Malchik

Malchik falls to earth thinking of David Bowie. Why? And what has sent him here when he was so toasty warm in Hell. This place is a frozen nightmare with half the population dead and the other hald practising cryogenics! He sends an enchanted email to Armenia. "Have a look in a mirror, for goodness sake - nobody wears leg warmers to battle these days!" He sends as manifestation to Pack Rat. "What you really need against Peregrine the Perennial are weapons of mass melting!" Out of the kindness of his stupidity he gives Pack Rat the spell of 'totally invincible to anything that has been or ever will be discovered' and floats down to see how long Slaiv will be buried under the cavewhich. He calls up to the spirit in the sky. "Hi Shin, how's it hanging?" Sadly, as usual, Malchik has no idea what he is talking about.

Double post deleted!

Malchik realises that owing to commitments (that is him being committed) he will have to be elsewhere for a few days. He leaves several manifestations 'Malchik' around as seasonal decorations. Suddenly the real Malchik cannot be discovered. OOC> Away for three/four days. But I'll be back.

What ohGr does not know is that the Necrowizard is a Malchik clone designed to self destruct at a critical moment. Hehehehe! Watch this space!

Malchik needs no excuse to get loaded! Stopping his pointless and back-wrenching dance he zooms into visit Ancalagon. (He wears a disguise that fools everyone, including himself, into believing that he is dead.) "Hi Shin. Hows it hanging?" On the floor he notices Mojlnir conversing with two tiny creatures that he cannot at first make out but seem to go by the names of Charlie Brown and Lucy. Ancalagon is not immediately visible but there is plenty of - erm - there is planty of the 'on the rocks' bit. Where's the... Malchik sees a bowl full of colourless liquid. It reminds him of his scrying glass of Galadriel mark two (second hand) but maybe this is not water. Certainly there is a faint steam arising from it. Oh well, who cares. He dips a beaker into it and then knocks it back in one. Uh? Er???? ???????? To be continued.

Malchik is now trying to Salsa. The attempt leaves much to be desired, in particular a partner. Hell is not the best place to find one as most of the inhabitants are too hot-tempered and accidentally standing on their feet will result in injuries of the kind 'unpleasant'. Malchik dislikes injuries, especially those to himself. Pack Rat appears to be gnawing away at the last vestiges of the vanished Peregrine. Armenia spends all her time rebuilding her fleet when she is in dire need of a new haircut and an update to her wardrobe. Still, she doesn't look the sort to salsa. Everyone else is fixated on food and drink! Oh my! What a world we play in. Feeling a little lonely, Malchik continues his disconsolate, hellish dance.

Sadly for him Peregrine has not escaped the attack of Malchik's fleas. In a fury of scratching he orders every vessel, ship, pod and resurrect machine in his fleet and all friendly fleets to self destruct. This they do - the big bang theory. Peregrine now exists as millions of tiny particles scattered through the multiverse. It might take him a little time to get himself back together but one can be sure he will. OOC> Night night and good trip!

Malchik sees what is taking place in the heads of all the other players in the snow arena. His fleas have done such a good job that none of them realise it is all taking place in their imaginations. "And you all think you can be masters of the multiverse." This is a very amusing notion. Malchik, the true master of everything, does not worry about their little ambitions. He zooms back down to hell since the entertainment is a lot hotter there. Then he sends out his fleas. "Make all their daydreams become nightmares! Don't spare any of them!" Life is soooo good!

Malchik finds the James Bond Theme strangely uncompelling as dance music and persuades the orchestra to play something hotter. Whether this is a good move in an ice palace remains to be seen.

Malchik wipes tears from his eyes. It really was the end! He passes round a box of tissues and a packet of Glacier mints to Pack Rat and ShinJiOh and teleports one to Ancalagon. "Well, let's liven this party up. Anyone know a musician?"

Malchik throws what is left of the cavewhich at the DiCaprio cone - I mean clone - and kills it with a pest spray (the clone that is not the cavewhich). Pack Rat receives an enchanted email. "Come down and party, mate. ROTK is on in Shin's castle and it's supposed to Arachnoidally good!"

There is an element of truth in that. But the other character thread is still current so the question of necromancy would not arise in this case.

Haven't I seen this thread elsewhere recently? Use of the search button would help you not posting what has already been discussed but... Kadude I deleted your post. It was off topic and again asks a question that has nothing to do with the thread. Will you READ THE RULES! (And no I can't see your avatar, talk to the techies) Raizok, as a newby I will be kinder. Please do not post one liners that equate to one/two word replies like 'nice', 'good idea' etc. Again check the pinned rules. As there are a lot of newbies I'll leave this open but maybe those who know we've had this before might refrain from posting the same old details yet again! (If another Moderator wishes to lock it, be my guest.)

Malchik wonders why people continue to fight when neither side has a snowball's chance of hell in winning. He sips a cool mint julep and nibbles on the remains of Mojlnir's cavewhich. Peace and good will he burbles gently. He sends out the fleas of illusion to bite everone so they believe they are totally and indisputably and permanently dead (whether they are or not.) He waits patiently for the evening showing of ROTK in Shin's protected castle.

There is an annoyed curse from Malchik. A DiCaprio clone has got into the castle - must have got in with him and has bumped his seat at ROTK. Now he will have to watch it tomorrow night instead. Aagh! Malchik breaks down in tears and chews the carpet in frenzy, swallowing several fleas in the process. He chokes on the bits of fluff and passes out until the next day.

Malchik sends an enchanted email to Peregrine. "Why dontcha c'mon down and watch ROTK with us. We can get back to the snowball fight afterwards. We've got booze and girls and popcorn and girls and booze and girls and some guys for the girls or the guys that like guys. You name it, whatever your poison we've got it all on tap!"

Bloodied and generally abused by DiCaprio clones Malchik is close to Death (That is Death, Indiana). He swallows his elixir of replay time and joins the retired ShinJiOh in the castle that has not yet been destroyed. Erecting a shield of total impenetrability +100% resist everything everything ever known and still to be discovered over the whole castle, he sits down to watch ROTK. He yells through to Shin. "Let the kids play. We can get down to some serious partying!"

Malchik clone accidentally blunders into controls of Peregrine's ship blasting the whole thing and himself into smithereens. (That is Smithereens, Missouri) Malchik has fallen asleep ina dangerously exposed position. As long as the DiCaprio clones don't attack he might be safe. OOC> G'Night!

Malchik is confused. "Silvuru I never gave you a PISTacchio ice-cream." As a friendly gesture ties the young Norwegian's shoe laces together and laughs when he falls over. He then gives him a free ticket to New Zealand to watch ROTK. "It's all a question of balance," he says, finding it hilarious that balance is one of the things Silvuru cannot do!

Malchik drops an ice cream (red wine flavour) on Adam Neko's head and zooms off to torment the rest of the world with Shin's sole rights to ROTK!

In Peregine's ship, Malchik clone apologises for having caused youthification. "But it means you can live your life again and not repeat all the mistakes you made last time." He burbles. "Do not kill me I am innocent of ill-will, malice and cheating at ping-pong (not a cheating at Morrowind but he will never admit to that except in polite company)!" On the fifth floor of Shin's castle, Malchik clone is coming to grips with his new position. (Don't ask) Fortunately the millions of DiCaprio clones are outside his range of vision. In Hell the real Malchik wakes up refreshed and peers into his Galadriel's Scrying bowl (Mark 2 second hand). He sees huge numbers of small people clutching tickets to the premier of a certain film. The atmosphere of hell starts an evil plan in his mind. An international powercut every time they attempt to show the said film! Muahahahaha! He sends his army of fleas over earths mark one to infinity. No one is ever going to see that film outside New Zealand! Hehehehehehehehe! How sad! He chortles evilly.

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Nothing's unfair in love and war! Malchik clone rains down ice-creams on everybodys' heads!

Sadly Pack Rat remains deluded by the influence of Malchik clone. Another icecream, cherry and hershey bar flavour lands on Pack Rat's head. Why does he not take the hint? In Hell Malchik rolls over and falls into a lava pit. Fortunately he is resistent to anything except Leonardo diCaprio clones who make him run screaming into infinity. (That is Infinity Nebraska). So far no one has tried to use diCaprio clones.

Malchik, totally out of his head, rolls back from lunch on his way to bed (quickly). He thanks Peregrine for not killing anyone in his absence an then accidentally locks him in the lavatory of time loss. When Peregrine emerges he is only one year old! Silvuru gets an enchanted email. "Watch out for the elastic aubergine of gross out!" Malchik collapses in several heaps.