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Bullying. The destruction of a human being.


kvnchrist

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I noticed that some of you brought school into this, now, I don't know how different it is United States or other countries but for example in my school informing the teachers or school officials was next to useless.

 

I was being bullied in school and teachers who knew about it either ignored it or simply scolded the bullies. No one was ever suspended for bullying and I'm sure that their parents were never made aware about what their children were doing.

 

As sad as it is the only options I see for people who are being bullied in school is to either transfer to another school, homeschooling or finish high school through the internet because honestly I don't see any effective bullying preventions. People only discuss bullying when someone commits suicide and the event is brought to attention, when it dies down pretty much no one talks how wrong bullying is and how negatively it affects lives of those who are being bullied.

 

Sorry for my English.

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I was referring to our victim leaving her profile up, as the "standing on your principles'.

 

This was going on for two years. I would like to think the parents took most of the steps you refer to, none of which did any good, or made any difference. For some folks, you need to resort to their own tactics to actually get through to them. I would have a very hard time faulting the parents of the victim, if they bought off some kid to thoroughly beat the crap out of both girls. Every day. For a month. I would be the one standing back with my iPhone, recording it, and posting it to youtube. Give them a taste of their own medicine, see how they like it.

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http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/18/21027965-mom-of-girl-charged-in-florida-bullying-suicide-arrested-on-child-abuse-charges?lite

 

It seems the mother of the bully is up on charges of child abuse. I wonder how many other bullies have parents that abuse them and if that reality effects the actions of the bullies. I've heard that child abuse is hereditary, at times. Could this be the real issue here?

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I was referring to our victim leaving her profile up, as the "standing on your principles'.

 

This was going on for two years. I would like to think the parents took most of the steps you refer to, none of which did any good, or made any difference. For some folks, you need to resort to their own tactics to actually get through to them. I would have a very hard time faulting the parents of the victim, if they bought off some kid to thoroughly beat the crap out of both girls. Every day. For a month. I would be the one standing back with my iPhone, recording it, and posting it to youtube. Give them a taste of their own medicine, see how they like it.

 

This is the thing. Leaving her profile up or deleting it wouldn't really deter the problem. In fact, it reached her phone.

 

As far as giving them a taste of their own medicine, kvnchrist is right about the fact that it IS hereditary. They could be bullied by someone else, by someone at home, by someone on the bus, and it doesn't happen in just kids either. It happens with adults too. So it also happens at work. It spreads like a virus in some cases. So with bullying them, it could escalate their behavior, or it could lead them down the same road as Rebecca did. Losing their will to survive.

 

 

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/18/21027965-mom-of-girl-charged-in-florida-bullying-suicide-arrested-on-child-abuse-charges?lite

 

It seems the mother of the bully is up on charges of child abuse. I wonder how many other bullies have parents that abuse them and if that reality effects the actions of the bullies. I've heard that child abuse is hereditary, at times. Could this be the real issue here?

 

I'm glad that something is being done. It could be the real issue, but it could be part of a whole separate one.

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As far as giving them a taste of their own medicine, kvnchrist is right about the fact that it IS hereditary. They could be bullied by someone else, by someone at home, by someone on the bus, and it doesn't happen in just kids either. It happens with adults too. So it also happens at work. It spreads like a virus in some cases. So with bullying them, it could escalate their behavior, or it could lead them down the same road as Rebecca did. Losing their will to survive.

 

I'm going to leave a comment here, with my opinion and experience, because I have been debating whether or not I should post this but I'm curious as to what peoples thoughts are on the matter so I decided I will post it anyway.

 

This is my own personal experience, I've known several people who happened to be bullied at school, when one of them got in the bully's face. He retorted in the most vulgar of euphemism and a fight ensued, which unfortunately for the bully resulted in him on the floor. This began to get real interesting when the fight ended, because the bully tried to do a curved punch, and my friend dodged doing a strait punch right into his Thoracic Diaphragm which knocked the breath out of him. Eventually he got in trouble for the fight and was threatened with suspension, however what was entertaining was when he told the school board, if they cant protect the students; then the students have the right to defend themselves, after he made that statement, the school board dropped the issue.

 

After the fight the school changed its regulations, and did a investigation into the situation, what came back was extremely revealing. Which I believe to merely be a symptom of a larger problem that people instigate themselves.

 

This is were it gets interesting, as it turns out after the fight the bully never bothered that person again, but the thing we came to find out was that the bully had a very dysfunctional family, and his father constantly berated him and abused him, which he took out on other people. Therefore I think that bully's act the way they do because of personal issues, and that there happens to be no consequences for their actions, as well as no reprieve either.

Edited by Hardwaremaster
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As far as giving them a taste of their own medicine, kvnchrist is right about the fact that it IS hereditary. They could be bullied by someone else, by someone at home, by someone on the bus, and it doesn't happen in just kids either. It happens with adults too. So it also happens at work. It spreads like a virus in some cases. So with bullying them, it could escalate their behavior, or it could lead them down the same road as Rebecca did. Losing their will to survive.

 

I'm going to leave a comment here, with my opinion and experience, because I have been debating whether or not I should post this but I'm curious as to what peoples thoughts are on the matter so I decided I will post it anyway.

 

This is my own personal experience, I've known several people who happened to be bullied at school, when one of them got in the bully's face. He retorted in the most vulgar of euphemism and a fight ensued, which unfortunately for the bully resulted in him on the floor. This began to get real interesting when the fight ended, because the bully tried to do a curved punch, and my friend dodged doing a strait punch right into his Thoracic Diaphragm which knocked the breath out of him. Eventually he got in trouble for the fight and was threatened with suspension, however what was entertaining was when he told the school board, if they cant protect the students; then the students have the right to defend themselves, after he made that statement, the school board dropped the issue.

 

After the fight the school changed its regulations, and did a investigation into the situation, what came back was extremely revealing. Which I believe to merely be a symptom of a larger problem that people instigate themselves.

 

This is were it gets interesting, as it turns out after the fight the bully never bothered that person again, but the thing we came to find out was that the bully had a very dysfunctional family, and his father constantly berated him and abused him, which he took out on other people. Therefore I think that bully's act the way they do because of personal issues, and that there happens to be no consequences for their actions, as well as no reprieve either.

 

 

That's what I mean. Self defense is different than blatantly bullying someone who's bullying. It could either feed into the behavior more or push them to extremes. So for your friend, that's an entirely different situation. I've even had to defend myself against people like that and still do, due to my location and how people reconcile with my orientation. But now they don't bother me too much due to one of my hobbies I've been working with. I'm surprised I have my ears attached to my head to be quite honest. But bullying is bullying and it's not self defense at all.

Edited by pheo3309
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Well one of the reason schools actually don't do jack about bullies till its to late is bullying is to be reported. This negitively affects the schools rating which will reduce the schools funding so they are less likely to report or deal with any acts of committed by the bully. However, when someone responds to the bully with force they have to report it, and will punish both parties even if it was an act of self defense.

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I have been bullied, blamed and shamed and mobbed in school since 1978 till the late 80's, with the help from the teachers side ( by discrimination and victimisation) if I did go to them and report what happened before. So I have a good idea of how it feels to be desperate in such situation.
So please don't sink on the same level of those persons that do this.

Lucky I came across a view days ago about this article :

 

10 Psychological Studies That Will Change What You Think You Know About Yourself

 

In this studies you will find the motives and what they denied to their victim, if you can think a bit around the corner.
It is easy to measure then, what damage they caused and what motives are behind such behavior, even if the victim would have survived.
The next step is to take all this and how this conflicts with the lawsuit and how that all lead to the death of the victim. together to get a legal opinion how far a sentence of a judge could go.

Till now most here have expressed their opinions more profoundly than others. Please, don't get like the ravaging persons that you want to fight in this topic, by calling them minors. It would give them only the justification of their cyber-bulling and cyber-mobbing. Please deny them their success and please don't have a go at the victim. It was in my opinion desperate not seeing how it could get help or/and get out of this mess.

I keep here a level of distance of what I know for a reason.

Edited by SilverDNA
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  • 3 weeks later...

Didn't her parents pull her out of that school, and transfer her to another? (I may be getting this one confused with another case.)

 

What makes you think the bullies parents WEREN'T notified?

 

'Nother question I would have is: Was this reported to school authorities, and did they actually make an attempt to do something about it?

 

oh the parent's just didn't give a damn. i recall seeing a picture of one of the bullies facebook post saying something along the lines "Yes, i bullied her and she killed herself but IDGAF(i don't give a f--k). sad. what's interesting is that i dealt with bullying for most of my childhood yet since starting college it just seems like people are different. i never see conflict, and everyone is cool to each other for the most part.

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This is going to sound strange, but I think the solution to bullying in schools is a total overhaul of the way schools work (particularly in America). Punishment only gets a school so far, and they can only punish when they catch someone in the act (and most of the time kids are smart enough to not say those things to each other in front of teachers). I had a huge issue with bullying in public school, so much that my parents switched me to a private one. In the private school there was a maximm of twelve students per class. Oddly enough, bullying wasn't a problem.

 

Teenager's did have their arguments, but there was no oppressive, daily verbal abuse (or physical) going from student to student. It was solely dumb high school drama between friends. The theory behind this is not the close knit community, rather, the opportunity for teachers to adequately know and understand each student in his/her class. It is a lot easier to keep an eye on 10 kids than it is to keep an eye on 30 (not to mention multiple periods in a day meant teachers in high school were teaching 100+ kids a day).

 

It's better for everyone if we get more teachers and lower the class size. It makes everything more personal and makes it more difficult to bully someone simply because you don't know them very well. Unfortunately I have yet to see any studies that could prove my point. I have heard that countries like Finland bullying is far less of a problem. What are those countries doing right?

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