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The Snow Arena


Dark0ne

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Having determined that the peanuts were not really interested in conversing about string theory, Mojlnir manages to get his pants back on and remove himself from the floor.

 

A wonderful aroma fills the air and Mojlnir realizes that it is pipeweed, of the kind most rare and wonderful. Looking around Mojlnir sees Ancalagon, surrounded by a thick cloud of whitish smoke and decides to start with him. Pulling out his sno-hooka, Mojlnir walks over to Ancalagon.

 

"Hey mate, spare some leaf? I got cavewichs and a 1/5th of sno-whiskey to share."

 

Mojlnir seats himself heavily next to Ancalagon and to unpack his food and drink.

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Shin falls from the sky and ends up being mangled and having his leg bent beackwards oer his head.... strange, that should have hurt. "oh yeah, i'm dead"

 

*Shin flies to OhGr NOD base and grants it with a few ice beam obelisks, and ice tanks(as apposed to flame tanks).

 

*Shin then flies back into purgatory where he finds ancalagon hogging all the weed, grog and cavewich. "meh, they forgot about the women..........."

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The Book of Trials, Chapter II

Not all who defy Peregrine are our enemies. Those who do so must be given enlightenment, and a chance to join the one true path. Go, as emissaries of Peregrine, and shatter this ignorance. But Peregrine offers one chance, and only one chance. Destroy those who refuse it.

 

Armiena's Repair Yard: Exact Time Unknown

 

Annoyingly, the captured ship provided little useful information. Between battle damage and self destruct charges, the crew had left few systems intact. The hyperdrive system's size prevented full destruction, and the yard's report was optimistic that they could unlock its secrets soon. But the weapons and defenses were little more than ash and melted ruins. And the ship itself would be of little use, while structurally mostly intact, it would need a complete refit to be worth anything in combat.

 

Armiena's Flagship: Later That Day

 

"This is freighter XC-121 requesting approach clearance."

As the message played on the main screen, the red dot of a hostile contact appeared on the system map. But as the unknown speaker continued, more detailed scans quickly revealed that it was an unarmed, and harmless, transport ship.

"We come as emissaries of Peregrine, bringing an offer of alliance. We offer forgiveness for all past events, and an invitation to escape destruction and join him in the Second Age. Refuse, and we will not ask again, and you will surely die. Accept, and you will know true power and glory."

On the map, the freighter continued its course for the flagship, apparently too impatient to wait for permission.

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the ship lands in the center of the NOD base, expanding, and growing more powerful, for no real reason, ohGr wakes up, looks out one of the windows and asks the pilot through the radio

hey pilot, its ohGr, something werid has happened here, the Obleisks have gone from black to white, and the flame tanks...well....they now shoot liquid nitrogen...and that stuff hurts

 

the pilot replies

well, it is a bit odd, dont worry about it, ill do a few checks on it, see if these...improvements...are better, or worse, although, it looks like a spirit has been here

 

ohGr thinks for a while then replies

i do remember hearing about a person called Shin, he recently died and was floating around, his spirit that is...could be related with what happened, over and out

 

the back door opens and everyone walks out, ohGr notices another thing...the soldiers are dressed as germans were in world war 2, with the rounded helmets and all, he ignores it all and heads to the communications center, in there he sees sarah doing her usual boring stuff

 

ohGr says

have you noticed?

 

sarah turns around and replies

the base?, yeah, the obleisks now shoot some white ray, we tested it on the old ship, the new beams seem to be much more destructive than the originals, and the flame tanks, i guess we can call them Ice Tanks from now, they shoot liquid nitrogen, although, its a little different, it acts like fire, only more powerful

 

ohGr replies

i guess thats all good, but whats going on with the german outfits here!

 

sarah replies

oh, the soldiers were getting bored, so they decided to recreate the invasion of normands from WW2, they used rubber shotgun bullets, i dont know what happened to the allied uniforms though...probably got thrown out

 

ohGr grabs some coffee and sits down, he begins to think about the future of the base, whats going to happen, and where the last bloody donut went

 

ohGr says

about that whole jayne mansfield thing, im sorry about that, i was a little drunk

 

sarah replies

you said breats instead of breasts anyway, so i knew you were

 

ohGr says

speaking of beer, where did the fridge go?

 

sarah replies

its over there, and dont try to mix it with the coffee again, you ended up air guitaring to the bongos

 

ohGr replies

no i wasnt

ohGr grabs some beer, finishes off the coffee, and starts drinking, while looking at the base he notices a snow fight

excuse me for a second

ohGr runs out of the building and joins in the fight.

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Malchik is amazed that Pack Rat's statue of him is in the perfect likeness of Jayne Mansfield. He then realises somehow oHgr's thought waves have influenced the sculptor. Something to do with the weird white smoke floating down from Ancalagon and Moljnir (ShinJiOh appears to have missed out again!)

 

One of the peculiar properties of intergalactic snow is that it can be everywhere at the same time.

 

Malchik suggests that the sculptor might get closer to the real him if he removes the big breats and long hair as a start. "Think Ryan Philippe in his mid twenties." (A slight distortion perhaps but nothing compared to the previous perversion.)

 

However Pack Rat's intentions had to be rewarded.

 

"I hear on the grape vine* that Peregrine is trying to ally with Armenia. Beware a double cross!"

 

*the grape vine is a little known computer messaging system used only by confirmed alcoholics and bearded women who brew their own beer.

 

"You might want to approach oHgr. He can produce coffee and donuts to cheer us up!"

 

He sends spy fleas to infest the ships and dwellings of all the participants.

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Jun'Ko enters Pack Rat's office. Her face carries an unhappy look

Pack Rat notices it...

"what's the matter?"

"We fear Armiena might be doublecrossing with Peregrine... Our spys at her fleet reported that a freighter came to propose an alliance with Peregrine. Instead of immedialtly reacting it remained silent..."

"An alliance with armiena? Peregrine? Peregrine has no allies, he betrays them when the time is right, when he decides they have become useless. We know it, we've seen it. Remember how he betrayed us during the first war? We fought to make an open way for him and then he betrayed us... Peregrine has no honor and cannot be trusted... He has become the dark lord of this universe and will destroy everyone that is hostile or useless. The only thing Armiena would succeed with this alliance is death or capture and spend the rest of her life into the dark holes of peregrines fortress, where ever that may be. The time has become for Armiena to decide between good and evil... Now she has to prove her quality's and her ideals..."

"And what if she betrays us?"

"Prepare the Mercury-fleets, and prepare the batterys and make sure the planetary defences are on full power... we will show what the consequences of betraying the Red Nation and it's ideals of freedom and equality are... She will be destroyed by our enormous numbers of titans and juggernauts and not even peregrine will be able to prevent this."

 

Jun'Ko turns around and is about to leave the office to send the orders trough.

"Jun'Ko... Any news from Lord Malchik?"

"Yes, My Lord, He is very pleased with the statue but he finds that it doesnt quiete looks like him..."

"Get a new sculptor and get it done right this time... Anything else?

"Yes... Lord Malchik suggested we should not get to friendly with Armiena since Peregrines aproach, he also suggested that there is a man , ohGr, who might be a potential and usefull ally."

Pack Rat sits back and replies to Jun'Ko:

"Send word to Lord Malchik I am very gratefull and I'm honored to find such council"

Jun'Ko smiles, she admires the man that would give his life for his friends and his people. That's why they all remained with him during the rebellion. Several detachments remained loyal but they never had word of the rebellion at the capital.

 

She leaves the office in the hope that Armiena would make the right decision...

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ohGr is sitting back, eating a donut and drinking coffee, he end up burping, and he doesnt seem to care everyone heard, sarah says

you just like that Homer Simpson character in that cartoon, except you like coffee more than beer

 

since ohGr had drank several caffe late's, he was a little hypo, and talked too fast, so not many people could understand him in his hypo mood

just because ive been drinking lots of coffee doesnt mean im hypo because i am, and when i get through this cup, im going to have another one because its all free and i have a contract somewhere in that ice tank now if youll excuse me

 

ohGr stands up and rushes out of the room in his hypo state, then walks back in with a contract

see!

 

sarah replies

calm down, alright, because off your thoughts weird things have been going on, like that jayne mansfield statue we saw on the radar, thinking it was a killer rabbit, then it got eaten up according to you

 

ohGr replies

well something did

 

sarah replies

nevermind, we've had reports of someone by the name of Pack Rat, apparently he might be stopping by, for an alliance, im a bit suspicious about this so i advise you to carry a gun

 

ohGr replies

good idea, ill go to the armory and ill be back in 5 minutes

 

after 5 minutes ohGr walks in the office dressed up as darth vader and a ring with a S on it, probably the swartzch ring, he also has a portable nuke with him

 

sarah says

listen dark helmet

 

ohGr interrupts

darth vader

 

sarah continues

whatever, anyway, i never said bring in a nuke and items from a movie, i said a gun, not the ability to endanger our lives

 

ohGr walks back out and back in, in 10 minutes later, he comes in, as his normal self, except he has 4 guns on him, he tries to pull off a Clint Eastwood face and says

this is the .44 magnum, the worlds most powerful handgun ever made, this could blow your head clean off, now you have to ask yourself, do i feel lucky...well do ya...punk

 

sarah replies

its a wonder you havent been assassinated yet

 

ohGr replies

your right, ill need a coat and more guns

 

5 minutes later he walks back in, dressed as Neo from the Matrix

ohGr calls out

i am the one, motherf*ckers!

 

sarah replies

loose the trenchcoat

 

ohGr takes off the coat, exposing the 16 guns around his body

 

sarah laughs and says

you should see yourself, youll be walking around like the Gingerbread Man

 

ohGr puts on a fake beard and crown and says

so shes married to the muffin man

 

sarah replies

just loose 8 of those guns, and sit down

 

ohGr drops 8 of his guns and sits down

 

ohGr says

as you were saying?

 

sarah replies

just before i go on any further i think its pretty obvious as to why we have never been in a relationship

 

ohGr replies

your way off the subject

 

sarah replies

......a man by the name of pack rat might be stopping by, possible to form an alliance, or he just wants to chat, i dont know, it might be because we have a planetload of donuts and coffee

 

ohGr replies

ok, just tell me when hes going to come by, and if i say breats again, pretend i said British

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*Shins has been observing everybody once again from his spoons and a bowl of cereal.

 

*Shin sees almElexia punishing himself with a snow ball and then walking of with a...... a....... SANDWICH!? shins grabs his trenchcoat full of spoons and flies out of purgatory.

 

*upon contact with almElexia shin summons a mass of snow and piles it upon almElexia.

 

"ah hah!, try the new cavewich.... ICE your hunger."

 

*Shins stays above almElexia waiing for his move "take your best shot... i am already dead.

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A technician passes Armiena's office. The room is soundproof, but he can see that she's giving hell to the poor sap who brought her the news.

 

"Peregrine offers us alliance!!!!!? And then he insults me, by 'Offering forgiveness for all past transgressions'!"

The poor sap takes a cautionary step back.

For a few minutes, Armiena continues her rant. Finally, she overheats and stops shrieking, and only glares and breathes hard.

 

"Tell him.... I'll consider it. We will discuss terms at these coordinates." Armiena rattles off the coordinates for a very remote sector of space, inside the Ring Nebula.

 

 

She immediately leaves her office, and sets for the nearest hangar. She summons her top aide and gives him some orders.

"I give you complete control over Alpha Centauri. I have not left Alpha Centauri. Don't tell anyone that I have left, especially Pack Rat. If he does call, tell him that I'm in the labs. Then order all of the planet to evacuate. Hide in the tail of the Hailey Comet; You won't be detected there."

 

Armiena take a shuttle up to Scylla, which has just been rebuilt and rearmed. It's barely recognizable anymore, with all of her new refitting.

 

Armiena sets a course for the Ring Nebula.

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