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The answer is no.


Keanumoreira

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Plug the hole in the roof with the dismembered body of that fool who's fault it was.

 

It's saturday, I'm doing the shopping, but some idiot threw her drink at my car, how to take revenge?

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Plug the hole in the roof with the dismembered body of that fool who's fault it was.

 

It's saturday, I'm doing the shopping, but some idiot threw her drink at my car, how to take revenge?

 

Slam her hair in the door and take a joy ride. :cool:

 

My transmission to my car failed and it doesn't run anymore.

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That's not too hard to solve. Put it up on hoists, drop the transmission out, open the casing(carefully, 'box oil stains BADLY) and check everything is working properly, probably either the gears not meshing properly, or a lube leak.

 

My friend, the idiot who's mouth I forcibly nailed closed, just yelled IMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR and blew a hole in the neighbour's porch, what to do, nails have failed.

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@zprospero

 

Using your apple ipod's app, "Recruit a Zombie", you buy a day's worth of 18 zombies to be delivered to your house, via a stork that's had one too many drinks that night. Once they get to your house they will find a map and letter you had written before getting yourself into this situation because you have instructions for over 4092 problems or tragedies in case you are alone with your apple ipod needing outside assistance. Unfortunately, because you had so many problems and instructions it took them a little while to find and read what to do.

Another unexpected turn for the worse happened is you didn't realize that these discount zombies were new immigrants from Deathidia, and didn't speak or read a word of Living tongue. But it was alright because you also always leave a trail of Human crumbs wherever you go in case you need to use this one particular app out of 4092 apps. The zombies quickly follow it and get in the building you are trapped in. The trail led to an abrupt stop in a wall. Expecting more, all 18 zombies simultaneously sang one of those annoying Christmas carols, and each zombie was progressively more off key, and the wall quickly killed itself.

The zombies then found a one way mirrored room, you on the other side, and the madman right in front of them. After finishing their christmas carol, which also works to incapacitate their prey to assure an easy kill, they dined like queens. They then saw you, and tried to run at you and eat you too, but the one way mirror was bullet proof, and them, not having any brains, kept running into the glass, bouncing back, and run back at it expecting the next try to get through this invisible barrier.

After your Ipod's battery died you then got up, looked around, and saw that behind you, cleverly hidden under an "Exit Sign" was a door.

 

My dog is continuously trying to eat my monkey friend by grilling human flesh. What am I to do to ensure my dog stops getting into my stash of human flesh?

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Coat it in chocolate, as chocolate is poisonous to dogs. Mmmm, chocolate fleshy treats!

 

I've got a knife stuck in my back and my life is ebbing away, what can I do?

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Coat it in chocolate, as chocolate is poisonous to dogs. Mmmm, chocolate fleshy treats!

 

I've got a knife stuck in my back and my life is ebbing away, what can I do?

 

Take the knife and use it...irony...

 

An airplane is falling out of the sky right at me.

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Pull out a tin of patented Aeroplane Remover. That'll sort em out.

 

FOOTNOTE: Despite what it sounds like, in reality Aeroplane Remover is a paint stripper made by Aeroplane corporation for blowing the paint off metal without damaging it. It does NOT remove aeroplanes-but it comes in mighty handy when you want to repaint your car, nothing removes paint quite so cleanly. :)

 

Oh dear! WarHammer 40,000 online isnt out till 2012, I CANT WAIT THAT LONG! WHAT'S A CRAZED FANBOY TO DO?!?!

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