To be alone or not to be alone that is the question.

[L33Nexus]

I barely talk to my family except for my brother who's come back from Uni, my dads having a rough time at the moment what with the death of my Uncle and all and so is my mom and all of us really, he was such a huge part of my family.

 

But since that happened i tend to steer clear of my family for a while because there really snappy so i just hang with friends.

 

but i don't want to all the time so instead to pass the time keep my mind off my uncle and keep clear of my quite depressed family i just hop on my computer and do something worthwhile that takes a degree of concentration like modding :)

 

I'd say in situations like these no matter how solitare you want to feel visiting a friend or someone your in a relationship with always helps because they always cheer you up in some way.

 

My friend for example will do something obscenely crazy just to make me laugh.

[LHammonds]

... but you know what? I DONT CARE! i dont care what those people think. I have learnt that the only way that you can survive in this world is not to give a damn about what people say about you, and live your life as you want to live it.. no other way. otherwise you will end up being used as a doormat for people to wipe their feet on.

:thumbsup:

 

Here's something funny, I dated a hot girl and ended up marrying her...one of the things that she liked about me that is that I did not let her or anyone else walk all over me. She could walk all over her prior boyfriends. All of my life, I have only cultivated friends that are not "needy" and can stand on their own two feet. I don't have a single friend that will get upset if I don't call them for a month at a time.

 

I have one of those philosophies where you work hard and play hard...there is just not much time left over for wishy-washy business. Do what you enjoy, pick a line of work that feels like you are taking a vacation each time you leave the house and have friends/acquaintances at work that you can laugh with during the day.

 

As you have learned early on, if you wear your emotions on your sleeve, people can easily knock it off. If you don't depend on others to make yourself happy, you're not likely to have so many issues. It has been said that nobody can "make" you happy or unhappy...it is you that decides how you react to your environment. It is a difficult concept to "get" but if you can control your emotions, you can remove a major tool "bullies" have over you. Bullies thrive on making people feel belittled to make themselves feel better. A book I would recommend to anyone for reading is a book called "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie which has many stories in it and shows how you can change your line of thinking when handling potential problem situations. It all falls back to how you "think" as to how you "feel" and how you ultimately "react" to your environment. Change how you "think" and you can positively impact how you feel and react.

 

LHammonds

[L33Nexus]

Wow some nice words there mate :D

 

I'm glad my friends or myself isn't needy :) i just do my own thing really :D

[species5478]

This is a touchy subject for me, because I lived around a lot of people who called themselves friends but were anything but. Only with time away from them, was I able to see things for what they were. So I withdrew from the scene and became so comfortable being alone, that I've abandoned many of my former activities and couldn't be happier. People are only a stone's throw away and now, I've begun to discover who I am as an individual, and not my role as a part of the group that I'd been accustomed to over the years. I can't ever see withdrawing from society because I crave attention but I think there are definitely times when a period of self discovery is necessary to evolve one's understanding of not just self, but of life and others.

[Zephyr2011]

Definitely, sometimes solitude is necessary to learn more about yourself and sometimes you can't listen to other people you just have to figure it out for yourself what you should do. Isolation is perfectly healthy in the proper dosage.

[Deleted54170User]

<br />I am sure most of you have wanted to be left alone at least once in your life, and again i am sure most of you have just wanted some company.<br /><br />But what a confusing sensation it is when you feel both at the same time is it not? You have to choose either one or the other or it feels like you are about to be ripped in two. But sometimes it is an impossible decision.... what then? stay in your room and sulk the entire week? Or just sleep it off until someone has to get worried about you?<br />Or do you just put on a happy face and act to be well and content with your life, when on the inside you feel overwhelmed with nothingness.... eventually having no more imotion than a toy robot.<br />Not wanting to do anything, but wanting to do something all at the same time. I may sound crazy, but i like to climb to the top of a tall tree and just sit there for hours just thinking. It helps to clear my head.<br /><br />Now for my question what would you do?<br />

 

I have tried to be alone, and yet, even inanimate objects keep me company.

Memories they hold remind me of when I was surrounded by people.

A box, a shoe, a piece of string, or a item that belonged to a total stranger I won or bought from a store.

Everything makes me think of someone or some time I shared a moment or two with others.

It is those good times I seek to recall from objects.

The need for company calls after the remorse of those passing times are washed away. The passions each object brings back to my memory wakes me from my dream.

 

A dream of a reality of a memory in a picture made from the paper made from the bark of another tree like the one I used to climb before I got too big to. Even the tree's I have known kept me company for a time.

 

Have a Joyous Prosperous Happy New Year!

[WaLkAwaY]

My suggestion: Read a book. LHammonds

 

I will be honest I did not read all of the posts in this thread as I had not time to do so. I will however second this notion as when you find a book that hits home it can make all the difference in the world. Personally for me when I am at a low point or depressed I pick up and start reading all of the Dark Elf series books by R.A. Salvatore.

 

There are I think 13 in all but the ones that might help you, because they deal with the inner struggle of being alone and wanting companionship as well as having that companionship and still having the desire to be alone are:

 

The Dark Elf Trilogy and The Icewind Dale Trilogy

 

Also I would say maybe see someone professionally. You sound depressed to me not just in a melancholy mood or Dysthymic. I am not a psychology major but that is what it sounds like to me. Keep in mind I am not trying to diagnose or poke fun. Being depressed feeling over whelmed for whatever reason has a lasting impact on your life and life is too short to even miss a little of it through not enjoying it. Something may have happened in your past that is not fully coming out until now or is leeching slowly into your world now. I talk from experience having dealt with depression and other more sinister things that have happened to me. Honestly I am still depressed only now I can see where and when it is happening the warning signs for the highs and/ or lows (uni-polar/bipolar) and use (as weird as this may sound) my own little type of meditation for stopping the intrusive thoughts that trigger deeper gloom.

 

That's just my 2 cents. Best of luck. :biggrin:

[Balagor]

My suggestion: Read a book. LHammonds

 

I will be honest I did not read all of the posts in this thread as I had not time to do so. I will however second this notion as when you find a book that hits home it can make all the difference in the world. Personally for me when I am at a low point or depressed I pick up and start reading all of the Dark Elf series books by R.A. Salvatore.

 

There are I think 13 in all but the ones that might help you, because they deal with the inner struggle of being alone and wanting companionship as well as having that companionship and still having the desire to be alone are:

 

The Dark Elf Trilogy and The Icewind Dale Trilogy

 

Also I would say maybe see someone professionally. You sound depressed to me not just in a melancholy mood or Dysthymic. I am not a psychology major but that is what it sounds like to me. Keep in mind I am not trying to diagnose or poke fun. Being depressed feeling over whelmed for whatever reason has a lasting impact on your life and life is too short to even miss a little of it through not enjoying it. Something may have happened in your past that is not fully coming out until now or is leeching slowly into your world now. I talk from experience having dealt with depression and other more sinister things that have happened to me. Honestly I am still depressed only now I can see where and when it is happening the warning signs for the highs and/ or lows (uni-polar/bipolar) and use (as weird as this may sound) my own little type of meditation for stopping the intrusive thoughts that trigger deeper gloom.

 

That's just my 2 cents. Best of luck. :biggrin:

 

I fully agree with you SWAT_WaLkAwaY.

MoDqUeen, i think this is the best advise given to you so far.

I am bipolar my self, but medicated.

I did not have the guts to speak about it earlier,

but i wasted a great deal of my life, not knowing what was wrong with me.

Not even the doctors knew.

I just went in and out of "cuckoos nest" for severeal years, until that lucky day when a doctor told me,

i was just bipolar, and need medication.

Ever since i have been fine.

Let me add, that my problems started when i was 14, and i was diagnosed when i was 43.

It took some time, because i was not aware, that i actually had a desease that needed

a doctors attention.

[wizardmirth]

I've been watching this topic for a while, not feeling the need to say any more because others have been so helpful. It's nice to know the games you love can be filled with like-minded people, by which I mean cool and not attention-grabbing folk. My only additonal contribution: younger people tend to need social interaction more than older. If you need it then show us all how cool you are by satisfying your own ego by making friends with someone and not killing them.

 

P.S. Damn that's one hell of a long P.S., Ranokoa. Sure you couldn't have just put that into your main post and then switch places with the P.S.? I mean, goddamn man.

[wizardmirth]

PS: Person who was always teased. I am sorry that happened to you. I used to get teased a lot myself until I started kickin the blank out of people who even dared open their trap. Then it was really fun to get teased cause I got to try out new ways of hurting people. Then I found weed and learned how to chill. Then I was dubbed Toker J. by like flippin everybody all spontaneously after a while it felt like a conspiracy theory, and all those that teased me tried to be my friends. So I made their lives hell, and from then on decided to do things peacefully and not try to hospitalize people. Actually more or less I converted to a different religion and became a very god fearing man. >_<

 

Anyways, I know how the teasing can hurt. Now I seriously couldn't give a care but back then in the brunt of things when my life at school, at home, and at what was supposed to be a father..'s house. It was all hell, I was continuously in the middle of violence at an age where I haven't the muscle to protect myself. Ridicule and shouting was all I ever knew, I never had a childhood. My father was a male without a father and my step father was an alcoholic rage-o-holic. If I wasn't gettin beat by mr.Bio I was gettin punched by mr.drunkard. It got to the point finally when my pedophile father was found and taken away from us that I was beginning to grow into something that had the mass behind him to defend himself, and promptly took on all Mr.Drunkard had to offer. I would challenge him, I would berate him, I would do what ever it took to get him from EVER hitting my mother again, because if he EVER got that far again I knew I would kill him in cold blood that would warmly splatter across the room in a raining shower of iron-tasting sprinkles.

 

Now we stand outside and bum smokes off eachother and are actually pretty tight. Since the economy was bad he got worse, then he got a job out of town and had to spend months at a time away from the house. It allowed us all to calm down and forget how much we loathe his presence. Then HE had to actually slow WAAAAAY down on his drinking to keep his job. Things have gotten good.. or at least better. Arguments are rare...er.. and I never really have to worry about violence. Now I carry a knife on me at all times and have at least 2 weapons within 1 foot of me at all times in my room just for safety from breakins, not having to kill him.

 

I am one of the fortunate who grew emotionally numb from an early age when life decided to torment me and when my ass got numb because it was being whipped too much, literally, black and sometimes only blue.

 

So life goes on as a boring monotonous melancholic myriad of disappointments and nothing can ever truly affect me too severely anymore. I adapted, hope you do too, because pain is always much less painful when you simply die a little inside rather than have your soul crushed.

 

Be well, sleep well, fight well, live long.

~Ranokoa

 

I mean come on, man. If that was an Oblivion monster straight from the gates of oblivion hell I'd be dead 20 times over, at least. Mods included. I'm not putting down what you're saying, just that you chose to put the majority of your dialogue into the P.S. section of your reply. Sorry, but I find that really funny.