment, the toxic green mist spray having broken down, again, due to yet more cheese paring in accounts. The figure's head is encased in a plaster cast; only eye, nose , ear and mouth holes allow any exchange of... whatever has to be exchanged; one arm is also in a plaster cast from shoulder to finger tips; as is one leg from toe to ...up there.

 

The figure is moving rapidly, well..as rapidly as...uno..., heaving itself forward on wooden crutches, NHS supplied, and last seen in 1973. ...or was it '79? Nevermind! Laboured panting of breath is heard coming from out one of the holes in the head cast. ...maybe more than one.

 

We just get a glimpse of what the figure is carrying. Two extremely large, brown, grease stained paper bags, the carrying of which also impedes the progress, already somewhat impeded, of the figure, as it tries to make as much haste as possible, given its current condition, encumbrances, and the lack of any significant tail wind.

 

We hear the rapid, almost panicky, thump and drag, thump and drag, panting , panting, as the figure moves on towards the door, through which he has always barged, just prior to the maniacal laughing. Then...

 

...we hear the metallic clang...and an extremely truncated laugh track... as the more or less plaster encased body, perhaps human, makes contact, at some relative velocity, with the locked metallic door. Then the sound of a body, more or less plaster encased, hitting the ground , hard. The glass shards, and shrapnel , covered ground.

 

Almost immediately we hear a muffled scream of pain and anguish. Almost immediately our nostrils are assaulted by the aroma of scattered fast foods, some savoury , some sweet, some kosher, some...viking. ( well...you tell ME the opposite of kosher, then! )

 

And then we hear the pathetic , whimpering voice, a loser's voice, a voice you just want to kick the...bleep out of...well..kick the bleep out of the owner of the voice. After all a voice lacks corporeal substance, other than as picked up by high tech audio...oh...nevermind. >

 

Hey! Who locked the door? Hello? Anybody? Tammy? Sheila? ...dezi? Im in quite a lot of pain out here! Hello? I think i may have hurt myself again! Anybody there? And...Im sorry but... i sort of spilled everybody's orders, again. Sorry. And what about that good old stand by, the horse's head in the bed? Hello?

 

< pained muttering is heard. Then... we hear the scrabbling of a mutlitude of tiny, sharp, probably plague ridden ( i know, i know..it was the fleas, not the... ) claws. Claws attached to loathesome feet, attached to nauseating legs and horrible bodies...Creatures are massing, in the green mist. We hear them massing, and moving, all caution abandoned, towards the delectable aromas of spilled fast food. Some kosher, some...not.

 

We hear the pained muttering cease. That is, we hear the silence created by the absence of pained muttering. Just...fekkin get on! Then...>

 

Oh look! Hello little fellow! Ha. Ha.

 

< We hear the horrified screaming, and the wet sounds of something, perhaps human, being savaged by hundreds of hungry teeth. Oh! The humanity! >

[humanbean234]

It won't take long to get his next clone up-&-moving, but the two weeks we'll lose him during New Henchman Orientation are gonna' be rough, people.

It's not easy to find someone who does all his own stunts.

I think we can get Jon Lovitz to play him, in the film.

 

Meanwhile, somebody call the temp agency.

 

(Bravo! :biggrin: )

[dezdimona]

oh by the way HB, I need plant food and fertilizer for my new garden, here's a list of plants I'll be growing. Of course I'll need volunteers too!

 

Aconitum (Aconite, wolfsbane, monkshood) (Aconitum napellus). The poison is concentrated in the unripe seed pods and roots, but all parts are poisonous. Causes digestive upset, nervous excitement. The juice in plant parts is often fatal.

Autumn crocus. The bulbs are poisonous and cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea. Can be fatal.

Azalea. All parts of the plant are poisonous and cause nausea, vomiting, depression, breathing difficulties, coma. Rarely fatal.

Bittersweet nightshade (Solanum dulcamara). All parts are poisonous, containing solanine and causing fatigue, paralysis, convulsions and diarrhea. Rarely fatal. [1]

Bleeding heart (Dicentra cucullaria)/Dutchman's breeches. Leaves and roots are poisonous and cause convulsions and other nervous symptoms.

Black locust. Pods are toxic.

Black nightshade (Solanum nigrum). All parts of the plant except the ripe fruit contain the toxin glycoalkaloid solanine.

Angel's Trumpet (Brugmansia). All parts of the plant contains the tropane alkaloids scopolamine and atropine. Often fatal.

Caladium/Elephant Ear. All parts of the plant are poisonous. Symptoms are generally irritation, pain, and swelling of tissues. If the mouth or tongue swell, breathing may be fatally blocked.

Castor Oil Plant (Ricinus communis). The phytotoxin is ricin, an extremely toxic water soluble protein, which is concentrated in the seed. Also present are ricinine, an alkaloid, and an irritant oil. Causes burning in mouth and throat, convulsions, and is often fatal.

Daffodil. The bulbs are poisonous and cause nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Can be fatal. Stems also cause headaches, vomiting, and blurred vision.

Daphne (Daphne sp.). The berries (either red or yellow) are poisonous, causing burns to mouth and digestive tract, followed by coma. Often fatal.

Darnel/Poison Ryegrass (Lolium temulentum). The seeds and seed heads of this common garden weed may contain the alkaloids temuline and loliine. Some experts also point to the fungus ergot or fungi of the genus endoconidium both of which grow on the seed heads of rye grasses as an additional source of toxicity.[2]

Datura/nightshade. Contains the alkaloids scopolamine and atropine. Datura has been used as a hallucinogenic drug, eg by the native peoples of the Americas.[3]

Deadly nightshade (Atropa belladonna). All parts of the plant contain the toxic alkaloid atropine. The young plants and seeds are especially poisonous, causing nausea, muscle twitches, paralysis; often fatal.

Deathcamas/black snakeroot. All parts of the plant are poisonous, causing nausea, severe upset.

Delphinium. Contains the alkaloid Delsoline. Young plants and seeds are poisonous, causing nausea, muscle twitches, paralysis, often fatal.

Doll's eyes. Berries are highly poisonous, as well as all other parts.

Dumbcane/dieffenbachia. All parts are poisonous, causing intense burning, irritation, and immobility of the tongue, mouth, and throat. Swelling can be severe enough to block breathing leading to death.

Elderberry. The roots are poisonous and cause nausea and digestive upset.

European Holly (Ilex aquifolium). The berries are poisonous, causing gastroenteritis.

Foxglove (Digitalis purpurea). The leaves, seeds, and flowers are poisonous, containing cardiac or other steroid glycosides. These cause irregular heartbeat, and generally digestive upset and confusion. Can be fatal.

Gifblaar (Dichapetalum cymosum). Well-known as a livestock poison in South Africa; this plant contains the metabolic poison fluoroacetic acid.

Hemlock (Conium maculatum). All parts of the plant contain the relatively simple alkaloid coniine which causes stomach pains, vomiting, progressive paralysis of the central nervous system. Can be fatal; it is the poison which killed Socrates.

Henbane. Seeds and foliage poisonous

Horse-chestnut. All parts of the plant are poisonous, causing nausea, muscle twitches, and sometimes, paralysis.

Ivy. The leaves and berries are poisonous, causing stomach pains, labored breathing, possible coma.

Holly. Berries cause vomiting, nausea and diarrhea if ingested.

Hyacinth. The bulbs are poisonous, causing nausea, vomiting, gasping, convulsions, and possibly death.

Jequirity. The seed is highly poisonous

Jerusalem cherry. All parts, especially the berries, are poisonous, causing nausea and vomiting. It is occasionally fatal, especially to children.

Jimson weed/datura/thorn apple/stinkweed/ Jamestown weed (Datura stramonium). All parts of the plant are poisonous, causing abnormal thirst, vision distortions, delirium, incoherence, coma. Often fatal.

Laburnum. All parts, especially the seeds, are poisonous, causing excitement, staggering, convulsions, coma, occasionally fatal.

Larkspur (both Delphinium and Consolida spp[4]). Young plants and seeds are poisonous, causing nausea, muscle twitches, paralysis. Often fatal.

Lilies (liliaceae). Most are poisonous, especially to cats.

Manchineel (Hippomane mancinella). All parts of this tree including the fruit contain toxic phorbol esters typical of the Euphorbiaceae.

Mayapple (Podophyllum peltatum). Green portions of the plant, unripe fruit, and especially the rhizome contain the non-alkaloid toxin podophyllotoxin which causes diarrhea, severe digestive upset.

Monkshood. All parts of the plant are highly poisonous. Ancient warriors used it to poison their enemies' water supplies. Used in the past for killing wolves. Causes burning, tingling, and numbness in the mouth, then the intestine, followed by vomiting; death by asphyxiation.

Moonseed. The fruits and seeds are poisonous, causing nausea and vomiting. Often fatal.

Mother of Millions (Kalanchoe tubiflora). These plants are deadly to livestock and there is every indication that they are toxic to humans.

Oleander (Nerium oleander). All parts are toxic, containing nerioside, oleandroside, saponins, cardiac glycosides, but especially the leaves and woody stems. They cause severe digestive upset, heart trouble, contact dermatitis. Very fatal. It is the deadliest plant in the world.

Oak. most species foliage and acorns are mildly poisonous, causing digestive upset, heart trouble, contact dermatitis. Rarely fatal.

Poison-ivy (Toxicodendron radicans), Poison-oak (T. diversilobum), and Poison Sumac (T.vernix). All parts of these plants contain a highly irritating oil with urushiol (this is actually not a poison, but an allergen). Skin reactions can include blisters and rashes. It spreads readily to clothes and back again, and has a very long life. Infections can follow scratching. As stated, this is an allergen, and the toxin will not affect certain people. The smoke of burning poison ivy can cause reactions in the lungs, and can be fatal.

Pokeweed (Phytolacca sp.). Leaves, berries and roots contain phytolaccatoxin and phytolaccigenin - toxin in young leaves is reduced with each boiling and draining.

Privet (Ligustrum sp.). Berries and leaves are poisonous. Berries contain ligustrin and syringin, which causes difestive disturbances, nervous symptoms. Can be fatal.

Stinging Tree (Dendrocnide excelsa, Stinging tree) and similar species. The plant is capable of inflicting a painful sting when touched, which may last for several days and is exaccerbated by touching, rubbing and cold. Can be fatal.

Water hemlock. The root, when freshly pulled out of the ground, is extremely poisonous and contains the toxin Cicuta virosa. When dried, poison is reduced to roughly 3-5 percent of what it contained when fresh.

White snakeroot. All parts are poisonous, causing nausea and vomiting. Often fatal.

Yellow Jessamine. All parts are poisonous, causing nausea and vomiting. Often fatal. It is possible to become ill from ingesting honey made from jessamine nectar.

Yew (Taxus baccata). All parts of the plant, except for the fleshy red bit of the fruit, contain taxane alkaloids. The seeds are especially poisonous and are quickly fatal when ingested.

[humanbean234]

(Note to self: Avoid the salad-bar at the employee cafeteria from hereon...)

 

Planning a party, are you? Some of that stuff is native to the area, isn't it?

 

Okay, I failed botany in high school, and I was never much for helping my mom with her garden, but some of those plants are obviously going to need a greenhouse... which means construction costs... and materials... and pesticides... why can't you just kill them with pesticides, and cut out the middleman?

 

Okay... yeah, I know, there's an "art" to all of this... Christ, I hate to think of what all those grow-lights are going to do to our overhead costs on electrical.

 

Figure out how much square-footage you're going to need, and prepare to sacrifice at least 30% of your requested. This will have to go onto the mid-range calendar... can we discuss this further, at next week's meeting?

[dezdimona]

ok, I'll get the figures together, I would think forced labor from the prisioners will hold down cost, but you men deal with that. I also may need a special green house for mushrooms,and since they grow best in the dark lights will be minimal. Fertilizer can be gotten from any farmer free of cost.

Have josh and his zombie hoard take care of that part.

Should have the size for my babae's Green House no later than tomarrow...Chio...

[FesterbyNice]

wow....... can we get the (clearly sick and twisted) botanist who named 'mother of millions' on our side? ALso, this greehouse better not take up the space I need for my dimension-altering onyx pyramid, it took me 7 months to get that through the planning department, and I have to make sure it fits the style of the surrounding buildings....

 

Oh, and the medical department are asking if we want laughing boy MkII to have full brainpower, or only half?

And one morething, this saturday's satanist club meeting is cancelled, as Miss Congeniality is on and i dont want to miss it...... I MEAN DRACULA, dracula is on..... yes.....