Lisnpuppy Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 To all my friends here at Nexus. As some of you may be aware I have been absent for some time from here. To begin I wish to say I am sorry to my friends that have been concerned about me. Please know that a more personal message will be coming to you all soon. I will not bore everyone with all the details, though the devil has been in them. Everyone has their own issues and mine are no different. However that being said I would like to share some. I suffer from deep, clinical depression. I have multiple health issues that cause me to be ill and in some cases a great deal of pain, I am currently and have been for some time unemployed. All of these things feed on each other and I am in a vicious circular groove so to speak.Something happened a while back and I basically just ….broke for a while. I haven’t talked to anyone really. Hell, I can hardly get myself into the shower. No one did anything here and I know that anyone of my friends would (and did) offer any help, a shoulder to cry upon, whatever. I did not refuse these things really on purpose. I just simply have not been able to face anyone or anything. I like to consider myself a strong person but sometimes life gets a big hammer and pounds one into the ground and it takes a bit to get out.I hope that my friends will forgive me and understand. As I said more to you later. Please know I care for you all and have missed you. Hopefully I will be around a bit more now.Please also know there is no need to reply to this comment. My intentions are not for attention…just to crack open the door and peek my head inside. My love to you all.Lisa/Dani Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nosisab Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 We have nothing to forgive, for me there is only hope you can be among us again the sooner the better and as happy as you can be. We missed you, you can be sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skree000 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 My thoughts go out to you in your troubling times. May your life quickly make a turn for the best and you be healthy and happy again soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Raven Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Lisa, my friend. I can tell you from personal experience, that isolation only makes it worse. As well do I know how easy it can be to forget that advice in the face of depression. As I am often guilty of it too. But let that pass, and let us all be glad, that you are with us now. Because here there are people who really do care, and will take the time to listen. I know I am one of them. Love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethre Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Best of luck. Try to take it easy if you can, and hopefully get to feeling better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tyreil829 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 oh dani my heart goes out to you i do hope you get better we all miss you and we all wish for you to be with us once more get well danii Duncan Casey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AReaver Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Im so glad to hear you're safe cause ive and others have been really worried about you and i know depression isn't something easily just passed by it takes time and its hard but if you go it alone its that much harder on you so please let us help we care about you and want you to feel better and everyone is right there is nothing to forgive you've done nothing wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dezdimona Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Sweetness, I'm just relieved to know your ok.Return when your able.Love ya lots! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamerbird Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 LISA!!!!!!!YAY!!!God you had me worried, I am glad you are hopefully coming back though!Missed you loads! I am glad to know you are ok though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Raven Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Lisa, In August, my house, nearly burned to the ground. I lost almost everything that was important to me. We lost an animal that we had loved and cared for many years. "Kitten-There Was Only One." Three decades of my life went up in smoke. I knew what it was like to lose someone I loved, but this experience was as if I myself had passed away. For weeks, my wife and I live like transients, keeping what was left to us in the car. We never knew when we would have to move again. I had just started two websites, and had no way to communicate on any kind of a regular basis, with people who were depending on me. It has been decades, since I have lived without the convenience of a computer. It was pure and unadulterated chaos. Depression set in like a two ton Hammer. About the time, we found a home to rent, while our own home was being restored, I found out that I needed to go in for emergency surgery on my tailbone. I spent the next three months, in excruciating pain, that I can only compare to passing kidney stones. I could not sit anywhere, I could not even ride in the car, I read, a lot. Simultaneously fighting the insurance company on one hand, and the contractors restoring the house on the other. I am just now to the point where I can sit for an hour or so at a time. And as if to add icing on the cake, I am only days into recovering from the worst case of the flu I've had in years. Oh yeah, the last six months have been a bundle of joy. If it had happened to anyone else, it would definitely be a situation comedy. But if there is something I have learned about hard times, they do not last forever. It just feels like they do. Did I mention, it just feels like they last forever? Is there an echo in here? For myself, I have learned, to find ways to distract myself from the things that hurt me the most. It does not make them any easier or less painful. I just found ways to spend less time focusing on the things I could not change. If it sounds as though I am sitting on my own pity pot, such is not the case, I just wanted you to know you are not alone in how you feel. But express your feelings, or you will go crazy. They build up inside and the pressure gets worse, and then you wind up in the crazy house (been there, done that, not goin' back), try to learn from those less fortunate than yourself, people like me. LOL Do not forget that your loved. You are a unique and individual human being. And there will never be another one like you. You are special and you have brightened my life , and the lives of many others, on many occasions. Please give those of us who care the opportunity to brighten yours. So please believe me when I say, I do understand what it is like, to feel as if the rain will never end. All I can say is thank God for my friends... They stood by me, patiently and loved me, when I could not love myself. You are my friend, I see no reason to forgive you for being human, if I did that, I might have to forgive myself. Glad to have you back. Nano tubes anyone? Quantum mechanics, perhaps? This is the The Nexus, you got questions, we got answers, you bet'cha. Just don't ask us if they are the correct ones. LOL. I will hope sincerely that you will take this post, both the sadness and the humor, as they were meant to cheer you up. I've been told, at times. My humor is a little off. Would you believe I have been told quite a bit off! No, not like Chesto's he is much funnier. I ask you just how much more can one man do to put his foot in his own mouth. Laughing out loud, *the old man smiles* Storm Raven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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