Day Dreams of a Spaced out Old Man

[Deleted54170User]

If things keep going the way they are

I'll be better off moving into my car

Although still on the land with a house

I own

It might be warmer safely heated

Where my house's furnace

is nearly depleted

Running like it can't get gas

making me feel

it's unsafe to guess

if the next time it fires up

the house will explode

Then my time will be up

If all else fails

and I do move out

I'll be needing some clout

and probably better get

one of these

in case the houses water pipes freeze

While I gave it much thought

in my car driving

The idea came to me

I'd only just be ignoring

the foundation of wellbeing

so if all else fails

a new house

I'll be exploring.

 

A place with an

indoor outhouse

that isn't in the

same room

as

the

combo bathtub and shower.

 

I'm definitely not going

to stop

and clean restrooms

 

Like Jeff Foxworthy suggests Rednecks do.

 

Only open the spoiler if you are really in need of some redneck humor.

 

https://www.walmart.com/ip/HILLBILLY-BATHROOM-Sign-outhouse-music-mountain-man-crapper-country-Indoor-Outdoor-14-Tall/186531746

[Deleted54170User]

I want to learn to write so that my words make your mind orchestrate.

 

 

 

I really want your thoughts to begin creating your own symphony. :geek:

[Deleted54170User]

My thoughts arose

when reading some prose.

I know not where from

They started

and often

I wrote

feeling half hearted

about what

what got me

to have them

I posted my

first post

with a thirst

mostly

for attention.

Don't tell

I discovered

when I did

I posted like

a child

wild with

desire to

have someone

admire

me,

not the words

One day

I noticed

after I pressed

post and posted

I'd misspelled

some word.

I opened

the post

in the thread

and corrected

what I wrote

and after I saved

I read it again

just to be sure

I hadn't

left anymore

unspelled words.

Wouldn't you know it

I then saw

a sentence that

made no sense.

I open the thread

to edit

and changed

and rearranged

the words

so they had

some meaning.

After I juggled

and respelled

I noticed

I had reviews.

None from any of you

but so many I started

to have that vein

in my head

falsely filling me

with vanity

the idea

it was really

someone

giving me attention

admiring

my work.

LOL

I jiggled

all over

from my laughter.

So vain

was I

I wanted

so much

to have

some attention.

I'm so glad

that I found

humor in all

All in all

and laughed

at myself

for being

greedy.

And here

one day

on another

after

several good

laughs

I started

counting

how many times

I caused

views numbers

to increase.

3

6

4

2

and even 10

views

and then

I realized

I would not

even realize

if anyone

else had

viewed

unless I remembered

the count

where I last

re-wrote

edited

and respelled.

I wondered.

Hm?

How to tell?

I copied

the last number

and checked

the next day

to see

how many

I had not caused.

And just this last month

I had not

caused a buhch

because of my

misspelling corrections,

my sentences reperfections,

and trying so

to make

my words

get more attention.

To my sight

was such

a large

number of

views

I could

not

believe

what I saw.

Almost

2400 views

In one week.

After all of them

I saw

back then

this evening

I felt I was

missing

something.

And today

what was

it was

that was

missing

finally

occurred to me.

It dropped

in

on my thought

like a mental

bomb.

Today

I've learned

I only cared

that the

words got

attention.

And what

I found

I forgot

was

the reason

I wrote

a lot

was not

getting

attention.

No admiration

that was got

was got for me.

Just to

let you know

I've reposted

3 to 5 times

this time.

He he

he he

heee.

[Deleted54170User]

Crying out for help,

as the battle outdoors

blares

while the pill

bottled in my basement

sitting on the bedside

table standing

on the floor

stares,

silently

at me,

with wonder,

will I remember with care

or will I blunder

through another day

clawing at the words

in my head

that are fighting

all who've been

living inside me

fighting a country

I cannot have

Fighting for space

where there's more

and better

in another place

All the room

in my head

and even now

those who dread

their words

will never be

aired.

[Deleted54170User]

Sad and remorseful,

 

I became

 

when I did think

 

that Doctors and their P.A.s

 

would give my mind aim

 

Assist is what I thought

 

but what I got

 

caused me to resist

 

and was unsettling.

 

It awakened

 

the part of me

 

I was keeping

 

comfortable

 

at the heart of me.

[Deleted54170User]

I cannot seemed to find my cliche'

while looking for real life friends I had I dearly miss.

 

As my aged mind senses the time passing

I think of old songs,

that remind me

where I once shared hits,

and on bongs I did inhale.

 

Sadly to no avail

 

I was looking for the cure

 

The one that prevented me

from living the dream

and try as I might

Alice's caterpillar's snuff

wasn't enough.

 

 

Even the beer eyed crowd

where I tried to live twice

became no place for me

as a vice,

 

the longer I write about what I reaped

the rewards found,

with new acquaintances

gave me heaps

of knowledge. unbound,

tied me up,

because I was told

I was too crippled

even though to work,

I went to find work bold

as ever I was,

I went to find a cure

along every path

leading there.

 

 

Even in the brewers,

I thought to find work

but noted they weren't

sober and wouldn't hire

a sick joke.

Places

where the stills they keep

beverages are made

for a different crowd

with a different care,

for non-fattening, light beer

and synthetic too,

I found.

No work to pay for my way.

 

Brews I drank

Resemble no more,

the hangovers I got,

the changes to my thought

because the brews were flat

Which from I got no intelligent matter,

only to reason with

to mind,

why others I knew grew fat.

 

I didn't find healthier means,

diabetics scared me more

for I was looking to heal,

not become sicker,

for real,

myself,

 

I tried to get wealth

from another way

each day.

 

All the cartels were fighting

all the dealers were fuming,

all the pusher were stepping

on their wares too hard

 

Even among the Cocaine crowd,

I couldn't find a clock punch card.

 

I only found advice to leave

without gaining wealth from the

wisdom that I got from that experience.

 

All about wealth is that we vary

marriage and the baby carriage

is what we think will make us merry.

 

At first at least,

until the yeast

rises the first child

blows the parents mind

as the youth I knew struggled

to give it their best

which we all seem to agree

is the true test

of parenting he he he.

 

I ran to get to the track

to join the race

fell flat on my face

to my disgrace

and never recovered

even with a good computer hack

a way to get those good

graces back.

 

I even learned to build mods

and now I think,

no wealth to pay for the drink

how odd?!

[Deleted54170User]

I drifted in and out of sight

my mind ached

tooth pain

came and went

 

my thoughts stirred

like a battle for

dark and light

the sun rose

then the night

 

What misery

I had to fight

then peace

as if all was cleared

a few moments fiction

hope and cheers

 

One tooth caused

manners to change

one tooth

so close to the brain

a nibble

on a solid bit of food

changed my mind

like a switch can change

whether a room is

dark or light.

 

My sleep is disturbed

by visions

dreams they call them

while we sleep

and yet I awaken

as if I just returned

from RL

I seem to have been

under a spell

some magician cast

to do me well

 

I don't know

I think maybe

now that the tooth

is filled

my dream sleep

will not be filled

with so much

depth where

pain battles for life.

[Deleted54170User]

I found out pain stops all other emotions from getting out, or in, that aren't pain related.

 

I would really like to have a thought

 

One that has an emotion attached to it

 

Then

 

when I have an emotion tied to some wit

 

a poem I will jot.

[Deleted54170User]

What did you say? she said.

Uh, Oh! No emotion did she feel.

What did you SAY?! she repeated.

What my mind was saying wasn't playing the correct emotional orchestration. I can't believe what was happening. It always worked before. What could I be doing wrong!

Get away from me! This man is trying to hustle me! Help!

Now I know, deeply wounded as I feel, she is only sensing my pain. Her anger is making me fearful. Her senses are going into the flight or fight gate. I know it's likely she understood my words, but because my mind didn't recognize that I wasn't healed up enough, she was calling for assistance to attack.

I live in the shadow of my pain. I gain nothing from attempting to return to where I was a partner to the fun, frolic, and game of life between men and women. I'm no fool, but that is the only school of learning I can be certain I could be earning.

Even with a dozen otc pills, all I accomplish is a dangerous thrill. I feel like Frankenstein must, when the villagers, all riled up; come carrying rakes, hoes, scythes, and sickles and sticks on fire as they climb the road to the castle to end all, ending my desires.

[Deleted54170User]

Pagafyr (Also known by the name my parents call me by, David.)

Posted Today,

@ 09:07 AM MST or 10:07 AM MDT

Adventurer, Gamer, Want to be a Member of the Explorers Guild.

Premium Member

2,593 posts

I don't want a cloudy day,

I don't what it to be like my childhood memories,

I don't what people to be sad and blue,

I just want to be happy, too.

I thought of the desert

or is it spelled dessert,

well,

either way

I was feeling like I was stranded there.

where it's always

All dry and dusty,

where cactus stand

pointing about,

at old cars

getting all rusty,

and bones of animals getting bleached out

and me there without

a doubt.

I don't want to be in a desert

I don't want to be thirsty

or hungry

and end up dry as a bone.

I just want to play

outside,

around the yard at home.

I sit here

all alone,

typing words to be sure I remember,

that what I would have enjoyed

isn't seeing everyone sad

the house all gloomy

because the sky

is holding people as they storm

about

keeping me

inside

as well as others around the town

sitting at the windows

looking out from

inside our rooms

held hostage

in our gloom,

by the clouds with

threats of rain.

I've been planning

and the simple thing to do

is

put on a rain suit

put on some galoshes,

grab an umbrella

and dash out the door

before a sister or brother

dashes out the door

before I get to.

Then I can be first to

jump in the puddles

to splash

water back up into the air.

I would rather make a rainy day a fun day to remember,