Life Lessons You Would Pass On

[davidmg]

72. a conversation with child: Daddy how come you dont let us do anything here, we used to have so much fun in the other place.

I know, tell you what, I will go to Primera and get you a teddy bear, I know it isn't much and we will take vacation and go to Loken soon.

Can we? Can we? really can we go to Loken?

Yes for Vacation

 

2 days later

Daddy is it vacation yet

next day

Daddy is it vacation yet

NO it isn't vacation yet, I will let you know when it is, how about I let you go play with the Dark Guardian, just remember DONT TEASE HIM, and dont bring our pet, they dont get along. After that you can take a wooden spike and tease our friend while we are there :)

that sounds fun Daddy

 

73. Daddy did they make dungeon crawling an Olympic sport yet? not yet but soon I hope

[Nyran]

119. People don't die from "headshots". And even when you hit them with my big claymore they don't die. You should instead make them fall from 3meter hight they will drop dead!

120. NEVER try to get a higher rank within the mageguild then "Apprentice".

76. Best not join the mageguild.

121. Food never goes to waste. Just keep it 'till you need it.

122. Weapons can break when you hit a rat.

[The_Vyper]

Attempting to correct the numbering. Current one sure start a 123:

 

123. All storage devices in Tamriel are bigger in the inside than on the outside. Therefore, they must be made by Time Lords. They can hold much more inside than their external dimensions would normally permit.

 

124. Never live in a town with a corrupt guard captain. You could get fined for standing in one place too long and get fined again the next day for moving around too much.

 

125. If you become a vampire, don't try to get a tan. It won't end well for you.

 

126. There is no need to seek cover (or use an umbrella) when it rains.

 

127. Hats do not exist.

 

128. A properly enchanted ring can provide better protection than armor.

[yeldarb]

#129 DO NOT use those back soul gems to recharge anything! I am getting sick and tired of being talked to death by those Altmer idiots when I have to kill them again!!!

[The_Vyper]

130. Many people see Mud Crabs fairly often.

 

131. Many people think Mud Crabs are "disgusting".

 

132. Goblins may be stupid, but their Warlords and Shamans are extremely dangerous and hard to kill.

 

133. The Arena is not faked. It's not "ham acting and syrup". Those people really are dying.

 

134. If you see a troll coming, you run. Simple. Next question?

[lyilyi]

Haha, I found it more or less entertaining 50. You may not play in Xedilian.

 

 

135. Even as Mad god, you may not enter the lair of the faction you supported in the first place.

 

136. You cannot mine the numerous diamond summoning structures around the land.

 

137. No one seems to take down empty oblivion gate structures. Must be for good memories?

 

138. You can still manage to kill a guy and his children while in His realm

 

139. You, bandits, and all the animals of Cyrodiil are the only daily commuters for the roads of Cyrodiil.

 

140. Apparently every fort belonging to the imperial guard had "architectural flaws"

[AncientSpaceAeon]

141. Use mods

[The_Vyper]

142. An Elytra will die quickly if you jejinak it. (at least, that's what Bolwing says)

 

143. Never try to fight a Scalon in water.

 

144. A Flame Atronoch is not a "hot babe". Well, okay, it is, but it wants to kill you.

 

145. No one in Cyrodiil plays a musical instrument.

 

146. Birds are invisible to men and mer. Yes, you can hear them, but even Detect Life spells won't allow you to see them.

 

147. Gaspar, the friendly wraith is not real.

[Terramaris]

148. (Playing as a female charactor) Never call the Madgoddess, Sheogorath or Madgod or she will use your eyes for her next cane.

149. You can travel anywhere you want if you take your map and point at a location and you been there before

150. No one ever dies of old age

151. That being said no one even ages at all

152. Stop asking me for food you annoying begger, I already gave you near a million gold.

153. It is common later on in life for people to walk around in Deadric armor

154. Glass armor is stronger then chainmail

155. You can kill a fellow mage guild members, miles from civilization and be kicked out of the guild instantly

156. Same goes for guards but you will get a bounty instead.

157. You can slit someones throat in broad daylight and no one will call the guards.

 

More to come soon.

[princelusto]

158. evicerating people is an expression of your artistic side, beggars and bandits are your canvesses.

159. wood elves called fargoth are not your friend.

160.Deadly reflexes come in handy when your brothers and sisters of the sithis family get rowdy.

161.you can't climb trees unless your in the shivering isles. and if your there. good luck not being eaten by the smaller trees.

162. Do not kill schemer otherwise daddy has to send sithis to evicerate you and use your gastro intestinal tract as a condom while he fornicates with your skull.