A question for our British visitors...

[kingdark]

I read and write a lot of fanfiction, and one thing that is a recurring theme is the fact that Harry keeps referring to mr and mrs weasley as mister and missus weasley. I have a close friend and she told me I could call her by her first name relatively quickly.

So is there a rule or something that keeps the British from referring to an adult by their first name?

 

I mean, if it's a stranger, then sure, be polite and say mister... whatever the name is. And to my example, the first time Harry visits the wealseys, then sure, it could be uncomfortable and it's better to stay on the polite side. But later, say by fourth or fifth year... Couldn't he refer to Molly and Arthur as Molly and Arthur? That he keeps referring to the staff as professor without specific given permission I could understand. But even so, during the summer they have no authority over them so as long as Harry calls Minerva by professor and her last name (I don't know how to spell it out of the top of my head and I don't want to make a guess) during the school year... Then he could he possibly call her by her first name during summer?

 

I'm from Belgium, so it's not like our culture could be completely different right? And like I said, my best friend's mum told me to call her by her first name the first time we visited a park. We've been close friends for well over fifteen years so I don't recall the details, just a general timeline.

 

Curious for the answer,

Kingdark

Thanks!

[Deleted82156User]

In Britain it is considered impolite for a child to call an adult by their first name and very disrespectful. At least it was when I was growing up here. The same goes for teachers, you never call your teacher by their first name, no matter if in or out of school.

 

I got quite the shock when I moved to Canada and kids called adults by their first name. Still sounds 'wrong' to me, but then I was brought up with very strict rules and manners in a British snobby 'upper class' family.

[DoctorKaizeld]

 

In Britain it is considered impolite for a child to call an adult by their first name and very disrespectful. At least it was when I was growing up here. The same goes for teachers, you never call your teacher by their first name, no matter if in or out of school.

 

I got quite the shock when I moved to Canada and kids called adults by their first name. Still sounds 'wrong' to me, but then I was brought up with very strict rules and manners in a British snobby 'upper class' family.

i was raised here in America this way to a degree. unless i don't know their first name or they want me to refer to them by their first name i always went with "Mrs. Lastname" or "Mr. Lastname". this changed as i got older as i refer to most everybody by their first these days. to be honest it was quite jarring for me when i met people who didn't do this.

[kingdark]

But does this remains true even after you know them for a long time? Say, the parent of your best friend who happens to live next door? Someone you've known you're whole live? I called my neighbours by their first names for as long as I can remember. in fact, I've got a nephew, my brother's oldest, and he calls my neighbour by his first name and he just became three a few weeks ago.

 

But back to the example I first used, it would remain impolite for Harry to call mister weasley Arthur no matter what? Unless specific permission is given? And is this just a way you are raised, as in old fashioned or is this something even kids of today grew up with?

[DoctorKaizeld]

well for me it sorta depends on relationship. if i met them and they are my friends and not friends through my other friends then i refer to them by their first name. where as i mostly know them through my friends like how Harry Knows the Weasley parents then i would never use their first names unless they said it was okay.

[kingdark]

Oh. Well, thanks for clearing that up I suppose. It's something that was bothering me for a long time already, but I never bothered to actually do something about it. Because I know that fanfiction can't be trusted plot wise for the most part. So I just figured it was something that authors just copied. I mean, in my own stories, I just tried to avoid the situation altogether when at all possible. A relating question, for those that have read the book, is it normal for Molly to boss Harry & Hermione around? I mean, I sure wouldn't take it if I were told to clean in my vacation. Certainly not by the parent of a friend.

 

Thanks!

[Deleted82156User]

But does this remains true even after you know them for a long time? Say, the parent of your best friend who happens to live next door? Someone you've known you're whole live? I called my neighbours by their first names for as long as I can remember. in fact, I've got a nephew, my brother's oldest, and he calls my neighbour by his first name and he just became three a few weeks ago.

 

 

Yes it remains true up until you are an adult. Even if you knew your next door neighbour your whole life, while you are a child you address them formally.

 

But back to the example I first used, it would remain impolite for Harry to call mister weasley Arthur no matter what? Unless specific permission is given? And is this just a way you are raised, as in old fashioned or is this something even kids of today grew up with?

 

 

It would be incredibly rude for Harry to call Mr Weasely 'Arthur' until he is an adult and therefore on equal terms. When it comes to teachers there is a slight difference though, kids who know their teacher often call male teachers just 'sir' and female teachers just 'miss'. Like this.

[kingdark]

Okay, thank you for the clarification guys! I'm glad that I have an answer now once and for all :p

[RattleAndGrind]

I can still here my very proper British Grandfather. "All persons are to be address titularly and by their family name. One does not take familiar liberties with another person without their permission. A persons given name is never to be used under any circumstances, unless that person has given you leave to do so. Unsolicited familiarity is in the poorest of taste and is an indicator of a low upbringing and education." I suppose that is why my Grandfather thought my American upbringing was "unsatisfactory in every imaginable way" and that I was "destined to serve your {my} life as a social pariah, as you lack the necessary social graces with which to navigate the world".

 

Well grandfather if you are listening, roll over once more and keep that box rocking. I may lack social graces, but I compensate with excessive firepower. :laugh:

[TheMastersSon]

""destined to serve your {my} life as a social pariah, as you lack the necessary social graces with which to navigate the world".

 

These days it's called bipolar disorder.