Well I Need Advice...

[Peregrine]

Well if you need details shes 16 years old about 5 feet 9 inches (have idea what that hight is in metric so don't ask). Blue eyes, black hair and a bit of a Tom-Boy, but she's nice. :blush:

 

No, details of the situation. Why isn't it a simple "hey, I like you, want to go do (insert activity she likes here)?" problem? Since you're coming to a forum for advice, there must be some unusual circumstances that keep you from using the normal straightforward approach.

[ThetaOrionis01]

Contrary to popular belief, females are not a separate species (though of course deadlier than the male :P ). And grabbing her by the braids and dragging her off to your longship sort of went out of fashion with the Vikings.

 

So, assuming that you've followed Malchik's guidelines to ensure at least a vague resemblance to a human being, the next step is simple - communication.

 

It seems that many males infer from the simple fact that we females expect them to be psychic when it comes to buying us presents that we females can read their minds, and that verbal communication is therefore not necessary (btw - 'verbal communication' in this context, usually excludes anything to do with football, the intricacies of the internal combustion engine, or railway timetables).

 

While talking to her might seem the obvious next step, this is infact anything but simple as it is governed by a complex equation including such variables as number of other females within earshot, self-esteem and fear of public humiliation.

 

Try to speak to her when she is not surrounded by a giggling gaggle of friends, as the number of giggling friends within earshot exponentially increases the risk of public humiliation.

 

Don't boast about your grades, your 1337ness, how you pwned the n00bs at some game or other, or anything else worth boasting about. Showing off and risk of public humiliation are directly proportional.

 

Find some common ground to start from, ideally something you can both agree on - how unfair/evil a certain teacher is, how the meals in the cafeteria are part of a government experiment in crowd control, etc.

 

Don't immediately volunteer strong opinions - eg 'don't you think that anyone still using Internet Explorer should be banned from using a computer?' might not work too well as an opening gambit (unless you know for a fact that she shares this opinion)

 

Music is a good topic to steer conversation towards. However, be careful not to state outright that such and such a band sucks, just in case they're her favourites.

 

A sense of humour always helps. If you can laugh at yourself, chances are that people will laugh with you rather than at you. :)

 

 

Good luck :)

[Gabbemaster]

And when you go deeper in the relationship, don't forget to tell her how much you love her, do it much, often, and allways. You can never tell a woman that you love her, to many times.

[loveme4whoiam]

Hurrah, actual female input into a thread discussing that species :P

 

Interestingly, I've found that starting off with strong opinions, especially if I know she has contrary ones, is a great way to start a conversation, but only if you do it in the right, funny, way. For example, I just started at a new job (Waterstones, woo :D ) and there's a girl there who has a picture of Richard Hammond on the inside of her locker o_O . So, being a good-natured joker that I am, I made some remark about her being intimidated by tall men. After an, erm, I suppose I'll have to call it interesting, there's not many other words to describe it, I walked away with her mobile number. Call it luck if you will (I do most of the time), but getting girls uppetty (you know what I mean) is often a great way to start them talking to YOU, not the other way round.

 

Of course, Theta's most likely right and that was probably a fluke, but it's something to keep in mind :)

 

And when you go deeper in the relationship, don't forget to tell her how much you love her, do it much, often, and allways. You can never tell a woman that you love her, to many times.

 

Be careful on this one - I've seen many a friend's relationship break up because one of the two said it too much and became "sappy" (her word). :unsure: I doesn't make sense to me, there you go.

[Gabbemaster]

My experience is that you can never say that to much. But what did she mean with sappy? That the word losed is meaning because overused? Well, ofcourse you have to MEAN what you say, otherwhise there is no point. And I said

do it much, often, and allways

because unfortunately many of us guys forget the importance of telling our belowed ones that we 'really' care for them and love them.

[Malchik]

Possibly what she means was it sounded 'routine'. You do need to be a bit careful. As an actor I have met a few luvvies who call everyone 'darling' and say 'I love you' or usually just 'love you' to anyone and everyone. It has no real meaning at all. And if you always say it, whether or not you mean it, it loses force. So gabbe I don't agree that you can never say it too much. Words aren't enough. You must SHOW you care. And in moments of passion be a little careful as males are apt to say some rather odd things that when their partners think them over can be counter-productive.

 

"Who were you talking about just then?" is not a line you want to hear!

[Gabbemaster]

Ofcourse you must 'show' that you care. You have to do all those things, tell her, show her, etc... My post was not an attempt to tell people that 'this is the only way to make the girls like you' just one of the many things you have to think about in a relationship.

[Mercbird]

Smile (after Malchick's checklist) unless you have incredibly bad teeth, being nice pays off. A guy came back to were I was working buying six packs of gum on one day just to see me smile. I dated him for two years. Oh, if she stops smiling back, walk away. A lot can be read in a smile, if she for instance drops her face slightly and looks at you through hair or lashes and so on. The repeated smile and eye contact thing in a club or pub or public gathering works(ed) for/on me. I like Loveme's opinion thing, that aproach would work on me too :excl:

Sticking your finger up anywhere, yours or hers, is not going to work (till later)((much, much later)).

 

The repetitive automatic I-love-you knee jerk makes me really mad. It implies insecurity and dependance and when uttered so easily too soon, or simply a habit, its kind off entrapment, especially at 16 when long term relatioships is not what dating and falling in love is about.

Take it easy, when I say 'sappy' I'm telling him nicely to back of and let me breathe some. No one likes being overpowered.

Unless they are wearing the leather strap-on, of course... :ohmy:

[loveme4whoiam]

*Mercbird watches her inbox as fifty requests for pictures of her, now she has come out of the virtual closet and proclaimed herself (shock horror) a woman, that rarest of beings, pop up in quick succession, all from the same email address. Loveme4whoiam turns bright pink as his disgustingly perverted ways are discovered and heads for the hills*

 

Yay, more female input! One thing I have learned is that actually asking a girl what sort of thing gets them interested is a damn good way to learn the general stuff. I have plenty of girl friends (friends who are... oh, nevermind) and they all say the same thing - funny gets them every time. Not exactly laugh-out-loud funny, more "Oh, haha, he isn't afraid to take the mick, I wonder if he has a significant someone" funny. Capture that "I'm a cool, charming, confident stud who isn't arrogant" style of being, and you capture her, I guarantee it (not a guarantee).