Beneath the Oak Tree

[Keanumoreira]

There laid a grace beneath a tree,

I saw her and she saw me.

The wind was timeless, the world at ease,

I begged her love atop my knees.

 

I had two eyes, she had four,

I ran one mile, she ran more.

I could jump, but she could leap,

She was strong, when I was weak.

 

We roamed the world for tales of gold,

Our minds were driven, our hearts were bold.

I took her hand, and she took mine,

And made love beneath those leaves of lime.

 

My years stayed young, yet hers was aged,

Confined to bed as if encaged.

She kissed my hand, and left a tear;

As brave as strong, without a fear.

 

Atop that hill, beneath that tree;

We placed her there, to be free.

In that spot, we lived we cried,

We loved, we shared, we touched…and died.

[Deleted54170User]

Every word my eyes could see flowed along nicely, under the wise oak tree; until a Lime hit me in the head. An acorn would not have been so big and not have interrupted the loving as much. lol

[Keanumoreira]

What's wrong P? Not fond of limes? :tongue:

[Deleted54170User]

The oak tree and the lime tree in a garden so close in respect to one another suggest that you flew from where you started and it sent my thought off topic. Since Oblivion doesn't allow Levitation and since the Super Sonic Jet's are grounded my sense of Fast Travel could not conceive of being where an Oak tree was and a Lime Tree might occur to be only a short distance apart.

 

Such a change in focus caused me a bit of a startled sense and ruined the effect of the, Time you were referring to just before you mention the Leaves of that particular Tree..

[Karithina]

I had read it more as that the leaves were a lime shaded green, although if I did not know from the title of the poem that it was an oak tree I might have assumed it were better fitting to the type of tree rather than the colour of its leaves.

 

I might also add that I have seen lime and oak trees fairly close together before, still I have not yet seen the two close enough for one to be beneath the leaves of both at the same time. I would not discount it entirely if the trees were large enough for their leaves to overlap.

 

Nuances aside, I loved the imagery in this, it was a pleasure to read :)

[Deleted54170User]

The way it is written makes it the kind that would be read more for it holds life and scenery. Words that a picture is seen from makes it stand in the old cliche', "A picture is worth a thousand words." There in this poem are several pictures.

[Keanumoreira]

I had read it more as that the leaves were a lime shaded green, although if I did not know from the title of the poem that it was an oak tree I might have assumed it were better fitting to the type of tree rather than the colour of its leaves.

 

I might also add that I have seen lime and oak trees fairly close together before, still I have not yet seen the two close enough for one to be beneath the leaves of both at the same time. I would not discount it entirely if the trees were large enough for their leaves to overlap.

 

Nuances aside, I loved the imagery in this, it was a pleasure to read :)

 

Thank you. :happy:

[Maharg67]

Excellent. Simple but effective though I doubt it was simple to write. Enjoyed it very much. Look forward to reading more of your works.

[Keanumoreira]

Much appreciated M. :)

[Illiad86]

Very beautiful, Keanu :)