Lisnpuppy

The Goddess suddenly stopped crying. Her frozen tears flew off her face and began spinning about her, shining like the brightest of supernovas. Spinning at a pace unable to be seen by those of the mortal realm the fading Goddess's form suddenly exploded in a cascade of burning light. The thunderous noise went throughout all the Worlds. Not unlike an atomic explosion it flattened all that it passed. But it did not kill or even harm the actual inhabitants, just destroyed all structure, form, etc. In its wake were the bewildered inhabitants of the world and a perfect and new, night before Christmas like Snow Arena where all could begin again at the start. It was the Big Crunch. All was perfect just as in the beginning when first formed by the Dark One. In the place of the Goddess was a huge black Raven with snow white wing tips. Like the Celtic War Goddess Morrigu she sat perfect. Suddenly she let out a screech, grabbed some snow in her great beak and tossed in right into the middle of Gman's chest knocking him onto his bum in the crytalized snow. "Make a fort...some ammo...I'll be back.." she called. Off she flew in search of Nosisab to beg him to come back and split more infinatives and play some more with a little less seriousness.... Off she flew to find the Old ONe and convince him that "wimmin" could also play. Off she went to find KoolAId, zombies, Bob (though she refused to feed him) a new tea pot and some fine Black Pekote... Off she flew to give back her nice Wolfe Fur coat...

The Goddess does not engage in battle. She does not laugh more. She simply continues to cry silent frozen tears and fades a bit further....

Despite the Goddess's big words and big balls....she was saddened and confused by the previous acceptance (abet with some resignation) of her presence in the Snow Arena. Now the Old One seemed to find her... distasteful. She could not seem to blame it only on the horrid shape of his previously stuck tongue. Though she loved the glory of battle (being the decendant of the Great Goddess Morrigu) she love it more in fun than in fact. In her confusion she dropped her strong persona and frozen tears began to slowly run down her face. She brushed at them angrily muttering..."there's no crying in baseball..." Slowly by small increments she began to fade.

The Goddess held both Nosisab and her own snowball bowling balls in her hands after the frame was played. Through same mentioned portable hole she heard the mad shreakings of the sole....Old One. "I wish to be friend to all and yet engage in fair fight with all..." she spoke. She then narrowed her eyes in her best Mom-like manner, "Be careful Old One..." The Goddess rasped while still holding the snowball bowling balls aloft, "Some of us have bigger balls than others..." Of course referring to her glorious spheres of pin knocker-downers....

The Goddess took her ball and stepped up to the line. She marked off one step..then another. Finally she danced around in a seemingly erratic manner on one foot and threw her ball down the lane towrd the zombies with perfect form. The Zombies....being without heads did not see the ball coming and thus continued to mill about arms outstreched. "Ka WACK!" "STRIKE" yelled the Goddess with glee. One Zombie flew toward the Firey lizard and Bob, knocking the tea pot asunder. Another Zombie went and hit Freddie in the side of the face, causing him to fall on his accordian of deafness, yet another Zombie flew arms flailing wildly. It hit Evil's laser causing it to go off again completely destroying the Starship and throwing KoolAid dust everywhere. The remaining zombies, figuring out- headless though they were -that something was amiss...wisely laid down in the snow and began waving arms and leg making slimy, headless snow angels. "Well then..." spoke the Goddess satisfaction in her voice. "Shall we go bug the Old One some more?"

The Goddess made another perfect snow bowling ball and handed it to Nosisab. "Age before beauty..." she said allowing him the first go... (ha ha)

The Goddess looked at Nosisab and smiled a glorious smile. She wasn't sure why the little amphibian was so upset about the sweet iced tea when it was SO obviously better than hot....but she had zombies with which to deal. "So.." she said to Nosisab..... "does Bowling for Zombies sound good to you?" A perfectly sized and weighted snow bowling ball appeared in the Goddess hand....

No matter what language the post were in the Goddess's head would remain intact (even if there was steam coming out of her ear) as she had the mighty power of the Babel Fish to translate for her. As for the tea being served the newly risen combatants....well...she did the right and only good thing to be done with tea. Made it Southern-Style sweet and put ice in it. This was the Snow Arena after all....and how else would a right-minded person drink tea. <ha ha>

The Goddess listened to all the beautiful languages going on around her. "Ah..." she sighed with sorrow "my great mind was ruined by the West Virginia Public Education System..." No hablo Espanol. No hablo Frances. Yo hablo engles muy mal. ha ha (Speak English you freaks for those of us that are stupid and didnt get offered foreign languages until high school.! :biggrin: )

The Goddess gave the Shameleon the stink eye. "Get your mind out of the gutter..." she proclaimed. "Tongue for tasting SPAM...geez! You men!" She then reached down and firmly, yet gently extracted the Old One's tongue from the paper moon. "Yuck.." the Goddess proclaimed as reptile salavia dripped from her hand... Looking around she thought about patting the back of Nosisab, but he was so nice. Instead she wiped it on the paper moon and wished she had a wetnap. "So what now..." asked the Goddess.

The Goddess, while staring in facination at the Old One's tongue, set up a frozen Mega-shield completely enclosing the paper moon. This shield deflected all incoming projectiles leaving the enclosed creatures safe for more ramblings. The Goddess then informed the Old One that tongues could be used for better things than being stuck to paper moons and was immediately amused by the multitude of colors into which the Old Shameleon turned....

And in a single post Wolfe once again proves what a HUGE pain in the arse he really can be. Thankfully the Goddess was used to such juvenille tactics and merely smiled, did a little dance, shook her grove thing and expelled said item right into the snowy Oblivion where it belonged. She and her new fur coat then went back to her interesting activities among friends on the paper moon. At this time completely ignoring a small and insignificant wolfe. It was at this point that Nosisab and the still anxious but bemused Squirrel decided once again to attempt something other than short, sound-bite sentences.....

Since Wolfe couldn't come up with an actual response to the not unreadable diatribe of Nosisab, the Goddess decided now was a good time for that wolfe fur coat she had been wanting. And since she was a Goddess and Queen there was nothing for Wolfe to do except stand cold and in his boxer shorts bemoaning his lame use of emotioncons in the Snow Arena. As the snow continued to fall the Goddess snapped up all who wished to go and took them to the comfort of a new and much enlarged and stable paper moon.

The Goddess upon seeing the salamanders said, "aww...they are so cute. Just like the ones I used to play with when I was a little Goddess in my mountain home." At that thought she decided they would be most happy there in the warm and clean mountain creeks and thusly immediately and permenately banished them to those fine places. She heard a chainsaw in the distance and thought about the nice wolfe fur coat she may need...but would handle that later. The Goddess looked about and saw Nosisab sitting with a very anxious squirrel on his shoulder. She floated over to him and the Old One. "Hi." "Anybody want to try this party again?" Before them appeared yummy selections taken from their wildest gastronomic fantasies. As the Goddess sipped her Cherry Coke from her favorite R2D2 cup she peered curiously at the Old One...well...at the Old One's nose, then at the Old One. "Essential Oils, huh?" and then, "You know, John Denver never visited West Virginia before he wrote that song...and the Blue Ridge Mountains aren't in West Virginia...but I like the song...it was on EARL last night." She offered Nosisab a smile and the Squirrel a handful of nuts as she swung her feet contentedly over the side of the still intact paper moon....

The Goddess watched in abject horror as the world, people and more importantly her Buffett Party went in all directions. The Goddess had enough. It was time to pull out the strongest of her Goddess powers to fix the mess and to wreck vengenge on those that ruined her party. Her form morphed and swirled. Becoming to all that which they held most dear and most feared. To every creature that looked upon her she became what she was... A MOM! Out of a rip in the fabric of time she pulled her weapon....a paddle. "I have had ENOUGH OF THIS!!!" And to every corner of the Universe, into every ear it was heard......and fear began to grow....

The Goddess stood alone again except for a almost unnoticed squirrel, a packet of Koolaid, a paper moon overhead and dozens of split infinitives floating around not unlike mosquitoes. Brushing the annoying infinitives from her face she looked about. She really just wanted to get along with everyone and have a party and give everyone easier access to worship her. "Ah.." she exclaimed. Suddenly a huge buffett table appeared before her with many, many chairs. Upon it she placed any number of furry critter dishes, honey, banana splits, Spam, Spam eggs and Spam (which only had a little Spam in it), KoolAid with snowball shaped ice, peanut butter and honey sandwiches, donuts and paper-moon shaped napkins. She then sent up her invitations to all whom cared to come. The invitation flew into the air and exploded like fireworks in the sky. "Eat at Joes" it said. Then another explosion.. "All welcome at the Goddess Dinner Party!! No dress code!" She waited nervously to see if anyone would show up and hoped she wouldn't be dissappointed...

The Goddess sniffed the air... "I smell bad grammar. Double negatives..." she mumbled under her breath. But she was soon again distracted by her righeous fury... (just kidding Nosisab! :) )

The Goddess was royally peeved. NOBODY kicks her in the face. IT could mess up her hair. Growing to titanic size she grabbed up Marcus by the scruff of the neck and raised him high in the air to her eye level. In a booming voice the Goddess spoke, "Say you are sorry or I will shove snowballed Spam down your throat until you gag, regardless of what its made of!!" To be honest the Goddess thought Span could be and was made of any number of the things listed by Marcus, but that was beside the point.

The Goddess looked down at Marcus and Evilkoal and shook her head in amusement. She then got out her magical sewing kit and sewed back Evilkoal's head. It was a little crooked but otherwise ok. She was NOT after all, a domestic goddess. She then took both Marcus and Evilkoal but the ears and told them if they didn't behave better they would not get any Spam for dinner.

The giant Redwood Tree fell upon the signing Goddess, crushing her vocal cords and stopping her joyous singing. She sat up, brushed twigs out of her hair, gave the stink eye to Marcus and spoke with a raspy voice... "Everyone's a critic..."

The Goddess danced in the bloody rain. No amount of Spam, banana splits or honey slush balls could bring down her mood. She had defeated the evil of her own making. Now she glorified in the slaughter of Marcus Wolfe and his wonderous decapitation. Then she began to sing... "..take me home..to the place I belong...."

The Goddess looked around and grabbed a handful of snow, washing away the worst of the stickiness from the scary snowball she had thrown at an infidel. "hmmm....wet now...where..?" A movement from above caught her attention. On a floating paper moon she saw an Old One dancing..something...Swan Lake maybe? Goddess wasn't sure since ballet wasn't really her thing. However as beautifully as the Old One seemed to be dancing, under the circumstances, it was what he was dancing ON which gardered her forcus. The Goddess reached her hand and gently began pulling the paper moon down toward the insanity of which the Old One wanted none.

As the Goddess dissolved she felt something..sticky....all over her hand! <hmmm> To no one in particular the Goddess spoke. "I need a paper towel."

<fwomp> As the Goddess dissovled into nothingness, Gman felt the the numbing cold of the scariest snowball. And as he spat out snow, twigs, crunchy bits, spam, more snow and honey he heard her glorious laughter...

"What will the favor be?" gman asks. "Your eternal servant? A rag doll for you to throw around? What?" The Goddess smiled again, this time bearing her teeth at Gman. "Favor and food...or....." And suddenly appearing in her hand was the scariest snow ball Gman had ever seen...