I need to quit gaming...

[InDarkestNight]

All the games I enjoy have been rendered into either something I don't enjoy, or straight can't play. I quit buying games years ago because I got sick of everything I love always been torn away from me. This of course means I inevitably ran out of games. I've tried to play games I've always despised simply because I have nothing better to do. I can't find joy in any of these stupid games no matter how much I try to play these pieces of garbage.

I've been gaming for longer than I can remember, literally. My earliest memories gaming were playing super mario bros 3 on the nes, and I was already familiar with the first few levels. I really have nothing left to do with my free time other than game. I got bored with TV years ago, and I quit listening to music years ago for reasons that would take too long to explain. Gaming is all I had left, but now its been TORN AWAY FROM ME BY UTTERLY WORTHLESS BETHESDA AND EVERY OTHER GAMING COMPANY OUT THERE.

Why am I posting this? I don't know. I need to find something else to do, given that I can't game anymore AND I HAVE NO f*#@ING CHOICE IN THE MATTER. I have thought about making my own games, but honestly I don't know if I could keep those either. Even if I have the source code, how can I ever know if it'll compile on a future OS? Also, seeing what happened to flash, I don't have much faith that anything in python will last. You can't even use any code made in version 1 or 2 anymore, regarding python. Maybe I need to quit trying to make games. Everything digital simply doesn't last. I'm better off just having nothing to do with it anymore, even though I'm a certified programmer. Yeah, I really regret my degree. Dumbest decision of my life.

Seriously though, what else can I do to occupy my time? Just stare at the walls all day? Wait every day for nightfall so I can spend a few minutes pointing my telescope at something? Read books all day every single day for the rest of my life? f*#@ the gaming industry, f*#@ the music industry, f*#@ every industry. Over the past few days I'm actually starting to think that the bible has a point, in that it says that reach people stand no chance of going to heaven (I'm a religious none btw, seriously).

Anyway, I need to find something else to do other than stare at the walls. I don't know what else I can do. I can't listen to music anymore, I can't watch tv (haven't had internet service in years and years now), and now I can't game. Why am I not allowed to keep the stuff I love? Worthless greedy companies. Does bethesda seriously think anyone in their right mind is going to buy es6 after what they did to Skyrim? There's more people playing skyrim than that stupid scifi game they just released ever had, despite them DOING EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO STOP PEOPLE FROM PLAYING THE GAME.

I'm sorry, I'm frustrated and lost. Maybe I need to just read the bible all day long and consider returning to the faith of my youth. As I've aged, I've gradually seen the thing as more and more rational, due to what I know about the world now. Anyway, bye, and I don't even know if I'll be checking this later. I just needed to vent I think. Maybe I should just start a diary and vent there rather than to the void of the internet.

edit: Decided I need to clarify some things. I'm not a homophobe, I don't believe in young earth creationism, I don't hold anything against people of other religions, blah blah blah, and I have no intents on changing that. I doubt I could ever be a Christian opposing these things. I didn't say I agree 100% with the bible, just some its teachings such as Jesus' claim that rich people can't go to heaven that I already mentioned. Money just ruins everything, and nothing good comes of it.

Edited November 21, 2023 by InDarkestNight
needed to clarify a few things

[HeyYou]

Ok, just curious, but, WHY can't you play Skyrim any more?

[rodr1ss]

let it be... let it go... enjoy the new forum in the meantime

[Guest deleted34304850]

hope you find what you're looking for. good luck on the next stage of your journey.

[InDarkestNight]

13 hours ago, HeyYou said:

Ok, just curious, but, WHY can't you play Skyrim any more?

I quit playing SE because I got fed up with having to dance around bethesda's crap all the time just so I could use the mods I wanted. Besides, I also found that LE was far more stable on my system. However, its still not stable enough for me to do a full playthrough (at least with mods). I tried to years and years to complete a playthrough without the thing starting to crash relentlessly, but I just could not do it. I even tried to completely swap out my load order, to do a halloween-themed playthrough, but despite sharing practically no mods with my past orders, the thing was still too unstable to play. I haven't played in months and I don't see how I can again. Both versions are too unstable (se more so, strangely, at least I can get to about level 6 ot 7 on LE before the even crashes start, and I can also actually enter dragonsreach without a guaranteed crash mods or not, blah blah blah). Besides, let's be real here, what bethesda did to se may as well have been a nuclear strike it was so devastating to the modding community. I would NEVER be willing to play that game again. I never wanted that cc garbage, and I can't stomach the idea of playing with them. SE is forever dead to me, and I just can't get LE to work. Besides, let's be real, I'm lucky the thing can even turn on at all, since I still have windows 10. If I do switch to a new gaming computer, I wouldn't be able to run it at all anymore. Honestly, I don't even think I'll be getting a new gaming computer. Why bother? I don't buy games anymore, every new OS is a downgrade from the previous (I would still be using windows xp if I could, and yes I know you can't go online with it anymore, not like its worth going online anyway these days). If I do get a new computer, its just going to be a laptop. I rarely even feel inclined to turn on steam anymore. Why bother with $1000 computers when I have no need for such a thing? Even if I do go the route of making my own games, a laptop should easily be able to run anything I could make. As I said though, I don't even know if making my own games would be worth the blood sweat and tears knowing that in 5 years at best, I'll have to switch to another computer that it probably won't run on. I hate the tech industry.

[HeyYou]

I don't play SE. Never bothered with it, as a fair few of my 'must have' mods don't exist for SE..... LE still runs good on my win 10 machine, even fairly modded..... Was playing starfield of late though..... but, haven't even been doing that since I cam down with some virus or other that seriously kicked my ass....... Couldn't even concentrate enough to play...... Still not out of the woods yet... and it's been almost two weeks...... Holy smokes.

 

What did beth do with SE, aside from various updates??? I know that caused some version issues for mods...... and CC content? Don't you have to actually buy that, to play it?

[InDarkestNight]

8 hours ago, HeyYou said:

I don't play SE. Never bothered with it, as a fair few of my 'must have' mods don't exist for SE..... LE still runs good on my win 10 machine, even fairly modded..... Was playing starfield of late though..... but, haven't even been doing that since I cam down with some virus or other that seriously kicked my ass....... Couldn't even concentrate enough to play...... Still not out of the woods yet... and it's been almost two weeks...... Holy smokes.

 

What did beth do with SE, aside from various updates??? I know that caused some version issues for mods...... and CC content? Don't you have to actually buy that, to play it?

With the infamous ae update, they force-installed various pieces of CC garbage into everyone's games. This includes things like their cheap knock-off of frosfall, this mod that adds in a bunch of OP and non-lore-friendly alchemy ingredients, something that adds new summons that just about every spell mod includes, the list goes on and on. They force-installed s#*! that conflicts with 90% of the mods out there. Then this doesn't include the AE version, which has so much cc installed in it you can't use a single mod at all. Worse yet, the thing is unstable and the cc included even conflict with each other. To add insult to injury, since its a dlc, you can't get steam to return it, so once you've bought it you literally can never play SE again mods or no. Its why LE mods have experienced a resurgence after that assault by bethesda. Its because a huge swath of the skyrim community can't play SE in any shape or form anymore! Of course, not having bought that dlc doesn't make that much of a difference, but still.

[zixi]

I find not being able to turn off some of that CC slightly irksome. But I'm pretty sure I can deselect the whole caboodle via the DLC tab on Steam however,  I'm not going to test that theory just at the moment as I've just got the whole thing stable and as we use ASDL here with a download speed measure in days (I'm not joking!) I'd rather not try to prove that just now... I do sympathise though. I agree that it would be nice to be able to switch some of it on and off. I found that if you start a new profile it will want to download the whole lot again (goodbye a vast bit of my life!) but if you quit and then return to the game it doesn't continue the download and you can then choose which ones to download. One of the modders created a whole load of patches too which means that the CC doesn't automatically start and that improved my gaming experience a great deal too. But that might not work for you... it depends on your perception of it and your gaming style.

I've been gaming for a long time too. I love games - particularly rpgs but I have to admit the best 'game' right now is getting them to run on Linux... I saw elsewhere that you talked about writing text based games but our connection today is so wonky that I couldn't bear just now to watch it sloshing about while I tried to find the post. I can't help thinking that sometimes being on the other end of gaming (ie modding, writing, voice acting, bug testing etc etc)  might be a way of finding new enthusiasm... maybe...

@HeyYou - if you stop by again; I hope you're feeling better!

 

[InDarkestNight]

Well, I guess I really have no reason to not quit gaming now. My computer has broken. It has the infamous 21a error. I was able to use system restore to fix it the last time, but this didn't help this time. Probably because its last restore point was dated the 19th rather than the 18th. I did multiple scans and found nothing, so I have no clue what could be wrong. It can't be a hardware issue if doing a system restore fixed it. I literally can do nothing else to the thing now. None of the other bug-fixing options work. I also don't have the money to repair this stupid thing, and honestly I'd rather not take it to a shop due to the more 'adult' mods I have on it, and my less than tolerant home town. Fml, I wish I never downloaded that garbage now.

So yeah, for the forseeable future, and most likely forever, the only computer I have now is my laptop which can run virtually nothing. Oh, and the sound card in this thing is utter garbage, so there's that too. Guess I really won't be gaming anymore, whether I like it or not. Unless I can figure out how to code an AI for my text-based games (last project stalled due to me not having a single clue how to code an ai for a freaking card game of all things).

Guess there's also no reason for me to come here anymore, given that I obviously can never use any of the mods here again. I hate the digital world. Why can nothing f*#@ing last? Clearly I just need to stop letting myself get attached to material things. I'm going to end up with nothing sooner or later anyway, may as well start preparing myself right now rather than waiting until the very end.

Bye, and thanks for the mods. If only things could've been better. f*#@ bethesda, and all gaming companies, and all tech companies, and this bullshit world that forces you to use the bloody internet EVEN THOUGH YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER DO SO FOR YOUR SAFETY. Again, bye, and I guess I'll never be posting anywhere again now.

[JimboUK]

If you're sure it hardware related do a clean install of Windows, it's not like you've got anything to lose.