Malchik

They were called to a halt by PC 'Bobby' Socks. "Running up that ladder will put you all in a tight spot. As far as I can see there are no snakes to slide down. If you pass go, you will be sent to jail. So go to jail immediately and do not pass go. Unless you are a sock belonging to Colonel Mustard, in which case you should be in the Library about to be used to strangle Miss Scarlett or for some other trivial pursuit. Get back down this instant!!!" Having bellowed the command PC Bobby Socks finds he is a little horse. He gallops madly off in all directions coming face to face with....

You have been defragged - you can turn into anything you like. So, you're an ice-dragon! I hope also that you are a nice dragon!

Whom they saw almost as the holey grail. The sock in question was less than amused, not wanting to be stitched up by the less than well-co-ordinated mob. He considered himself to be pretty small potatoes as far as socks were concerned and pointed them instead towards Ms Fifteen Denier. To reach her they would have to climb a ladder. What the holey sock had not bargained for was...

The drunken Malchik clone offers the buried hatchet the chance to turn into anything it wants to be (except rich) with a spell of defragging. The clone then slowly fades into the world of frozen pizzas. Accidentally knocking one over they collapse one after the other following the Domino Pizza effect. With that he vanishes totally before the arbiters of lousy jokes catch up with him.

The supporters of the socks were up in arms - I mean legs - about it. If anyone declared war on footwear, they would rush to their defence. They had ample resources, as many in the society were well heeled. They decided to meet in the local tavern to get legless; (presumably in case they lost the sock war). Stocking up on resources for the battle they all got very tight (or should that be tights?). There were those whose job it was to boost morale. They did this by ensuring the suspense was mounting. They were given the nickname 'suspenders' (in the UK English meaning of the world). They also had to make sure they all sobered up in time for the battle by giving them a good hose down. Th party was at its height when...

You know this has been tried before. I'm perfectly happy to take part in it but not many others will join in. Still for what it's worth:- They quickly concluded that the solution to everyone's problems had somehow to be connected to socks. Most people wore socks of one kind or another. Perhaps controlling the supply would affect the mentality of the belligerent peoples. Some wore the same socks for so long that they might be an excellent defence against an opponent. However their real idea was the number of free socks that had to be around somewhere. Free socks were those that had somehow broken away from of their enforced partnerships and disappeared, often during the family wash. It would be a question of identifying where these socks had gone and establishing whose side they were on. They decided to mount a joint expedition. They brought together....

Malchik clone is perfectly happy to be buried as long as there is plenty of booze. And Igor will have nowhere to hide. "Got a cavewich?" he asks of the world at random.

Malchik clone *£%$$$63452 wanders into the castle and psychovomits over Igor.

Even without cheats you can use guild guides etc., proplyon indices, mark and recall, divine and almsivi intervention, scrolls of icarian flight with slowfall, the boots of blinding speed, fortify speed on armour, rings and clothes plus levitate. It does take more time to get to these situations but fast travel was there even on xbox with a bit of imagination. As a secondary point, does the fast travel option work for you alone or for any companions/followers as well. For existing Morrowind some options did permit you to take those you were escorting - boats, silt striders and IIRC guild guides. The mark/recall, interventions and propylon indices did not. Some unified approach would be useful. Those escort quests are among the most boring in the game IMO because there are so many!

If you wanted to cheat with the PC version of Morrowind, fast travel using the coc command was possible from the start. I haven't played MW for a while although I do test out a lot of Mods. When I first started I used the MW transport system and walked a lot. Now I do what I can to get from place to place as quickly as possible. BUT if I had started out like that I would have missed soo much. So, I like the idea of fast travel but I certainly won't let it stop me uncovering the whole map bit by bit! BTW Dark0ne, if you can persuade yourself that using fast transport iss a cheat, maybe you won't use it as much as you think!

OOC> Watch it! Chaosmaker, there are no rules. If someone cuts you in half you just join back together again. Or tell him he was hallucinating or anything. If you have a problem with the ragnarok's post why didn't YOU PM him? It is the season of goodwill!

Unfortunately everyone is completely fooled by illusions and Malchik clones. Sogenda's amulet turns into a bowl of tiramisu. Adras gets an unexpected 'Get Well Soon' card.

Rynos, Dark0ne pointed out this thread is not about the invasion of Iraq. Please don't prolong the earlier poster's misunderstanding. There is a thread on Iraq elsewhere. I do sometimes wonder if the US does not know how to laugh at itself if the joke originates from another country. The Brits can. I think it's a good thing. But the thread is humorous and the Iraq war ain't funny on anyone's terms!

A lone Malchik clone left over from the wars of yesteryear runs across the scene and disappears into a puff of ether. Malchik, back in the warmth of Hell, laughs at the cold blighters running around outside. He goes back to sleep for another millennium.

The expression about killing lawyers is from Henry 6 but I can't recall which part. In the play the reasons why the lawyers were to be 'killed off' was that they were the progressives trying to get things changed for the better. Times change, huh? And the US has the most powerful military. It needs it since the US has no interest in making friends. Unfortunately it won't be able to keep it that way without destroying the US economy. Short-termism never works but then hey Bush has less than four years already!

Hmm! Now history as I was taught it said that the Brits took one look at what the 13 colonies were morphing into in the 1770's and decided to forget the whole ghastly mistake. They concentrated instead on the civilised part (i.e. Canada). It was deliberate government policy at that time to brainwash those in the thirteen colonies to forget there was anywhere else in the world. This was done specifically to keep them from carrying their unfortunate habits elsewhere. And of course we encouraged them to look further west (father away from us) so they might fight the French and the Spanish without the UK being involved. (After all we were supposed to be sort of friendly with most of Europe at that time.) Whether we expected them to go so far west they were able to root out and kill off the legitimate royal household of Hawaii I am not so sure. And this is to be changed? Are you sure it's worth trying to integrate them into the real world now? And do we need the hassle? Still if that's what Nanny Blair wants!

Right here are two more for you. Others' comments on any mod discussed are welcome. The Hunt for the Red Skulls A maze with a few side quests. The side quests are not particularly interesting or challenging but the mazes themselves, there are two, are quite fun. It is a teleport maze so you need to map what leads to where, especially if you want to visit the whole place. Not recommended to the impatient! I found no conflicts. The Black Mill This is a very big and imaginative mod that I had great fun playing. However there were some problems. I have been in touch with the designers who have sent me an updated version to test. Anyone else feels like testing it let me know. The designers site has a detailed walkthrough but I did not use it and got to the end. There are a couple of side quests that I missed and would not have found without the hints but they are not important to the game. I will report further when I have tried out the new version.

Well, we did warn you! (Full post a few above this)

Ash Yams are cultivated in the Ascadian Isles region, try looking around the Dren Plantation.

Only to those I mentioned but basically your statement is correct. If you are on the east you will probably end up at Ald-Ruhn/Molag Mar (Almsivi) or Fort Buckmoth/Wolverine Hall (Divine). Molag Mar is not the most useful place to find yourself but the other places are close to mages guilds. If you use Almsivi anywhere in Solstheim it will take you to Gnisis.

If you do Edwinna's quests (Ald-Ruhn mages guild) you get amulets of divine and almsivi intervention. You may already have them. They are useful ways of getting around MW quickly. Divine will take you to the nearest of - Ebonheart, Pelagiad, Gnisis, Fort Moonmoth (Balmora), Fort Buckmoth (Ald Ruhn), Wolverine Hall (Sadrith Mora), Palace Courtyard (Mournhold) and Fort Frostmoth on Solstheim. Almsivi will take you to Gnisis, Balmora, Ald Ruhn, Vivec Temple, Molag Mar and Mournhold Temple. For some reason the temples in Suran, Ghostgate and Vos do not work. They save an awful lot of walking about!

You will be attacked by the guy who you first spoke to about the Talos Cult - Oritius Maro. He should be the only other one who attacks you. It is possible to use the approach you suggest but IIRC Darius sends you back to kill him anyway.

Index: Mod Title, Review date Ald Indoril 4/3/05 Annastia 28/2/05 BC Palla Quest 4/3/05 Beyond Ysgramor 4/11/04 Black Mill 6/12/04 Children of the Night 1 5/11/04 Clockwork Tower 10/12/04 Cult of the Clouds 4/11/04 Dulysa Island 12/4/05 Ghostpath 20/1/05 Haldenshore 5/11 Havish 5/11 Hunt for the Red Skulls 6/12/04 Illuminated Order 4/11/04 Investigators 4/11/04 Jeremy's Knights of Tamriel 4/11/04 Korobal 4/11/04 Latest Greatest Housing Mod - gold 1/3/05 Predator Mod 15/3/05 Sea of Destiny 4/11/04 Serene Tower 4/11/04 Seyda Neen Docks and Haldenshore 7/3/05 Suran Underworld 4/11/04 The Amulet of Scrye 28/2/05 The Inn of the Whispering Wood 7/3/05 The Lost Heir 16/5/05 The Sword of Perithia - total conversion 22/2/05 The White Wolf of Lokken 4/3/05 Valshea's Armor 6/12/04 Witch Girl Adventure (Tribunal version) 4/11/04 Yagrum Bagarn Improved 7/3/05 There are many mods out there and yet the read-mes often do not provide all the info needed to decide whether the mod is for you. This thread is for people to give info based on playing experience. Only Mods that add quests and no simple dungeon crawls, please. I'll kick off with 10 (in alpha order). Feel free to diagree/add further info but particularly to add info on the hundreds mods I have not mentioned. In particular anyone who is aware of conflicts I have not shown should post them. My own favourites are marked with an asterisk. 1. Beyond Ysgramor* An extensive and interesting mod with a new faction involving many (linear) quests but also eight miscellaneous quests (for one you must have reasonable reputation points). It adds three new land masses. Your starting point is an island off Seyda Neen. This conflicts with other mods that put land masses in that area so turn them off before activating this one. One niggle, there is more to explore than is used in the quests themselves but this is not clear from the read-me. I kept wandering about thinking I must have missed something. 2. Cult of Clouds Lets take control of the weather! This is a linear mod allowing you to rise to the highest level in a new faction (but not to lead it). Some of the initial quests are rather basic - not in itself a problem but it may irritate very experienced players. No new land masses and no reported conflicts. 3. Illuminated Order How to dabble in necromancy! A mod that is extensive and quite amusing. I have to say that I did not quite finish it, for reasons I'll explain, so someone else may have more to add. It conflicts with certain Balmora expansions. I stopped playing when I found I needed to complete the seven in-game Daedric quests to advance. I had played them too many times to want to do so again. I could have cheated but... Anyway those intending to play it should know this. 4. Investigators Piecing together a staff! Another relatively early mod of the linear variety. It involves no new land masses and therefore lacks the novelty of some mods but it does throw in a couple of 'puzzles' some will like. There are no reported conflicts. 5. Jeremy's Knights of Tamriel* Some very spectacular armour! This is an on-going project that will involve IIRC 9 mods. So far 6 are available. Each suit of armour has a small quest, mainly hack and slash, attached. The more recent mods are longer and more complex than the first one or two but basically you are only doing them to get the suits of armour (all heavy). The only conflicts I have found occur with the Maran Knights. If you have Sea of Destiny running you'll find the KOT ship in the middle of the Daggersoul tavern rather than the sea. Both mods remain playable however. Also the 'Travel Essentials' mod cave entrance is behind a rock on which the Maran temple is built. Console command 'tcl' will get round that. 6. Korobal* Become ruler of an Island and a Merchanting Guild! A very extensive mod in which you get a castle of your own and a whole four-storey canton. There are new land masses, although none conflicted with the other mods I had running. Interesting concepts include an underwater Telvanni tower and an underground guild of smugglers. The middle of the quest - when encouraging merchants to set up in the canton - gets a little repetitive IMO and I found myself adding items via the console. That apart it is enjoyable. The mod has a very large number of NPCs all over MW. Once started, do not change the active files as this causes duplicate NPC spawning and unexplained NPC disappearances. One quest did not work properly for me and required a little ingenuity but the modder was looking at it when I last contacted him on it and it probably works fine now. 7. Sea of Destiny Become unbeatable in a few easy stages. Large landmass with a number of conflicts. A great deal of trouble has been spent in the exterior design of the mod, making it interesting to look at with an eerie fog-filled marsh hamlet and a small Japanese style kingdom among other things. Unfortunately the same care has not always been taken over the interiors (often lifted unchanged from MW) or left apparently unfinished. Almost all the MANY NPCs have only generic MW dialogue. The quests are all very basic 'kill' quest. Many strange buildings, situations and items are around apparently unlinked to anything. There are a lot of uber items and the amulet you receive at the end is the same as toggling God mode. Part 2 is said to be in course of preparation. If that corrects any of the above problems it might be worth a second look. Currently the main interest is in the external layout. Plus you can get a wood elf archer companion with companion-share, Woody Hood, from Daggersoul tavern. 8. Serene Tower Get your own Telvanni Tower at level one (or maybe two). Basically this is a housing mod with a five-part quest to reach it. It has a conflict with Suran Underground though both are playable. You end with a full sized Telvanni tower overlooking Mistress Therana and an endless supply of mannequins. There are a few cheats - you can teleport (via the tower) to all mages guilds AND a shop in Dagon Fel and back. You can teleport to Tel Branora from anywhere. You get your own space in every mages guild and there are a number of skill books and scrolls, nothing uber, in these rooms. You also get a new merchant in Dagon Fel who has 50000 and will buy anything. Those who hate cheating, stay away. 9. Suran Underworld*. Rule the thieves! The mod is extensive and mainly linear, though there is a five-part spin-off quest. It is for higher level players level 20/30. There are no new land masses but there is a conflict with Serene Tower. It does not affect the game play of either. In this mod you are on the side of the baddies but I doubt if it will upset too many moralists. 10. Witch Girl Adventure This is a relatively easy linear quest that makes you cover most of MW. It is quite fun to play. The main advantage is that you end up with two companions a female Breton mage, Morgana, and a Nordic Fighter, Lief Ericsson, who (with the latest version) will accompany you to Mournhold and Solstheim. They have companion share which helps when looting caves and tombs. No new landmasses, so no reported conflicts.

The first DB attack automatically generates the opening of a quest 'Dark Brotherhood attacks' in your journal. By following what I said up to talking to the guy in Ebonheart will stop the attacks in Vvardenfell (although IMO selling the armour is a way of making money and as time progresses the weapons they attack you with get more valuable). It does not close the quest. Simply talking to a guard in Mournhold will produce the journal entry required to close the quest as he tells you where you can find the Dark Brotherhood Headquarters. The next part of that quest 'Hunt the Dark Brotherhood' only opens up when you find their lair. You don't have to DO the quest until you are ready. So you can - 1. Let the attacks continue until you are too bored with them. 2. Stop the attacks and leave the Dark Brotherhood Attacks quest open until you are ready to go to Mournhold. 3. Travel to Mournhold to get the quest closed only, leaving the next part for when you are ready. 4. Travel to Mournhold to deal with the DB for good! (You will need to be at a reasonable level to do this). Does this make better sense?

Speak to a guard who will tell you to see a guy in Ebonheart. Report to him and the attacks will stop. He sends you to another person who can teleport you to Mournhold. If you wish to close the quest entry, go to Mournhold and speak to a guard there. This will give you a journal update. Teleport back and leave Mournhold until you are ready.