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Chesto

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Necro: Aren't you a little young to be finding true love? lol. Well, if you must, just remember that love comes at a price. You can't simply fall in a love someone. You have to take care of them, provide them food and shelter, appreciation. You have to be able to afford a house and a family. And you also have to think about the future, and not just someone for today or for the month. I am not saying that you do, but I am speaking to everyone in general.

 

Dezdimona: thank you for the compliment! But now I feel like I was begging for attention, when in truth I was just being honest about myself....Oh, its a never-ending circle....

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There are a few about me:

 

- I have never found any who I consider true love.

- I have no self-confidence because of a mass of negative things that have been said.

- I have a major anger problem. If the slightest bad thing is said, I flip.

 

Well there you go.

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One negative aspect about me is that I am easily, easily disillusioned with myself. Anything can cause me to feel defeat even before the battle has begun. For example, when I draw a picture, I often look at the end result with disappointment, like I could have done better. I like singing, but I don't sing in front of people. When I cook food for the family, particularly unusual foods, I don't eat it myself, for fear if I detected a fault in it I'd be disappointed. When I write fiction, I easily lose confidence upon reading a similar work. When I mod, or create textures, as soon as I go to the Nexus and look at the recent mods, I say, "I can't even begin to compare my work with these. No one is going to download my stuff." When I look in the mirror I may think I have a glimmer of beauty, but when I look at a photo of myself or of some other woman, I feel I was just lying to myself.

 

This sort of criticism can be the worst for a person, and often leads to not working to full potential. Even after I or someone tells the above to me and makes me see that it's all in my head, as soon as I create something, I am disappointed. But, it's not something new, I've been this way even through childhood. Plus, I am one for honesty and can't deal with anyone trying to flatter me. I think one thing that drives my husband crazy is my complete lack of self confidence, despite his attempts to tell me I am beautiful, inside and out. When I tell myself the same thing, I often say, "You know, can't you see how dishonest you are?"

 

Awwww sorry you feel this way..I am not good with compliments either being a Sagg..but I have learnt..

Whatever happened to make you feel this,either came from outside you, or brought in from a previous life..IMO and IME.., where perchance you were killed for you beauty..ti sone possibility..

You can just ignore this post as crazy, but I am Irish Sidhe with the Sight, and I cannot in good integrity be allowed, to by pas this, the Sidhe will n ot let me.. last night I had my own piss a moan to do..

Today I read you again when my sight back to the wider perpective....This a dangerous path, you walk, it is vital I am told, to embrace yourself,la..

 

Eh like I have a little request for you to do, you must do it 3 times a day whether you believe it or not..Pick up a mirror disregard the negative voice within , that attempts to compare you to anyone else..its lying to you, some programme tape from Goddess knows when..tell yourself, whether you believe it yet or not, for you must reprogramme that negative programming inside you have about yourself..

 

Say, as you look yourself in the eyes..I love me, I am beauty, I am a living goddess, therefore I am beauty inside and out..what I create and do is beautiful..One day I Will Know and see this, I take the first step now, and I say it to the Universe....(Say it despite what your head says, say it 3 times a day.) also add I am worthy of the good things that shall come my way..and I accept them now..So be it..

For those 3 to 5 minutes you do this, you must put aside all the negative thoughts just let them pass, ignore them just for 3 minutes for just 3 times a day..is that allot as the Sidhe always told me, when I was so much younger and fill of self doubt, every so often after a blow even now if it rears its ugly head, I do it again..but tis not often, day or 3 not is all it lasts..now and I am right back up..

The subconscious mind is a powerful thing what you put in it will eventual take root..

So I say to you what have you got to lose..

 

Say it sister till you believe it..I jest with you not, one day, it will sink in...let the old beliefs die, and let new ones take its place..

I could say just encouraging words, which you need also, but also you nned tools, I am being guided, to offer a tool that works..Eh like see I am Druid Crone here, in Ireland, in a long line from me Grans.. and I see things in a different then most light, the gift I have I oft keep to myself unless someone is in danger, and you are, from your own thinking destroying all that is good about you..So I listen to the Sidhe, I forget I might get flack and judged for it, and EH like I do what I must, take it for what its worth, its all I have to give..from heart and soul la..

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My dearest friend,I know how losing that topic hurt,and perhaps things I said caused it to happen.I never intentionally set out to hurt,but sometimes the irish in me says enough and I say things. I am not one for being politically correct. my father tells it like it is and so do I at times,and thats me!

You can always come to me,you know that,you and I share a bond that many can't understand and you will always be a part of me till I die!

awww I am so sorry if things I said caused damage and pain,its never my intention,but I am human and an imperfect creature. But my love for many here is true and honest,never doubt that!

love ya!!!

 

 

My dearest sister, not for one moment have you heard from my mouth blame.trust me if I felt that you would have heard it from me...We are Irish lass, political correctness isn't exactly our fortay ..Unless it has to do with Éire..la

 

Its me too sister, and I am a Sagittarius on top of that, you've seen my mouth in action when someone puts me in the corner and starts shiteing on me..YOU have nothing to feel sorry about..

I believed in you I wanted you to know it, I knew the risk, whee I said it, I knew the risk, when I said my feelings about this is where hate leads, when one goes into its territory,never meet an enemy on its home turff.. one may not want it, but the energy has a life of its own and it drags anger out of people.. I knew when I said all that, and defended what I beleived in without attacking anything, but my feelings on hate itself.. and defedning you ,what might happen , love I did not eneter blind...and I'd do it again..for its who I am..

 

The bond we have is unbreakable,me dear Dez, for it wasn't formed in this life, this I know.The Celts are loyal form one life to the next, it is our way, its out stance.It always will be..

Doubt your love, how many times have you seen me lose it sister, when I have been backed into a corner, and hit in a sensitive spot and lost it and said what was truth in my heart according to my integrity, and principles, did you doubt mine..la

Eh like tis full speed ahead and damn the torpedos, as our dear Dani said, thats me, thats the Irish, we are noted for it la.. or the conseguences..Its who I am..it who we are as a people, and you love are Irish brought up in an Irish home, Irish Dez, and this will be you, and this will be me...Eh like I'd do it again for someone I care about..*censored* the conseguences..

Never doubt that me dear sweet Dezi..I love you too..OK la...

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Dezdimona: thank you for the compliment! But now I feel like I was begging for attention, when in truth I was just being honest about myself....Oh, its a never-ending circle....

And its the honesty that I spoke about and to. I know when one seeks attention and one speaks from the heart( most times) my track record with men lately has been lacking. I said what I said because its what I myself have felt and lived.When you stand on the edge between life and death, you put aside those things that make you feel worthless and grab life for all its worth!

 

Aeryn333 Posted Today, 07:24 PM

QUOTE(dezdimona @ Sep 12 2008, 03:05 PM)

My dearest friend,I know how losing that topic hurt,and perhaps things I said caused it to happen.I never intentionally set out to hurt,but sometimes the irish in me says enough and I say things. I am not one for being politically correct. my father tells it like it is and so do I at times,and thats me!

You can always come to me,you know that,you and I share a bond that many can't understand and you will always be a part of me till I die!

awww I am so sorry if things I said caused damage and pain,its never my intention,but I am human and an imperfect creature. But my love for many here is true and honest,never doubt that!

love ya!!!

 

 

 

My dearest sister, not for one moment have you heard from my mouth blame.trust me if I felt that you would have heard it from me...We are Irish lass, political correctness isn't exactly our fortay ..Unless it has to do with Éire..la

 

Its me too sister, and I am a Sagittarius on top of that, you've seen my mouth in action when someone puts me in the corner and starts shiteing on me..YOU have nothing to feel sorry about..

I believed in you I wanted you to know it, I knew the risk, whee I said it, I knew the risk, when I said my feelings about this is where hate leads, when one goes into its territory,never meet an enemy on its home turff.. one may not want it, but the energy has a life of its own and it drags anger out of people.. I knew when I said all that, and defended what I beleived in without attacking anything, but my feelings on hate itself.. and defedning you ,what might happen , love I did not eneter blind...and I'd do it again..for its who I am..

 

The bond we have is unbreakable,me dear Dez, for it wasn't formed in this life, this I know.The Celts are loyal form one life to the next, it is our way, its out stance.It always will be..

Doubt your love, how many times have you seen me lose it sister, when I have been backed into a corner, and hit in a sensitive spot and lost it and said what was truth in my heart according to my integrity, and principles, did you doubt mine..la

Eh like tis full speed ahead and damn the torpedos, as our dear Dani said, thats me, thats the Irish, we are noted for it la.. or the conseguences..Its who I am..it who we are as a people, and you love are Irish brought up in an Irish home, Irish Dez, and this will be you, and this will be me...Eh like I'd do it again for someone I care about..*censored* the conseguences..

Never doubt that me dear sweet Dezi..I love you too..OK la...

 

Aeryn333 Posted Today, 06:54 PM

 

Thats something I will never doubt,and yes we share something beyond a mortal timeline!

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