It has finally happened, I've lost all my games....

[InDarkestNight]

All my other games on steam were destroyed by updates. Skyrim Le is literally all I had left. Now, I don't see myself being able to use the steam platform anymore. I've faced relentless harrassment on there, and been blamed for it all far too damned many times. Now, I don't even want to open that program anymore. I tried to see if I could buy Skyrim LE on GoG, but its not listed. If I can't play Skyrim without steam, then the game is dead to me. Yeah, I can still technically start up the program, but I can't stand having anything to do with steam anymore again.

Besides, I'll be honest, I wasn't too keen on making youtube videos about Skyrim anyway. Its a game that has drawn far too many open white supremacists. I honestly believe the game needs to just die and be forgotten, as much as I genuinely love it, due to that reason. Its better for this world that this game falls into obscurity. Obviously, I wasn't too happy about the idea of making videos about it and further fueling the fire. Besides, it would appear youtube channels are all struggling for cash now; they apparently were just experiencing a brief bubble due to the pandemic, which is now over and even the most popular of channels are having to find alternate sources of revenue.

I don't know what I want out of this thread; my gaming days are over, due to no fault of my own. I'll never play another game again. Its finally part of my past. Funny, when I was young I saw video games as for young people like me, and couldn't understand what appeal they would have to adults. Guess I'm now one of those people who played games their whole life and now have turned their backs on it. I've been gaming longer than I can literally remember. My earliest memories playing games was playing Super Mario bros 3 on the NES, and I was already familiar with the first few levels. I legitimately can't recall when I first played that game. Now, its all over, torn away from me and as much as I fought to prevent it, it was all for nought.

Guess that means I have no reason to be on this platform too. Why would a non-gamer be here? Seriously? What would be the point? I'll never download another mod, or make one of my own. If I do game, its only going to be through cheap things I make myself. Too bad worthless Ubuntu doesn't have the python prompt, so I can't run any of the python programs I've made. I made several for my programs with its prompt in mind, so now they don't work right even if I run them through idle's test program. Fml. I can still run them on my windows laptop though; guess I should just stick to laptops now so I can continue to run my python programs? Besides, what's the point in a $1,000 gaming computer when you don't game? I just paid $150 for a new ssd to get this running again, and now its utterly useless. Why must life be so cruel and merciless? Life is more horrible than any dystopian story I've ever seen, seriously. Hell, most of them seriously look utopic to me the world is so unimaginably horrible. Why must the world be like this? Why can't humans give a rats ass about each other? Why do all corporations have to be pure absolute evil? Why do we have to rely on contaminated food flooded with growth hormones and other horrible s#*!? You literally can't get non-toxic for at all, at least if you want to continue living. I've thought about becoming vegetarian just so I can avoid toxic meat, but apparently those chemicals also go into milk and eggs, so that wouldn't save me, and if I didn't consume those dies I would suffer all manner of horrible things due to lack of b12. Guess I should maybe buy my own chickens, and live off of their eggs. At least that way I could know for certain that the damned chickens aren't being poisoned. Hell, even their meat would be safe.

Sorry, I'm going now. I've just had a horrible few days and have been forced to give up a hobby that's been a part of my life for 37 years now. Nearly 4 decades. I have done this, and now its gone forever, and can never return. What a wonderful world we live in, isn't it?

[7531Leonidas]

Hey, IDN - I think that you are being a bit too gloomy.  My gaming history goes all the way back to Pong.  Things change.  I use a very few games to break away from the 'real' world for awhile, in a world I can have more control over.  I too, do not like the current gaming genre, too much information mining, and the lack of control/possession inherent in streaming content.  It really bothers me that classics like 'Gone With the Wind' could one day be removed from the public, like Disney's wartime cartoons of the 1930's and 40's, simply because we think their concepts were evil, instead of using them as a glimpse of history.

Everyone has the greed factor in their being, it is a survival trait.  When ppl group up, I am sure that it is magnified.  However, you can only be responsible for YOU, try to find fulfillment out of what you do, and parse the responses in the frame of constructive feedback.  Example - you cited harassment and 'open white supremacists', but said nothing about the matching trends for the ability to ban all conversation that disagrees with the public imperative for diversity, income equity, climate change mitigation, or any drawbacks/disadvantages of these viewpoints.

Steam is in the business to make money, just like you were in YT videos.  If they don't change, they don't keep getting money.  Your gaming days need not be "over", if you can find some other enjoyment out of them, and maybe a little profit.  You like to mod games, learn to mod those games, and put your stuff out there, maybe even older games that are in the public domain.

BTW, I think you are a bit too hypersensitive about food contaminants.  ALL foods are toxic, to some extent.  That is why we evolved with livers and kidneys.  IMO, a lot of the 'research' on food is simply wild speculation often based on ultra-stringent standards, instead of the idea of 'the poison is in the dose'.  By the standards you 'seem' to operate under, even getting your own chickens wouldn't work, as anything you feed them would be contaminated by insecticides/herbicides, and local contaminants in the ground.  Yes 'every thing is out to get you' is true in nature, as well as 'everything has a proper use/application.  Remember - "THE POISON IS IN THE DOSE".  Not just saying this, I do have a BS in chemistry, even though not specifically in this area.

There are 'experts' in every area that seem to need to have others regard them as saviors, from some heretofore unseen/unheeded harm.  IGNORE THEM, unless they can point to a possible mechanism/process that causes a problem.  They just cause more stress and bleak outlooks.

Just be careful, it seems to me like you are pulling yourself into a cocoon (or a death shroud).  Make it a cocoon that you plan to exit, having made some choices to change some areas.  Please.  Get some help if necessary.

[InDarkestNight]

I've met all manner of denialists, I was just mentioning the most common things I've seen in the Skyrim community. Though I do recall getting into a debate with some once over whether or not the Earth is round, seriously Then there's the ludicrous number of people in the community who deny the harm that bethesda is doing to the skyrim community. It would probably take me hours to list every form of denialism I've encountered. I even seriously ran into some videos on youtube once claiming that the sky is a hologram, seriously. I sorta remember those because in a way, its like them denying that the sky is blue. That's actually sorta amusing, even if it is rather dark.

[7531Leonidas]

I think that at least some good portion of those denialists are really just trolls that will argue with a wall, a rock, or a tree.  They seem to love attacking someone else's reality/perceptions.

BTW, I am glad you replied, I am never quite sure if I should comment on such a personal post, or if what I say will come across as I intended.  I hope that you have several people IRL to discuss things with/laugh with.

Re: Beth - It is hard to realize that even if all of Nexus is considered, how small the community really is to Beth.  They are trying to transform Skyrim into some sort of income source that flows predominately through their channels, and not others.  If followed to an extreme, or even likely, conclusion - it could well severely restrict the current modding community, but it could also get some kind of antitrust reaction.  They had better be careful.

[zixi]

30 minutes ago, 7531Leonidas said:

I hope that you have several people IRL to discuss things with/laugh with

Me too! I so hope you have someone to listen in reality. Laughter is always good. We can't see your reaction; it isn't easy on line. Sadly, it's very blunt and doesn't have the nuances or the ability to adjust to your reactions. 

I agree with 7531Leonidas - there's always a tension in situations like this where businesses play off profit with the communities' toleration of their 'greed'. But it's not all like that! There are organisations with some kind of morality mixed in with the profit making. Sometimes you have to decide which morality is just too far from your own to deal with them. I don't know if this will work for you - it works for me - but because of my views there are loads of things I don't like. When that happens I choose an organisation to represent all the bits I dislike and disapprove of and they become the organisation I won't deal with. For example, I have a supermarket who have gone too far, a bank ditto, a software house etc etc... and in that way I manage it. Bethesda are now MS so there's a contradiction for me. I won't buy Starfield now. And I'm seriously wondering about TES6 *if* I ever see it.  At the moment I'm playing Oblivion so Skyrim's state (physical and moral) doesn't trouble me for the time being. I'm trying to work out what I think.  If you've read this far then I'd say for your own peace of mind don't try to take on everything. And not everyone will agree with you but that will make the ones who **do**, all the more precious. 

 

 

[InDarkestNight]

No, I don't have anyone to talk to, due to no fault of my own. Besides, who could I talk to me about this? I have tried to talk to people online about my various problems, but I never find a solution.

That said, I have been spending time downloading some games I've bought in the past on steam (I've only re-downloaded 3 different games since installing Ubuntu). I'm having problems getting some of them to work though, and after my latest experiences on the platform I see no point in asking for technical help. Besides, let's be real, its not like I would get it anyway. Normally I just get accused of lying to try and defame the game in question, seriously. Like I said, steam seems to be nothing but denialists and conspiracy theorists. Disturbingly, I've even gotten this from the developers of some of the games I bought!

That said, I have more things going wrong besides this. I'm having finanical problems, of course, I also have no music to listen to all and haven't for 4 years now. To make a long story short, I found out all the music I liked was evil. And I don't mean I 'canceled' it. One genre the artists I was listening to were literal slaves (the governement of their country even fully acknowledged they were chattel, seriously), and the other I recently found out was white supremacist music that didn't make it too apparent on the surface, seriously. I literally know of no other music, and I've been unable to find anything else that appeals to me even slightly. I have asked for help regarding that multiple times, and have gotten a lot of recommendations, but again none of it appealed to me. Guess I'm just too used to music being made by evil, vile people that I find no appeal in anything else? And yes, I've been accused of being into cancel culture a lot over this. I'm not into that, though I do admit I question that assessment at times since it seems I can't listen to anything anymore without feeling sick to my stomach. I just can't enjoy any of my old music anymore knowing now what it actually is. That's actually been my latest problem lately, but again I can find no solution to it. How did I get drawn into evil music in the first place? Did youtube send me down a rabbit hole thinking that because I ran into some evil music I liked I wanted to see more? At times honestly I've felt like youtube's algorthm was trying to bully me off the platform because it keeps shoving that s#*! into my face no matter how many times I tell it I never ever want to see any of it again. Worthless website.

[7531Leonidas]

IDN - I don't know what your criteria are for 'white supremacists', but I do know that ANY search algorithm leads you back to stuff that is similar to what you have already procured/searched for.  Maybe you should look for help in getting rid of your various histories in the search engines, or use different search engines?  Maybe even one of the tracking cookie blockers like Ghostery or Duck Duck Go?

Also, getting rid of product because of its sources kind of is the definition of 'cancel' culture, like the BBC placing 'trigger' warnings on the original James Bond movies.  Everything is a product of its time, and our time just happens to be an era where it is possible to reach/see many more cultures and viewpoints, each (IMO) with its own unstated presumptions and prejudices.  Go back and look at the actual message(s) promoted in your old stuff, maybe with the lyrics text files?  Analyze your own prejudices.

[RomanR]

Buddy, I think it's time to get yourself together a little. It's very hard to help you, because ot seems you really don't want your problems to be solved, you just complain about them endlessly. 

About the second paragraph - Steam isn't a only platform there you can by a game. Good Old Games for example exists too, and now there is even Skyrim to buy (SE version though). And yes, Linux isn't much platform for gaming even today, so guides and help in general are rare.

And third: I don't how serious your financial problems are and it's not my business anyway, but it should take the most priority to solve them now. Game and music problems in the light of it are secondary, really. About music you stopped to listen - I really didn't understand your reasons. The first ones were practicaly slaves as you said it, but how it make them or their music evil? You're propably disgust that company which employ them, but these artists propably need your support by listening to their music. If no one buys or listen to their music, they will lose their job. The second one, well, if you found it for yourself, it's OK. But the meaning of this term is so twisted in my eyes now. So often to be abused to mark someone, like other similar terms, now are empty words. Maybe if you explain it in more detail?

[InDarkestNight]

Honestly, I don't care much about who made something. I do play a fantasy game afterall, which let's be real was probably at least partially inspired by white supremacism. I'm also a Lovecraft fan too, so I'm well familiar with artists with controversial views. Regarding the slave music, I quit it a few years ago after the slaves started killing themselves due to how they're treated. The government even then refused to outlaw slavery in their country. Even before then though, the industry was taking a toll on my mental health due to the relentless nightmare stories coming out of it. As for the white supremacist music, I only found out about this after I started asking online why a lot of the bands I listened to seemed to express right-wing views. I always knew it was looked down upon, but I thought it was just a moral panic. That all changed when I found out where it came from, or how even today the genre is still defined by the race of the members rather than the music itself (its quite a diverse genre, which is apparently because its not defined by sound or content at all). I quit that because I was afraid I would be brainwashed into far-right views by it, which is a rampant problem on youtube. Either way, after the slave music thing I've become overly concerned by the ethics behind the production of all media I consume. I don't trust any industry that bears even the slightest resemblance to that slave industry, because I can't help but think they're treating their 'employees' like complete and utter s#*!. I mean, what those people are doing would get you life in prison in the US its so atrocious. Didn't help that was coming from a technically right-wing nation too, albeit a relatively benign one.

No, I don't believe the fantasy genre should be abolished just because it may have some elements of white supremacy in it. I don't believe Lovecraft should be canceled just because of views he expressed primarily in private letters (yes, some of his racism does show through in his works, but what he wrote was rarely actually about race). Side note, I personally think his use of the n-word in The Picture in the House adds something to the work, even if he didn't intend it that way (I would explain why, but that would be giving away spoilers). Not that I think it was justified in some of his other pieces. I'm tired of people insisting I'm into cancel culture just because I'm sorta traumatized by that slave industry. Also, I did technically get canceled on reddit once due to a gross misunderstanding myself. I've thought particularly negative of cancel culture since then. Yes, there's entertainers who do things that are wrong, and there is some question-ability regarding the ethics of some of our media (and sometimes artists do make their art for immoral reasons, such as to try and promote their own sickening views), but cancel culture is a form of vigilantism. Its mainly a moral panic. I mean, right now they're essentially putting the fantasy genre through the satanic panic again, even if its in a completely different form. Also, it disproportionately affects lower class people, because rich people have a far easier time recovering. So yes, it disproportionately affects disadvantaged groups. Progressivism my ass. I do admit though, I'm hesitant to criticize it because people may assume I'm part of the far right, which I'm obviously not. There's also the issue of how they're curtailing free speech. You can't say anything about anything that's even remotely controversial, because half of our country is going to cancel you for it regardless of what you say, or god forbid your views don't align perfectly with one or the other, so then EVERYONE CANCELS YOU.

[RomanR]

Yes, it's sad how even in 21st century something like this exist still. Slavery, wars ... people are still same, despite all progress the humankind made. And what country it could be? In every country which signed at least Universal Declaration of Human Rights something like this is a serious crime. Still, you really can't save or make happy everyone in this world. It's impossible and if it gets to you too much, you'll get insane or become hearthless monster. So the most racional thing is for example of these poor artists to listen to their music again, despite the conditions in what was made.

I admit that I'm noticing a growing indifference as a reaction of all these bad news every day. And as my race is something like kick-bucket now, blamed for all evil in a world (admitting not completely without a reason), this indifference grows only stronger and stronger.

But back to the bright side again. It seems that you managed to solve your Skyrim problem. Congrats on that. I hope that is only a start of good news coming from you.