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myrmaad

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Posts posted by myrmaad

  1. I want to encourage you to file an unban request as I understand the subject matter of the mod is particularly stressful to some of our brothers and sisters. The fact remains it is part of history now, and is better remembered than forgotten.

     

    Even so, you must be able to comply with our Terms of Service, and abide by the Rules here at the Nexus family of sites.

  2. People should not have to be forced to change the way they do things simply because it is annoying

     

    Oh yes they should. That is exactly my point. If they can't be arsed to change their behavior in order to ensure a harmonious partnership then they are pathetic because as I said, "it's all about MEEEE" even though it's in their own self-interest in order to protect their most important and potentially rewarding and potentially self-protective relationship, and if they really can't do that, humanity is doomed.

     

    On a larger scale this is exactly what we've lost as a society.

     

     

    Now I know I've changed your meaning a bit, but bear with me, because you are right, if it's a slight annoyance, out of respect you, I can suspend my annoyance or decide to not let it bother me, but we are not talking about a "slight" annoyance when we are discussing, for example, a man in a traditionally male domain, using his position and traditional place of power, to reduce or remind his new female workmates just entering that traditionally male domain, traditionally objectified as good for only motherhood or sex, of "her place" via sexual cheesecake pictures -- which in my experience are easy to see when in a locker area. I've been around a lot of old boys. I served in the US military don't forget.

     

    And that's without even being privy to the body language and undercurrents of unspoken tension that I can easily imagine in such a situation, having been in such situations myself.

  3.  

     

    If you are annoyed at someone when they are doing something that in not intentionally screwing with you, its most likely your own fault. If someone is purposely doing something to annoy you then it is their fault.

     

    :laugh: :no:

     

    "it's most likely your fault"?

     

    If my spouse constantly loses the cap to the toothpaste, that is annoying. It may be lovably in character if he is an absent minded professor type, but it's still an annoyance when the paste dries up and the kids don't want to brush their teeth.

     

    Or how about the wife who won't fill out the check register, "cuz you know, math isn't her thing". That's an annoyance.

     

    These are not your fault.

     

    If these spouses care about you, they will modify their behavior out of respect for your concerns.

  4. I think we're missing something here.

     

    There's a difference between being annoying and being intentionally disrespectful.

     

    That's the key to it right there.

     

    Because when you care enough to communicate respectfully, a person who is doing something unintentionally annoying, if they care about your feelings or are at least respectful of them, then they will change their behavior.

     

    This is what I meant about "writing people off".

     

    You can choose to be disrespectful to me, but that buys you a ticket out of my life, (probably a trait that Dark0ne picked up on when he was considering potential staff members).

     

    Trying to change someone who isn't interested in mutual respectful behavior is far too much drama for me.

     

    In society, we have laws to ensure a minimum of respectful behavior, but social consequences are much more effective than laws, and unfortunately our western culture has grown so pathetically weak and rootless that we no longer have strong social mores/consequences for such behavior. People use violent language in public and around their own kids and no one seems to bat an eye. It's offensive because we don't even consider the damage we do to others on a regular basis. It's all about Me, and what I want, and what I can get, and to hell with you and everyone else as long as I've got Mine.

     

    I have the right to be offended by that, but more importantly I have the right to think less of people who blunder through society like that, I have the right to teach my kids to feel sorry for people who act like that.

     

    I personally don't think it's a triumph to beat disrespect with more disrespect.

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